You Are The Wilderness - The Walking Dead Fanfiction
by Andy-Loves-FanFiction
Summary: Rick Grimes finally found his son, ex-wife and a best friend safe and sound in the camp just outside of Atlanta but what happens when he looks around trying to find another familiar face and finds out she's not there? What happened to Kiara and why she isn't in the group of survivors? Will he ever find her in this post-apocalyptic nightmare of a world they all live in?
1. Chapter 1 - The Reunion

**CHAPTER 1 – THE REUNION**

**Kiara's POV**

I was becoming winded with every step that I took, running through the thick woods few miles north-west from Atlanta. I was trying to get away from the four Biters that were closing in on me, my mind becoming fuzzy from the blood lost caused by a deep cut on my side. Smell of fresh blood attracting the crawling corpses, making them dour in their pursuit of a human flesh. I shook off my backpack; my katana in its sheath still slung over my body, and snatched my hatchet and baseball bat in one hand, pulling out my hunting knife in the other. I swung around and threw my trusty knife into the forehead of the nearest Biter that immediately slumped to the ground. One down, three to go. The pain in my side was growing with every second. The second Biter making its way towards me, I took the bat into my right hand and with every ounce of strength embedded it into its temple. I didn't bother to retrieve it as the third creature was coming straight at me. The Biter went down with one swift swing of my hatchet. The stinging pain in my side made me fall to my knees, the blood stream from my wound restless in spite of my best efforts to contain it. I saw the last one of the corpses gaining on me and reached for my katana, the will to survive still strong within me. I lounged forward, shoved the disgusting creature to the ground and thrust my sword into its eye ending its miserable afterlife.

Finally rid of any imminent threats I slumped to the ground breathing hard, my vision becoming blurry, the dizziness from the blood lost overwhelming me. Then I saw it, the outlines of a figure hunching over me. I must have missed this one. I franticly reached for my sword, but it was still stuck in the head of the Biter I took down. "This is the end", I thought, "I'm going to get mauled by these drooling freaks". I closed my eyes waiting for the agonizing sensation of teeth ripping the flesh from my body, but instead I heard a voice calling my name.

"Kiara? How's this possible?"

I forced my eyes open, trying to find the source of the voice, the southern accent oddly and sweetly familiar. Then I saw him, my friend and neighbour who I thought was dead. Rick Grimes, I'll be damned. His bright blue orbs shining with the mixture of confusion, surprise and relief.

"This must be the best hallucination I've ever had." I chuckled slightly and raised my hand to touch his face, to make sure he is indeed real.

"How are you here right now?" I asked as he hugged me tightly. I hissed sharply, the wound in my side reminding itself. He looked down on my blood soaked flannel shirt and then back at me.

"There will be time for explanations and stories later, but now we have to get you back to the camp." He helped me up from the ground, slung my arm around his shoulder and picked me up as if I weighed nothing.

"My gear..." I protested weakly.

"Yeah, I got it." That's when I first took notice of Rick's companion – tall lean guy with light brown hair in a ragged clothes. He had all my stuff slung across his shoulders and a crossbow in his hands, closely watching our surroundings with a cat-like expression on his face.

"That's Darryl Dixon. He's one of ours, great tracker and hunt..." Rick was cut off by Darryl who spoke up.

"Save this for later. I aint waitin' around for more of them bastards to come sniffin' around. We need to patch 'er up before the blood attracts more of 'em."

Rick sighed and started towards where I assumed the camp was. "He's also the snappy one."

As Rick was carrying me through the thick flora of Georgian forest I allowed my stressed muscles and adrenaline ridden mind relax and slowly drifted away into shallow slumber.

**Rick's POV**

We lost people last night, a lot of them. Everybody thinks it's my fault. I can see the looks on their faces. Even Lori's face betrayed her and Shane said it outright. I'm trying to convince myself that I did the right thing coming back for Merle and the bag with guns, but their accusing faces were starting to get to me. I walked away from the camp to take a breather and to talk to Morgan.

We spent most of that day cleaning up the aftermath of the attack, sorting Walkers away from our people and piling them on for burning. Andrea still hadn't moved away from her sister's body. She had sat with her through the whole night, not moving, just caressing her hair and weeping silently. We all knew it was only matter of time before Amy turned. Lori went to talk to her first, trying to convince her to let us take care of her, but not getting any kind of acknowledgement from the shocked blonde. When I walked up to talk to her, she drew her gun on me telling me she knows how the safety works. I backed away, but stayed close awaiting the inevitable. When Amy finally turned, I started to slowly approach the sisters, but it was Andrea herself who put her out of her misery. It broke my heart watching it to happen and I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one.

I was talking to Shane about our options when Jacqui yelled that Jim got bit by a Walker which led to another wave of panic rising among the survivors. Darryl would nail Jim straight in the head with a pickaxe if I hadn't put my gun to his head which he wasn't very happy about to say the least. We had quite the argument, Shane and I, about what our next move should be. Shane insisted we tried for Fort Benning but I knew that the only chance to save Jim's life and to get some answers was to go to CDC. I'm pretty sure most of the survivors didn't agree with me, I could see they were terrified and I didn't blame them. After the funeral I stepped into the RV to talk to Jim and reassure him that we will do everything we can to help him. Later, when we gathered together to talk, I was surprised and relieved to see that Shane finally agreed to try for CDC.

The atmosphere at the camp was still very grim and heavy so I decided to go hunting before we head out the following morning and asked Darryl along with me in hopes to get on the redneck's good side.

My thoughts wandered to the day I got to the camp. It was the best and the worst moment since I woke up in that hospital. I still couldn't believe I had found Carl, Lori and Shane safe and sound there. When I looked around the camp trying to find another familiar face, Shane told me how Kiara had left for Boston two days after I got shot, because her mom got attacked in the hospital she was working in and died few hours after. They hadn't heard from her since. Only after everything had gone to hell they assumed that her mom must have been one of the first victims of the outbreak. I felt my heart sink upon hearing this and fear crept into my soul. That night I hadn't slept, trying to figure out what to do. I was truly conflicted. I knew I had to find her somehow but I also knew I had to keep my family and friends safe.

We were walking through the woods for a while when we heard panting and shuffling of feet in the close distance. We sneaked towards the sound and saw a young woman finishing killing a Walker with a sword of some sort and then slumping to the ground. As we got closer I noticed her hair was the familiar dark auburn colour. "This is too good to be true" I thought to myself but as I hunched over the barely conscious woman, I realized it was really her. Her face covered in sweat and Walker blood and those beautiful turquoise eyes looking cloudy and confused as she was trying to reach for her sword. She then closed her eyes as if expecting something bad to happen. I called out her name and she reached her hand to touch my face.

"This must be the best hallucination I've ever had", she chuckled, "How are you here right now?" I hugged her tightly still not believing I found her. She winced sharply and only then I noticed her bleeding wound. The panic rose in my throat and I started to pick her up. She protested weakly and started to look around for her gear. Darryl picked it up and was starting towards the camp. I tried to lighten the mood by introducing him to Kiara but was shut down immediately by the snappy redneck. I didn't blame him, we needed to get her to the relative safety of the camp and tend to her wounds. It was no time for the introductions. As we headed for the camp I noticed she started to drift off and the panic inside rose again. I checked her vitals and noticed she was breathing steadily and probably just dosed off from sheer exhaustion. I quickened my pace nevertheless. I couldn't believe I found her. Now everybody I cared about was within my reach and under my protection.


	2. Chapter 2 - Officer Friendly

**AUTOR´S NOTE: _Ok, so I couldn´t wait until Monday to post another chapter, so here it is, enjoy & let me know what you think :-)_**

**CHAPTER 2 – OFFICER FRIENDLY**

**Kiara's POV**

I woke up slightly startled by all the voices around me and realized I was still in Rick's arms. Darryl with all my gear was walking right behind us, his eyes scanning the situation in the camp. There were many strange faces, people just staring at me, concerned questions being asked.

"Dad? Is that Kiara?!" I turned my head in a direction where the voice came from and saw Carl running towards us and stopping in his tracks when he saw my bloody shirt; "What happened to you?"

"I got stabbed buddy. It's a long story." I winced as I was being laid on a mattress in someone's tent.

"Darryl and I found her in the woods slaying Walkers like some kind of warrior princess or somethin'. I was impressed." Rick joked around making me chuckle only to hiss in pain. He shot me an apologetic look and called for Carol, whoever that was, to come have a look at my wound.

The woman that walked into the tent had a cute face and short grey haircut. She sat on the mattress next to me and opened some kind of first aid kit, then unbuttoned my shirt and lifted up the tank top I had underneath to have a look at my wound.

"The cut is quite deep. She's definitely going to need some stitches. It seems it's good we're headin' to the CDC after all. The doctors there will take care of her. All I can do now is bandage the wound properly to stop the bleeding."

She started opening the pack of sterile gauze and cleaning up the area around the cut with some rubbing alcohol. The tent was a little bit crowded at that point, so Rick nudged Carls towards the entrance: "Carl, why don't you go find your mom. I'm sure she's looking for you by now. I'll call you back later when there's less people in here."

"Ok dad, see you soon Kiara."

"You know it Big Chief." I smiled and waved at him. I love that kid so much. I looked around and saw Rick looking at me, thoughtful expression on his face. I felt my stomach twist and blush rising to my cheeks. I thought I'd never see him or Carl ever again. I smiled at him wanting to tell him everything, to pour out my feelings and hug him and never let him go. I opened my mouth but instead of doing what I wanted and should've done long ago, I asked him for some water. I watched him leave and mentally cursed myself for being such a chicken. In the meantime Carol finished tending to my wound and left me to rest.

Few minutes after, Rick walked back in with a water bottle and some canned sausage and beans. I hadn't realized until then that I was starving. He placed it on a make-shift night table next to the mattress and turned around to look at me.

"You know I thought I'd never see you again Kiara. I still don't understand how we found you today. We were planning to leave this place for good and try for CDC tomorrow morning. I ... I thought it was a miracle that I found Carl, Lori and Shane here, but to literally stumble upon you two days ago ... it's ... I don't know ... it makes me feel like everything's goin' to be ok in the end. It gives me hope ... if we left today before we found you ... I can't even..." he started to stutter and needed to take a deep breath to calm himself. I could see he was scared and feeling lost and that he was trying to hide it, to be the rock for his family and friends. I sat up and gave him a hug.

"Don't think about it. You found me and that's what matters. There's no need to play what-if games right now. You'll drive yourself insane. I thought I'd never see you again too. You have no idea how glad I am to be here with you and Carl and Shane and even with Lori." That last remark made him chuckle and he hugged me even tighter. "So how'd you ended up here anyway? I'm sure there's an awesome story." He let go of me and handed me my food and water. He planted himself right next to me on the mattress and started with his incredible and almost unbelievable story.

When Rick told me how he first saw Carl in the camp, I cried like a little bitch. I really hate crying in front of people, but I couldn't help myself. Rick then told me how he decided to go back for Darryl's brother they left on the roof in Atlanta and how they came back to the camp only to find it overrun with Walkers. He was looking down and rubbing the nape of his neck and I could see frustration and guilt written all over his face. I was sure he blamed himself for what happened.

I got really sleepy and started to look around for my stuff. "I should probably get up and try to find some tent to sleep in. I feel stupid just laying here and taking up someone else's place."

"Actually it's my tent. Shane and I have watch tonight so you will stay here and rest. We have a long journey ahead of us so get as much sleep as you can. I'll bring in your stuff and some more water so you can wash and change. Let me know if you need anything." He got up and started collecting his essentials for the night.

"Will do Officer Friendly." He smirked at me and left. I still couldn't believe that after everything I've been through I finally found Rick and Carl and was with a group of decent people for a change. I felt incredibly lucky and as I started to drift away into deep sleep I thought of the first time I met him.

_It took me a while to get myself to actually do this, but I finally did it. I moved out from my parents' house to a completely different city. I love my family, I really do. I'd die for them, but I wanted to start a life for myself. Also, ever since my brother Colin broke up with his fiancée and moved back home, the thought of starting my life some place new became a burning desire. It's not that I don't love my brother, quite the opposite, he's my best friend and my rock, but sometimes he can be a little too protective for my taste. Not to mention my dad who's a cop and a former soldier. You can only imagine how long it took me to make my parents consent to the idea of me moving away._

_So here I was driving my pickup truck loaded with all my belongings to my first house in the little town of Kings County. It was much cheaper to find something outside of Atlanta and commute from there. I also managed to get a great deal on a cute and quite large place in Atlanta to turn into my very own Capoeira studio. Capoeira had been my passion ever since I was fifteen and it was my lifelong dream to open up my own place. I even invited few of my buddies to come work with me. I felt so lucky I couldn't even begin to describe it._

_I entered the town and was thinking about colour pallets for the rooms of my house when my stomach churned loud enough to drown out the music blasting from my radio reminding me that I hadn't eaten anything since early that morning. I snorted and decided to find the nearest diner and get some take-out before I head home. That was the first time I called my new place a home. It made me smile._

_It didn't take much time to find probably the only diner in this town. I sighed contently, parked my truck and headed for the door. I went in looking around and chuckling slightly as few of the locals took in my appearance which made them widen their eyes and then look away somewhat ashamed when they realized I saw them. It's not like I looked that weird or something, but my looks could appear a bit "unusual" to say the least, especially in a small town like this one. I had a sleeve tattoo on my right arm, a nose ring and dark auburn dreadlocks that were my pride and joy and almost reached my lower back at the time. I was wearing dark blue skinny jeans, my brother's AC/DC T-shirt paired with my trusty old leather biker jacket and my beloved converse sneakers. I decided to sit behind the counter and took a quick look of the menu trying to figure out what food I was in a mood for biting my lower lip doing so. _

"_I wouldn't order the salmon if I were you." Low macho-like voice said which made me look away from the menu on its owner. I wanted to tell him to mind his own damned business but I realized he was wearing a cop uniform. I took in his appearance and noticed he was quite muscular which reminded me of my brother; his complexion was slightly darker giving him a little bit exotic look. His eyes were dark brown, almost black and glistening with mischief. I opted for a more diplomatic approach since I didn't need to get in trouble the first day in town. _

"_Well thank you for your concern. Do you always take such a great deal of interest in strangers' well being?"His partner, who I hadn't until then noticed, chuckled slightly and tried to help his friend. _

"_Well madam, he's a police officer so he should be concerned with how'd you put it..._ _ strangers' well being now shouldn't he?" You know the flip your stomach does when you first see someone really handsome? Well mine did just that leaving me speechless for a while, my usually smartass mouth hanging open. He was probably ten or more years older than me, but boy, was he gorgeous. He had short dark brown hair, the most hypnotizing bright blue eyes and cutest smile I've ever seen. I pulled myself together and responded. _

"_Well that's awfully kind of you, but I can handle myself, thanks." I decided for a burger and some fries pining for a slice of Ernesto's pizza and placed my order to a middle-aged waitress whose name tag read "Julie" and who was kind enough to pour me a cup of coffee on the house while I waited. _

_I turned around back at the two officers, smiled and started sipping on the sweet dark brown liquid I couldn't function without. Yeah, I was an exemplar case of a coffee addict. I continued the conversation with the two officers, introductions were made and Shane flirting a little too much for my comfort. Nevertheless I realized I was enjoying myself. Time passed-by very quickly and my food was ready._

"_Well this would be my cue. It was nice to meet you Officer Friendly and Officer way too Friendly." Those nicknames I made up for them made Rick choke on his coffee, Shane looking down, rubbing his head not knowing how to respond. I made my way to my truck, placing my food on the passenger seat when I saw Rick and Shane exit the diner and head towards their car that was parked right next to mine._

"_So where're you heading now?" Shane asked. I told him the address and asked them if they could point me to the right direction since I wasn't quite sure where exactly my new house was. I saw that looks have been exchanged between the two officers and when Rick looked at me, the look on his face was one of genuine amusement. That got me a little confused to say the least._

"_Why don't you ...ehm...why don't you follow us? We're headin' that way actually. I'll drop Shane here home and show you." Smile never leaving his face. I was still a bit confused but agreed to do so since I didn't feel like roaming around the town trying to find the damned place. _

_I hopped into my truck and followed the officers. After five-minute-drive I was parking outside of Shane's house and waiting for the two friends to say their goodbyes for the day. I followed Rick and after another ten minutes or so, he was pulling up outside a cute house that looked a little too well maintained for it to be my place. I got out of the truck and looked around noticing the number of the house wasn't right. _

"_I think you got the numbers of the house confused. Mine's 294, this is 292."_

"_I know. This one's mine. Yours is next doors." Smile still plastered on his face, and a glint of amusement in his eyes. I found myself staring at him again, with my mouth hung open, again. Holly crap I was living right next to the Officer Friendly._


	3. Chapter 3 - Farewells and Chances

**__****So I clearly can´t restrain myself from updating every other day, but it´s officialy 9th of February here, which means TWD is finally back, yay!**

As usual I hope you enjoyed & let me know what you think

_**P.S: From now in I will update every Monday because my semester has began and I don´t **______**know how much time I´ll have left for writing, hopefully enough :-)**_

**CHAPTER 3 – FAREWELLS AND CHANCES**

**Rick's POV**

The sun was rising over the horizon when I finished my watch and went away to talk to Morgan as usual. I had to let him know we were moving out from the quarry to CDC. I left a map along with a note taped to the Challenger. It was all I could do for him at that moment. I just hoped he was right about that place. A lot was at stakes at that moment. Jim's condition was getting worse with every passing hour and Kiara's wound was also in need of medical care. After I finished my little talk I walked back to the camp to wake her up and make sure everybody was ready to leave.

I was unzipping the tent when I saw Kiara putting on black tank top, her wild hair in a high ponytail and her gear already packed up and ready. I coughed lightly to alert her to my presence and she turned around slightly startled but then smiled.

"Hey, can you help me out? Carol left some bandages to redress the cut, but I can't reach the damned spot properly." frustration taking over her pretty features. I walked in and she handed me clean bandage. I peeled the cover off and lifted her tank top up a bit to get rid of the soiled one. I took it off and examined the cut. It looked irritated around the edges and I could see it was inflamed badly. I set out to clean it a little. As I was doing so I subconsciously brushed my fingers across her skin causing the goose-bumps to rise on the nape of her neck. She looked at me over her shoulder, blush evident on her face and my breath hitched in my throat. I quickly collected myself and put a fresh bandage on the wound and pulled her tank top back down. I turned her around to feel her forehead and I was right. She was running a fever.

"Ehm ... so ... how're you feelin' today?"

"Peachy" she smiled and dropped her gaze to the ground but I could see her face was strained from the pain.

"Yeah right, don't try to play the hero. I can see you're in pain. I'm gonna ask around and see if there are any painkillers or antibiotics. You're going to need them. And you're riding with me, Carl, Carol and Sophia. I need to keep my eye on you." I took her backpack with me to put it inside the car.

"But what about Lori? Wouldn't she want to ride along with Carl?" she asked sheepishly.

"Nope. She's goin' to be ridin' in the RV and help Jacqui take care of Jim. You're ridin' with us, end of discussion."

"Alright, bossy-pants." I turned around to see a crooked smile plastered on her face. I rolled my eyes at her and walked away towards the car.

Half hour later we were all gathered next to the cars. Shane was giving instructions for the road when Morales said they were leaving us. We were all a bit shocked by their decision to leave the safety of a group, but there was nothing we could do to make them reconsider so it was time to say our farewells. It got very emotional. We decided to give them one of the handguns and half box of ammo, Shane questioning whether our chances are any better than theirs. I really didn't need to hear that, I had enough on my mind already. We finally set out on the road – Dale leading the way in RV with Glenn, Jim, Lori and Jacqui, then me with Kiara, Carol and the kids in Cherokee, T-dog and Andrea in van followed by Darryl in his truck and Shane in his Jeep at the tail of our caravan. I felt hopeful and nervous at the same time not knowing what lied ahead of us but praying for the best.

After few hours of driving through the Georgia countryside, RV's radiator hose broke down again. Shane was just looking through his binoculars hoping for a gas station nearby when Jacqui jumped out of the RV telling us that Jim had taken turn for the worse. I stepped into the RV to talk to him while Shane and T-dog rode away to find something that could be used to fix the damned hose. I reassured Jim that we'd be back on the road soon and to my surprise the look on his face turned from one of pain into one of sheer horror.

"Oh no, Christ. My bones, my bones're like glass... every lil' bump...god. This ride's killin' me. Leave me here. I'm done...just leave me. I wane be with my family." He muttered weakly and my heart sank, the mere idea chilling me to my core. I sat next to him telling him that his family was dead and that he didn't know what he was asking. After all he'd been delirious most of the time. I couldn't just leave him behind, I couldn't. It would be my fault he didn't make it.

As if he knew what I was thinking, he told me he was clear and was definitely sure he wanted to stay behind and that it was his decision, that it was on him. I knew there was no point arguing and the least we could do was to grant the man his wish so I went to talk to the group. I could see they didn't like the idea as well but they agreed eventually. We said our farewells and set out on the road once again, the mood significantly heavier.

**Kiara's POV**

After we left Jim under that tree, the mood in the car was getting grimmer with every minute. I hadn't known him at all but I still felt sad about the poor man's destiny. I was a little groggy from all the ibuprofen Rick stuffed me with, but it definitely eased some of my pain. My stomach was churning and my throat felt scratchy but I wasn't the only one. None of us have eaten for two days and it was taking its toll on us.

"How'd you get to Atlanta anyway? Last time anyone had any information of your whereabouts, you were in Boston. So what happened? Where's Colin? Your dad?" I could hear a sincere concern in Rick's voice but the questions cut too deep, reviving memories I wished I could've erased from my mind forever.

"I... ehm... well my mom got attacked in the hospital she worked in and died. That's why I left for Boston in a first place. We didn't know what was happening at the time and I decided to stay with dad and Colin for a few days after the funeral. When the disease spread and everything started to fall apart, I tried to call your house, but no one would answer. My dad barricaded us in the house with supplies. He thought he could keep us safe there, but then one night when he was keeping watch, about ten Walkers broke through to our house. I woke up to my dad yelling at Colin to get me out of there and then he was attacked. We had our gear and supplies prepared and packed in the trunk of my truck in case we needed to leave the house in a rush. I have no idea how Colin got me out of the house or how we got through next days, but when I finally pulled it together I convinced him to try for Kings County or Atlanta. I knew we had to find you. We got to Charlotte but then we ran into some people. It got pretty bad and... and Colin... he got killed." I couldn't hold back my tears anymore at that point so I just let them stream down my face quietly not able to continue with the story. "I'm sorry... I can't... I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"God... I'm so sorry Kiara... I... I wish I could've done something." Rick sputtered, not knowing how to react. Carol reached from the back seat and squeezed my shoulder trying to soothe me. I tried to pull it together taking a few deep breaths to calm myself. I smiled at Rick and said:"I'm ok. It's just... I'm not ready to talk about what happened to Colin, not yet at least."

"It's ok Kiara. I'm here for you, we all are." he stroked my arm reassuringly instantly making me feel better. I relaxed to his touch and soon I dozed off.

**Rick's POV**

Kiara's story really broke my heart. I had no idea she had been through so much and it was killing me that there was absolutely nothing I could do to prevent that. Kiara dozed off again so I was making a small talk with Carol and kids just to pass the time away.

When we arrived to CDC, it was almost dark outside and the smell rising from hundreds of rotting corpses was absolutely overwhelming. My heart sank at the sight but I still held onto my hope. This had to be it!

We stepped out of our cars and started to carefully make our way towards the entrance covering our noses with hands and shirts, coughing from the nasty odour. We got to the entrance, but it was sealed with metal shutters and there was no sign of people anywhere, at least not living people. I tried to push she shutters open, Shane banging on them and people started to panic. Darryl screamed "Walkers" and kids started to cry, terrified. He went ahead shooting his crossbow and Kiara lunged forward swinging her sword, doing everything to keep everybody safe. Darryl screaming at me and people asking me what were we going to do. Lori yelling at me that we needed answers tonight. I started to panic, desperate, not knowing what to do. Everybody started to run for the cars and as I looked at the camera over the door, I saw it moved.

"The camera! It moved!" I yelled, everybody stopping in their tracks, Dale telling me I was imagining it.

"Are you sure?" Kiara asked, stepping towards me panting and holding her side.

"It moved. It moved." I kept on repeating and stepping closer to the device. Shane coming to my side telling me it was an automated device, but I knew what I saw!

"No!" I said and started banging at the shutters and yelling at the people inside to let us in. There were more Walkers closing in on us and people started screaming again. Shane started to pull me away towards the cars, but I was persistent. I couldn't just let this go! We needed to get in, we needed the shelter and food and medical care for Kiara. This couldn't be it! I kept on screaming that they were killing us by not letting us in and Shane finally managed to pull me away and shoved me towards the cars when the shutters suddenly opened, the bright light blinding us all temporarily.

We all made it quickly inside, our guns at ready, looking for a person that let us in. I was supporting Kiara as she was quickly losing any remains of strength she had left.

"Hello?" I called out. I heard a sound of a gun being cocked which made me raise mine along with others.

"Anybody infected?" A male voice called out from the shadows.

"One of our group was," I told him. "He didn't make it."

"What about her?" he asked pointing at Kiara whose head was slumping on my shoulder at that point, her eyes still open and cautious though.

"She was stabbed, not bitten. The wound is inflamed though and she's running a fever." I told him not wanting to withhold anything.

The man then stepped forward. "Why are you here? What do you want?" he asked.

"A chance."


	4. Chapter 4 - Finally Safe?

_**Author´s note: Soo I this chapter Rick and Kiara will finally take their relationship to the next level. I hope you´ll enjoy it. Any feedback is more than welcome :)**_

**CHAPTER 4 – FINALLY SAFE?**

**Kiara's POV**

After bringing our stuff inside the group was packed in a massive elevator that led us to lower levels of the research facility. Daryl asked whether doctors always went around packing a heat like that to which Dr. Jenner answered that there were plenty of those lying around to familiarize with and observed that we all looked harmless enough except for Carl which made him smile.

"Yeah, he's a killer all right," I chipped. That earned me a chuckle from Rick and very obvious eye roll from Lori. She still didn't like me. Well tough shit. I had no tolerance left for her drama. I was tired, hungry and coming down from the high of the painkillers. We were lead through a series of hallways to another room.

"Vi, bring up the lights in the big room," Jenner called out and the lights turned on immediately, the huge room looked ominously empty. "Welcome to Zone 5."

"Where is everybody? The other doctors, the staff," Rick asked walking in, his arm still supporting me, preventing me from collapsing to the ground.

"I'm it. It's just me here," Jenner replied.

"What about the person you were speaking with… Vi?" Lori inquired.

"Vi, say hello to our guests. Tell them… welcome." We all looked around as a computer voice roared through the big room saying "Hello guests, welcome," and then Jenner said the thing I feared we'd hear ever since we walked into the building.

"I'm all that's left. I'm sorry." Rick and I exchanged looks as we were led to some kind of conference room. Everybody then proceeded to get their blood taken and I waited to go last since my wound would take more time to tend to. It was Andrea's turn and she got all snappy about it, but to be honest I didn't blame her. As she was standing up her head must've spun but Jacqui caught her explaining that none of us have eaten in days.

Jenner then led everybody to a big cafeteria telling me to wait in the conference room. I was looking around when I noticed Rick stayed with me. I took a great delight in knowing that he cared about my well being enough to resist the enticing prospect of warm food. I smiled at him and he smiled back. I could see he was relieved that we didn't have to worry about safety anymore.

"We're finally safe. Jenner will patch you up and you're going to be ok. We're all going to be ok," he said as if he was trying to reassure not only me, but himself as well.

"Yeah, this place seems safe. You made the right call," I smiled. He sat next to me and grabbed my hand. I looked up at him a bit startled, but I sure as hell wasn't going to do anything about it.

"You have no idea how good it is to hear someone say it out loud. It sounds even better coming from you," he smiled lazily at me and my heart began to beat so loud I was sure he and everybody in the cafeteria and even every single one of the Walkers outside could hear it.

As if on cue, Jenner opened the door, small suturing kit and few bottles of pills in his hands and told me to sit on a chair with my chest against the backrest. Rick dragged his chair next to me and sat down, his hand on my shoulder caressing me soothingly, while Doctor unpacked all the essentials for surgery. I just sat quietly with my eyes enjoying the warmth of Rick's hand on my arm completely oblivious to the sensation of needle piercing my skin.

"Wow you are probably the first person who's not fussing about me poking them with a needle," Jenner joked.

"Well Doc, if I had a problem with needles I wouldn't look the way I look," I retorted, referring to an extensive tattoo covering my right arm. "Plus the distraction is very effective," I added smirking and nudging my head towards Rick, who chuckled under his breath, the look he sent my way making me blush wildly.

"I guess that's true," said Jenner, putting down the suturing kit and picking up sterile bandage to cover my wound. "It required almost a dozen stitches and it is badly inflamed. I brought you some antibiotics and painkillers. You'll take two pills a day – one in the morning and one in the evening. I also brought some clean bandages so you can redress the wound once a day and don't forget to keep it from getting wet. Here's some plastic and tape to cover it for when you shower." I nodded and wondered if I'd ever enjoy pleasures such as hot shower.

"Thanks Doc, I really appreciate it," I said and packed all the stuff into the top pocket of my backpack. I was standing up to sling it over my shoulder when my head spun, the exhaustion taking its toll on me, and Rick lunged forward to catch me before I could face-plant on the ground. "Dammit," I cursed, hating myself for being the damsel in distress, but was too weak to do anything about it.

"C'mon, let's get you to the cafeteria and get you somethin' to eat," he eased his arm around my body to support me, my backpack and his gear already slung across his shoulder, and set out to follow Jenner and the delicious smell that was coming from the cafeteria, the promise of warm food making our strides quicker.

When we got there, the celebration was in a full swing, countless bottles of booze opened on the table, the delicious smell of pasta making my mouth water. Everybody was laughing on Carl's face as he was getting his first taste of vine. The only one who seemed not amused was Shane. I cracked a smile too, sitting down next to Rick who took seat next to his son, my eyes fixed on the bowl of savory meal in front of us. I grabbed two clean plates and loaded a generous portion for Rick and myself and started to scarf down the heavenly food making humming noises of content. Halfway through my plate I finally looked up, Rick looking at me with amused look on his face and everybody else chuckling under their breath. I laughed myself realizing what I must've looked like mindlessly devouring the dish, the blush rising to my cheeks.

After few minutes of feasting and laughing, Rick stood up clinking a knife on his vine glass and getting everyone to shut up for a moment. "It seems to me we haven't thanked our host properly."

"He is more than just our host," slurred T-dog raising his glass towards Jenner who sat a little bit further quietly observing our celebrating group of survivors. Everybody followed his example and cheered thanking Jenner for giving us a chance.

"Booyah!" Darryl toned, few people copying him, Rick lowering his head in acknowledgement, saying:"Thank you." We all then continued laughing and chatting.

"So when you're gonna tell us what the hell happened here Doc," Shane started, turning his gaze towards Jenner and making everybody quiet down and look at him. "All the… uh… all the other doctors. They were supposed to be figuring out what happened. Where are they?" I glared at him for bringing it up at that moment and ruining the fun. We needed this so bad, but he just couldn't wait a few hours. Douchebag.

"We're celebrating Shane," Rick scolded him lightly sitting back down. "Don't need to do this now."

"Woah, wait a second. That's why we're here right?" Shane countered. He was clearly not happy about the decision to come here. "This was your move… to find all the answers. Instead… we found him." He snorted and pointed his thumb in Jenner's direction. "Found one man. Why?"

Shane's inquiry was followed by silence that was finally broken by Jenner. "Well, when things got bad a lot of people just… left. Went off to be with their families. And when things got worse, when the military cordon got overrun, the rest bolted."

"Every last one?" Shane queried, skeptical look never leaving his face.

"No. Many couldn't face walking out the door. They… opted out." Jenner deadpanned while others were shifting nervously; some were just starring down at the ground. "There was a rash of suicides. That was a bad time."

I felt sorry for the doctor and I started thinking about my family. My thoughts we interrupted by Andrea asking: "You didn't leave. Why?"

"I just kept working. Hoping… to do some good." we all sat there quietly not knowing what to say, the silence in the room growing heavy. Glenn came to sit behind the table huffing at Shane: "Dude you are such a buzz-kill man." I couldn't agree more.

After we ate, Jenner led us through another series of hallways telling us that we'd had to make due here since most of the housing facilities were powered down. He told us not to use anything that draws power and when he mentioned hot water I couldn't believe my ears. Everybody hurried to their rooms eager to get under the scorching hot water. All the doors were shut and the only people left in the hallway were me and Rick. We both looked at the last empty office and then back at each other. My stomach was suddenly full of butterflies and the blush on my face evident. I quickly collected myself mentally cursing myself for being such a stupid head.

"Well… after you roomie," I smirked and gestured for him to come in first. We were both a wee bit drunk. He gave me his best lopsided smile instead and being the gentleman he is, retorted: "Ladies first."

I huffed and rolled my eyes, smile never left my face though, and stepped in, Rick following right behind me. He dropped all our shit on the ground and started to look around the room and then both our eyes shifted to the couch. It was getting awkward with every second so I, being the adult that I am, started towards the couch, plopped myself on it and yelled "Dips!" I immediately regretted my action when the stupid cut in my side reminded itself with a nasty sting.

"Shit, ouch!" I yelped.

"You ok?" Rick asked, concern and amusement battling on his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I picked myself up from the couch, smiling sheepishly.

"Well that's what you get for bein' so inconsiderate towards an old man like me and shamelessly claiming the couch all to yourself." he retorted with that bloody smirk on his face that made me weak in my knees.

"Yeah right, grandpa," I rolled my eyes and threw one of the pillows at him. "Why don't you go get one of the cots, huh?" Rick snorted and threw the pillow back at me and went to look for the storage space. When he came back I told him to go ahead and shower first since I wanted to prepare my change of clothes and the plastic and tape to cover up my freshly stitched cut. I lifted up my shirt trying to reach for the bandage covering it but with no success."Fuckin' hell! This will be the death of me."

"Need some help with that?" Rick called from the bathroom door making me jump.

"Nope, sir. I'm perfectly fine." I retorted still trying to reach the stupid thing, no doubt looking like an idiot and making Rick chuckle under his breath.

"All right scardy-cat. Come here." He turned me around and started peeling of the old bandage. "Better make sure you didn't rip out your stitches with that stunt of yours." He joked and took it off then replaced it with some plastic sheet from Jenner and secured it in place with tape. "When you get out of shower I'll clean and redress it for you. And you should take some of those pills Jenner gave you."

"Ok dad." I said and made a run for the bathroom door shutting it right behind me before he could retaliate. I hated myself for being so childish but I had to get out from his reach or I wouldn't be able to restrain myself. I swear I'm never going to drink again in his presence or I'm afraid of what I might do to him. I started my shower before my mind could wander any further and I would have to exchange the luxury of hot water for cold one instead in order to calm the fuck down.

As I stepped in and felt the first drops of hot water fall down on my skin I couldn't help but giggle from the sensation and started humming Sinking Man from Of Monsters and Men in satisfaction. I washed my body thoroughly not leaving any bit unattended and enjoyed the moment best I could.

After twenty minutes in heaven I was walking back into the room dressed in my favorite flannel shorts and my brother's AC/DC T-shirt, the only thing I had left after him, and bumped into Rick who was returning back from the hallway looking even more drunk than before. He grinned at me and I returned the favor. His smile had always been very contagious.

"Well good evening miss. How was your shower?" he slurred at me making me laugh.

"Quite delightful sir, thank you." I retorted swallowing my pills gulping them down with water. Then I grabbed the clean bandage from the table only to have it snatched from my hand by intoxicated former Officer.

"Here let me." Rick insisted lifting up my T-shirt a bit. I swallowed hard trying to concentrate and asked: "Are you sure you're capable of doing that right now?" I teased.

He chuckled and teased right back: "Please madam, I am more than capable to tend to your injury." I elbowed him into his ribs lightly which made him laugh even harder. He knew I hated when he called me madam. It made me feel old. He peeled off the plastic, cleaned the area with some sterile gauze and put on another clean bandage.

Moments later he was pulling my T-shirt down, but his hands were still lingering on the small of my back making goose bumps rise all over my body, the feeling of his breath on my neck making me weak in my knees. I began to breathe hard and turned around to face him. I looked up into his brilliant orbs biting my lower lip trying to figure out what to do, but my brain refused to cooperate. I looked down and saw him move even closer his hand finding its way to my left cheek and stroking it softly making me look up again. I saw the look on his face – a beautiful mixture of vulnerability and need – and I placed my right hand gently on his chest, my blush turning crimson red. He placed both his hands on either side of my face, lowering his head ever so slightly. I closed my eyes, my breath hitching in my throat with sweet expectation of what was to come and then I felt his lips on mine and I stopped perceiving everything around me except for the sensation of his lips moving against mine and his hands entwined in my hair. For a moment there I forgot where we were, I forgot about everything, I forgot about the death that was still lingering outside. It was a moment of pure magic. He pulled back catching his breath.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," he breathed out and I crushed my lips against his in response, grabbing him by his T-shirt. He hummed into the kiss, pulling me even closer, his hands in my hair and on my back, enveloping me in a crushing embrace.

I heard the door open and we both jumped and turned in the direction looking for the intruder and found Carol staring at us dumbstruck. "Oops... uh… sorry I, uh just wanted to ask if you want to say goodnight to Carl. I'm taking the kids to say prayers and sleep."

"Yeah, sure. Is he here with you? "Rick asked a bit stunned and stepped towards the door and I followed right behind him.

"Goodnight Carl. Sleep well; we don't have to be worried anymore." Rick said with smile on his face, kissing his son on top of his head and ruffling his hair.

"Goodnight dad, goodnight Kiara." Carl said and gave me a hug. I stroked his hair in return and said: "Good night buddy, go get some sleep."

I followed Rick inside, closed the door and rested my head against it, small smile on my face.

"Soo… that was…interesting." he said making me turn around and look at him. He was standing right behind me. I rubbed my foot against my calf staring down at the ground, my nerves getting the best of me.

"Well that's an understatement of a century." I joked. He looked up and smiled sheepishly, his right hand on nape of his neck. Then he pulled me into a tight hug, giving me a chaste kiss and started swaying slightly from side to side. He rested his chin on top of my head and I closed my eyes, my arms clutching at his shirt as I was enjoying the peaceful moment.

"C'mon we should get some sleep," he let go of me and set out to prepare the cot for sleeping. He lied down and patted the mattress next to him for me to join. I hesitated only a moment and then lied next to him on a make-shift bed, cuddled against his chest, his arms wrapped around me. I'd never felt so safe in my entire life. He kissed the top of my head and muttered:"Goodnight Kiara."

"Goodnight Rick." I replied and started to drift into sweet oblivion of a dreamless slumber. Or so I thought.


	5. Chapter 5 - What Lies Ahead

**CHAPTER 5 – WHAT LIES AHEAD**

**Kiara's POV**

Well CDC was a fail, and I mean major, epic fail. We were camped in a warehouse at the outskirts of Atlanta not far away from the highway exit, getting ready to sleep, small fire lighting up the space. No one talked much, everybody was still freaked out from what had transpired at the research facility. I still couldn't believe Jenner would just lock us in and try to barbecue us like that.

The escape from CDC was all blur but when I saw the building being consumed by a massive cloud of fire and I realized we lost another one of our group, I felt like kicking and screaming, but there was no time for that. A huge explosion like that would attract Walkers from miles around and we needed to get as far away from there as possible. We waited for Dale and Andrea to get into the RV, engine already going and Rick at ready. I sat next to him and turned around to check on Andrea. I saw the death glare she was bestowing upon Dale and I didn't blame her but then again I was sure she'd come around and find her will to live. I didn't know her all that well but I felt she was a fighter.

I was lying beside the small fire in room, hugging Carl who was currently huddled against me and sleeping sweetly in spite of everything that was happening around us and my mind wandered to the night at the research facility and the nightmare I woke up from, screaming and crying, no doubt scarring the shit out of Rick.

_I was out hunting that day. We were out of food again and Colin wanted to go, but I shut him down. He'd been keeping night watch for fourth day in a row now and was completely exhausted. We were camped just outside Charlotte with a group of people we stumbled about a week ago - the two couples Charlie and Sara, and Blake and Holly, who were nice and were mostly keeping to themselves. And then there was Phillip, who seemed charming but there was something about him that felt kinda off. He was friendly and helpful but the look in his eyes made my skin crawl every time I caught his gaze. There was something sinister about him but I convinced myself I was just being paranoid._

_I was sneaking through the woods looking through the scope of a rifle Blake lent me trying to find a deer or something to bring back to camp. It was getting darker with every minute, sun setting on the horizon giving me last couple moments of daylight. I sighed, frustrated, slung the rifle back over my shoulder and turned around to head back to the camp empty handed. _

_I heard leaves rustle and looked in the direction it came from half expecting a lone Walker or a wild animal. I reached for the riffle only to have it snatched from my hands and felt its butt collide with my head. I saw stars, the pain blinding me momentarily and I slumped towards the ground. I felt someone grab me and pin me against the nearest tree pressing their body against me and twisting my right arm behind my back trapping me effectively. _

"_Surprise sweetheart," I recognized the voice as Phillip's but before I could react I felt the agonizing pain from a blade being thrust into the left side of my back right under my ribs. I screamed and tried to wriggle myself from his death grip not understanding what the hell was happening. I thrust my head backwards hitting the bastard's nose making him loose his grip on me. I turned around and shoved him. He didn't wait to give me enough time to recollect my wits and lunged towards me. He managed to pin me against the damned tree again with his left hand and tried to finish me off with the knife in his right. The adrenaline kicked in and I pushed with every ounce of strength I had with both my hands against his right one. I kneed him into crotch making him fall down on his knees. I took out my knife from its sheath on my belt and shoved it into his throat. He collapsed to the ground making gurgling noises, stunned expression plastered on his face. I didn't take any chances and took out the knife from his throat and stabbed him again sobbing hysterically and then again and again. I stood up looking for the rifle but couldn't find it in the darkened forest. _

_I knew I had to get back to camp so I patched up my wound with the sleeve of my shirt. It took me a while to find my way back but I wasn't prepared for what was waiting for me there. I stepped into the clearing, the small fire dying slowly casting ominous light on the scene lying in front of me. There were four bodies scattered across the area, lifeless, adorned with bloody stains. The horror creeping into my heart made me sink to my knees and retch my guts out. After I collected myself I realized Colin wasn't there and the mixture of relief and fright overwhelmed me. I called out his name but got no response. _

_I started to search the clearing panic rising in my throat. I was running around franticly and as I reached the bushes surrounding the clearing I tripped over something and planted face down on the ground in a pool of sticky liquid. I picked myself up and looked back only to find my brother – dead. The sight of his lifeless bloodstained corpse made me scream in horror and cry hysterically. The last thing I remember was clutching my dead brother's hand and slowly slumping towards the ground._

**Rick's POV**

I was taking watch on the roof of the warehouse contemplating the events of the day. We barely got out of CDC alive and decided to try for Fort Benning after all. I still didn't think it was a good idea to drive through over a hundred miles of hostile territory but I chose not to say anything. I had other things on my mind. I finally found out what happened to Colin and it was tearing my heart to pieces.

_I woke up that night at the CDC, startled, to a blood curdling scream and Kiara wrestling in my arms and crying, clearly having some kind of nightmare. I had to shake her hard to wake her and when she finally did I could see a mixture of terror and sorrow in her teary eyes. She looked around confused, still weeping silently._

"_Kiara, are you ok?" I rubbed her shoulder soothingly as she started wiping the tears away. _

"_Yeah, I'm fine I guess," before I could ask her anything else, the door to our room bolted open, entering Daryl with his crossbow half expecting Walkers chewing on our faces, and right behind him Shane and Lori, the last two people I wanted to see me and Kiara in one bed. _

"_What the hell's going on?" barked Daryl clearly pissed that we woke him up from his drunken slumber._

"_Nothin' I just… just had a nightmare is all," Kiara answered not really looking at anybody. "I'm sorry I woke y'all up."_

_Daryl rolled his eyes and went back to his room leaving Shane and Lori standing in the doorway looking at Kiara sitting on the cot with her feet down and me still half lying half sitting behind her, rubbing her shoulder. _

"_Well… uh… I'm glad you're fine then," said Shane looking down. He turned around on his heels and started towards his room, dragging Lori who hadn't said a word just starring at us with her mouth hung open, and shut the door behind them._

_I got up to bring Kiara some water to drink and asked her what the nightmare was about. I could see she didn't want to talk about it, but I had to know._

"_C'mon, tell me. It will ease your mind if you tell me about it." She looked down and whispered:"It was about Colin… the night he got killed." _

"_What happened Kiara?" I pushed. I had to know what it was. It clearly had to be something awful if it was giving her nightmares like that._

_She started to weep silently and then told me everything. When she was nearing the end I felt like throwing up. It was way worse than I expected._

"_I woke up few hours later huddled against my brother's body. I must have passed out. I started to perceive the world around me again only to find a dozen of Walkers feeding on Holly and others. Luckily they hadn't discovered me and my brother's body yet but I knew it was only a matter of time. I had to leave immediately. I quickly ran into the shadows of the forest and snuck up to my truck. I jumped in and drove away, few of them started to follow me but I shook them easily enough. I had to get away from there… I… I didn't even have time to burry my own brother. I had to leave him there for Walkers… to feed on. I couldn't burry my own brother Rick. I'll never forgive myself for leaving him there." _

_She started to cry harder and it wouldn't take much for me to follow her. I hugged her tight letting her cry out all her anguish, stroking her back soothingly._

"_Kiara, he was dead and there was nothin' you could do to help him. You had to do what was necessary to survive. Let it go," I said. It was all I could say at that moment. I lied there, soothing her, trying to ease her pain thinking about everything she had to go through to find us and it made me murderous. If I'd managed to get my hands on that fuckin' creep I'd do unspeakable things to that perverted piece of shit._

"_It's terrible to see what the world's come to, what the people in this world became to be," I said trying to distract my mind from pointless revenge fantasies._

"_No Rick," Kiara retorted. "People like him, people like Phillip; they were fucked up long before the shit hit the fan. This world just made it easier for them to run free and do whatever their fucked up minds thought of doing."_

"_I guess you're right," I sighed. _

"So what's the plan for tomorrow?" asked Daryl as he was stepping out on the roof shaking me out of my thoughts.

"Well for starters, we should try to siphon as much fuel as we can from the cars they have parked in the garage, maybe find some food and water and then head for the Fort Benning," I said. "Where's Shane?"

"He sent me here to keep watch with you, said he'd take the back," murmured Daryl. I shrugged and said nothing. I didn't mind really. Lately I've felt like there was an abyss growing between the two of us, like there was something he wasn't telling me. I had my suspicions but I decided to let it go for the time being.

I propped myself on the railing scanning the surroundings for potential threats but it was a quiet night. My thoughts wandered to Morgan and Duane and whether they were all right. I was slowly losing hope that there was anybody listening to me rambling into the walkie-talkie but I made a promise and I wasn't willing to break it, to let go so easily.

**Kiara's POV**

The dawn came by sooner than I'd wish and it was time to get back on the road. I had my gear all packed and loaded in the Cherokee and was heading up the stairs to the roof to check on Rick and I bumped into Daryl on my way up.

"Hey, how was the night?" I asked.

"Quiet. Quieter than I thought it'd be," he said, exhaustion written all over his face. "Go ahead, he's still there." He nudged his head towards the roof entrance smirking and then went down to pack up.

I walked out on the roof and saw Rick crouching, the walkie-talkie in his right hand. I didn't want to disturb him so I just stood there and listened to his troubled speech.

"I guess I'm losin' hope that you can hear me, but there's always that chance, isn't there? That slim chance. It's all about slim chances now. I tried to do everythin' right… keep people safe. I tried Morgan… I tried. Our group's smaller now. We lost another… day before last. It was her choice. I won't say I blame her… she lost faith."

He stood up and walked towards the edge, still not noticing me. "The CDC was a dead end. I met a man there, a scientist. He told me somethin'… he told me… it doesn't matter. What matters is, we're movin' on. Atlanta's done. We're gonna try for Fort Bennin'. We're facin' a long hard journey, maybe even harder than I can imagine. But it can't be harder than the journey's been so far can it? A hundred twenty-five miles, that's what lies ahead… and I'm tryin' hard not to lose faith… I can't. If I do, the others… my family… Carl… Kiara… There's just a few of us now, so we gotta stick together, fight for each other, be willin' to lay down our lives for each other if it comes to that… it's the only chance we've got."

"Be careful out the Morgan. I hope you and Duane're ok. Stay of the road, keep movin', keep your eyes open. I don't know, just… just be safe. Maybe we'll see you in Fort Bennin' someday… Rick signin' off." He turned around slightly startled by my presence. I walked towards him.

"Sorry, didn' mean to eavesdrop," I said and smiled.

"It's ok," he said and pulled me into a tight embrace, kissing the top of my head.

We hadn't even had a chance to talk about what happened between us at the CDC, but then again there wasn't much to talk about. We kissed, we cuddled, we slept in one bed together and neither of us seemed to regret it.

The sun was rising over the buildings and we just stood there watching it illuminating the city that belonged to the dead now and wondered what was waiting for us on the road, our hearts uneasy yet still full of hope.


	6. Chapter 6 - Highway To Hell

_**Author´s note: So we are six chapters in, enjoy this one and let me know what you think so far. Any feedback is appreciated :-)**_

**CHAPTER 6 – HIGHWAY TO HELL**

**Kiara's POV**

Our caravan was moving at an unnervingly slow pace making everybody uneasy. We were short on food and water. I was still riding in Cherokee along with Rick, Carl, Carol and Sophia while others were in RV leading the way. Daryl ditched his truck long time ago in favor of his chopper.

I looked over at Rick behind the wheel with a thoughtful expression on his face. I could tell he was worried. He was struggling to keep everybody safe. The stress of having to look out for people, to make the right calls was definitely taking its toll on him. I wowed to myself to be there for him and do everything to ease his troubled mind because he was the one keeping us safe, alive and because I was falling hopelessly in love with the man, even though I wasn't going to admit that to myself at the time.

"Remember when we went to the ZOO?" I asked trying to lighten the mood a bit.

Rick chuckled heartily, that gorgeous smile finally reappearing on his troubled face lightening his beautiful eyes with amusement. "You mean when that big-ass parrot took a giant crap on your shoulder? That was precious." We all burst out laughing.

"Well yeah, I wasn't referring specifically to that unfortunate event but I must admit it was hilarious."

"I'll say. I never thought you were capable of acting so girly and jumping around 'n' shrieking like it was going to eat you," Rick continued mocking me. I turned around at Carl who was laughing his little ass off and tried to change the subject. "And what did you enjoy there most, buddy?"

"You mean besides the parrot crap on your shoulder?" He joked, making everybody chuckle again, earning him a playful glare from me. He beamed at me. "I really liked the rhinos."

**Rick's POV**

The caravan started to slow down. There were abandoned cars obstructing the road making it seem impossible to move through. Everybody in the car was shifting nervously hoping we would find a way out of this mess.

"I think I see a way through," Daryl yelled as he was turning around his bike. I sighed in relief not wanting to spend one second more than necessary on that godforsaken highway. We were moving slowly through the mess when the RV's hose broke down again and the caravan was forced to stop. We all jumped out of the car to see what happened. I checked my Python and Kiara grabbed her katana from the trunk.

"Problem Dale?" Shane inquired.

"Just the small matter of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no hope of…" Dale looked around and muttered somewhat amused:"Ok, that was dumb."

"Can't find a radiator hose here?" Shane retorted.

"Whole bunch of stuff we could find," Darryl commented rummaging through the open trunk of the nearest car.

"Siphon more fuel from these cars for a start," T-dog added.

"Maybe some water," Carol asked hopefully holding Sophia close to her.

"Food?" Glenn joined in.

"This is a graveyard," Lori said making everybody uncomfortable. "I don't know how I feel about this," she added. I heard Kiara's frustrated huff next to me and I could almost see her rolling her eyes in irritation. Lori turned to her, and asked:"Problem Kiara?" sending the fierce redhead her best death glare that became a regularly recurring thing ever since the night at the CDC.

"I don't how about you Lori, but right now my feelings could be summed up into words such as hunger, thirst, etcetera," Kiara deadpanned before I could stop her. "These people are dead and it sucks but we're still alive, right here, right now, and we need food and water and fuel. Unless you are willing to walk all the way to Fort Benning, which I'm not. We're not harming anybody by taking this stuff. So do us all favor and get over yourself." Kiara added and walked towards the cars.

The others stood there for a while, dumbstruck, but then followed Kiara's example and started to look around for stuff worth grabbing, Lori glaring in Kiara's direction probably in shock from being told off by a girl ten years younger than her. I took out my trusty riffle from the duffel bag and scanned the surroundings through binoculars once more then handed them to Dale who started to climb up the RV to keep watch while Glenn and Shane looked for a fitting hose. I walked towards Kiara who was rooting through a nearby car.

"I forgot you're the firecracker," I teased making her huff at me. I looked at her to see if I was in trouble but she was smiling.

"Well I'm sorry I yelled at your ex-wife like that but we're sitting ducks here on this stupid highway. There's no time for being a condescending bitch right now." I chuckled under my breath and put my hand on the nape of her neck pulling her closer. She leaned into me pressing the top of her head against my chest. It was simple gestures of affection like that one that made me falling slowly but definitely in love with the young woman.

"Ok. I should go check out other cars before Lori makes me choke to death with the Force," Kiara joked. I laughed at her Star Wars reference and went away to take watch along with Dale.

**Kiara's POV**

I was delving through another car when I heard Glenn and Shane laughing and yelping with joy as they discovered a truck full of five gallon water jugs. I laughed along and continued my work. I was stacking some canned goods on the road next to a car when I heard Rick holler.

"Kiara! Under the cars!" I turned around to see the biggest group of Walkers, I've ever seen heading in our direction. I grabbed Carl who was walking past me with more cans in his hands and shoved him under the car telling him to stay silent and following right behind him. I pulled him close to me and took out my knife. I looked to my right to see Rick ducking under the car then turned around to see Carol and Lori lying under a big van. I looked back at Rick who was looking at Sophia. She was under the car to my left and Rick was trying to calm her from the distance signaling her to stay quiet. I had no idea where the rest of the group was but I hoped they were hidden as well.

As I laid under the car, hugging Carl tight to me, it seemed as if the time decided to run on a slower pace as the stream of crawling corpses everywhere around us appeared to be endless. Their strides accompanied by the distinctive smell, mindless shuffling of feet and moaning. I looked back at Rick, our gazes locked. We were both scared shitless. I just hoped it would be over soon and that everyone was all right.

And then it was over and everyone was looking around trying to determine if it was safe to climb back from under the cars. The silence was cut off by Sophia's terrified shriek. I saw her get from under the car and run into the woods followed by two belated Walkers. As I was climbing from under the car I saw Rick run into the woods following Sophia and Walkers.

"Carl! Go to your mom and stay with her!" I ordered him and sprinted towards the spot where I saw Rick disappear into the thick flora. I was running along the creek and saw Rick knocking down one of the Walkers with a huge piece of rock, smashing its head into smithereens. The second Walker was getting too close to him so I lunged forward and sliced its head right off with my sword.

"You're quite handy with that thing," he said appreciatively.

"Why thank you sir," I toned and gave him a hand lifting him up from the ground. "Where's Sophia?"

"I left her hidden in the creek bed." He said still catching his breath. "Let's go get her." We both started towards the spot Rick left Sophia but when we got back she wasn't there. We ran quickly to the highway hoping she'd done as Rick said and went back to the others, but she wasn't there either.

"You sure this is the spot?" Daryl questioned looking at Rick. We were back at the creek along with Shane and Glenn.

"I left her right there," Rick said and pointed ahead of him. "I drew the Walkers away off in that direction up the creek."

"She was gone by the time we got back here," I added looking around. "We figured she just took off and ran back to the group."

"I told her go that way and keep the sun on her left shoulder," Rick continued insistently. I came up behind him and put my hand on his shoulder soothingly.

"Hey, Short Round!" Daryl barked at Glenn. "Would you step off to one side? You're mucking up the trail!"

"Assuming she knows her left from her right," Shane chimed in skeptically. I glared at him. That was really not helping.

"Shane she understood me fine," Rick retorted, frustrated.

"Kid's tired and scared, man. She had at 'er close call two Walkers. Kinda wonder how much of what you said stuck," Shane argued.

"Got clear prints right here," Daryl called. "She did like you said 'n' headed back to the highway."

I sighed in relief and followed the men away from the creek, my katana at ready. We followed her trail up to the point where it stopped turning abruptly in another direction. Rick told me to get back up to the highway with Shane and Glenn but I refused.

"I'm going with you, end of discussion," I cut him off.

We followed the trail some more until Rick stated the tracks were gone.

"They faint. They ain't gone," Daryl stated. "She came through here."

"How can you tell?" Rick questioned fascinated. "I don't see anything. Dirt, grass… "

"You wanna lesson in tracking or you wanna find that girl 'n' get our ass off that interstate?" Rick motioned for me to go behind Daryl and followed me, sufficiently silenced on the matter. I turned around and smiled at him reassuringly.

A rustle of leaves alerted us to a presence of a lone Walker making us all crouch down in haste. Rick gestured for me to stay hidden and ran into the Walker's view whistling sharply to get its attention. The Walker growled but before he could take one more step towards Rick, collapsed to the ground with one of Daryl's arrows jammed in its head.

"Sophia!" Daryl called out into thick bushes surrounding us. No response.

"What're you doing?" I asked Rick as I saw him put on a pair of gloves and kneeling over the corpse.

"Skin under the fingernails," he told me. "He fed recently," he said and fear chilled me to my core. "There's flesh caught in his teeth."

"Yeah but what kind of flesh?" Daryl questioned.

"Only one way to find out," Rick said and ripped the Walker's shirt open.

"Christ," I muttered feeling the bile rise in my stomach as I realized what they were about to do. When Daryl pulled out his hunting knife and thrust it into the rotting corpse I opted for keeping an eye on our surroundings because the alternative was to retch my guts out. I tried hard to tune out the sound of ripping flesh and guys' disgusted groans but there was nothing I could do about the nauseous smell rising from the gutted Walker.

"This is so fucked up," I muttered weakly trying not to puke. Both Daryl and Rick stopped their administrations and looked up at me questioningly. "I mean, I understand why we're doing this but still… It's pretty fucked up." Guys got back to the task at hand and when Rick cut open the stomach to examine its content I had to step away and propped myself against the tree breathing hard.

After few minutes I felt Rick squeeze my shoulder saying: "We're done here. It's gettin' dark; we should head back up to the highway, c'mon." He wrapped his right arm around my shoulders and we set out to reconnect with our group.

**Rick' POV**

When Carol saw us coming out of the woods without her daughter she burst into tears.

"You didn't find her?!"

"Her trail went cold," I said helping Kiara climb over the guardrail. "We'll pick it up again, first light."

"You can't leave my daughter out there on her own… to spend the night, alone in the woods!" Carol cried tears streaming down her face looking for someone to blame.

"Hunting in the dark's good," Daryl chimed in, trying to calm her down, but without any success. "We'd just be trippin' over ourselves. More people get lost."

"He's right," Kiara said, stepping up for me, earning an incredulous look from Lori. I glared at her. I was becoming more and more tired of her bullshit.

"But she's twelve! She can't be out there on her own! You didn't find anything!" Carol cried hysterically looking around shifting her teary eyes from one to another.

"I know this is hard but I'm asking you not to panic," I looked at Carol pleadingly. "We know she was out there."

"We tracked her for a while," Daryl chimed in, stepping forward, trying to help calm the distressed woman down.

"We have to make this an organized effort," Kiara said. I nodded and reasoned. "Daryl knows the woods better than anybody. I've asked him to oversee this."

"Is that blood?" Carol gasped pointing at Daryl's pants. I told her we took down a Walker and assured her there was no sign it was anywhere near Sophia. When Andrea asked how we could possibly know that, we all exchanged looks, Daryl answering her question:"We cut the son of a bitch open 'n' made sure." Carol sat down on a guardrail, suddenly feeling faint. Then she looked up at me accusation written all over her face and my heart sank at her following words: "How could you just leave her out there to begin with? How could you just leave her?!"

"Those two Walkers were on us," I said. "I, I had to draw them off, it was her best chance."

"He's right Carol," Kiara chimed in. "How could he possibly deal with two Walkers and defend Sophia at the same time? There's no way they would make it out alive and you know it." God bless her, at least I had her on my side. Well her and Daryl.

"Sounds like he didn't have a choice, Carol," Shane added.

"How's she supposed to find a way back on her own? She's just a child! She's just a child!" Carol cried completely ignoring all of our arguments. I knelt before her pleading, trying desperately to reason with her, to make her understand that it was our only option, our only chance to survive but without any success. Even Lori who was sitting right next to Carol was giving me a look of disbelief.

"I'm sure nobody doubts that," Shane said, but it sure as hell didn't seem that way.

"My little girl got left in the woods," Carol cried. I shook my head frustrated and rose to my feet looking around at all the accusing faces looking back at me. I couldn't take it anymore and started to walk away from the group. I stopped only when I was out of their sight and smashed my hand on the hood of the nearest car in frustration. I felt a hand on my shoulders and I turned around abruptly grabbing it, my other hand reaching for my Python thinking it was yet another Walker but then I realized it was Kiara.

"It's okay. It's just me," she cooed looking a bit startled her eyes calm though. "You made the right call Rick. I know it, you know it, and they know it too even if they didn't say it. I don't know if anybody could do it any differently. You're their leader and being blamed when shit like this happens is unfortunately part of a package. It sucks but it is what it is. Sooner or later they will realize what you're doing for them, what you've been doing all along and they will be eternally grateful for it."

"I know how you feel, I really do; and believe me if I could do anything to make you feel better I'd do it without a moment's hesitation, I would, I…" I cut her off mid-sentence pulling her into tight embrace and kissing her passionately, putting all my feelings into it. I needed to hold her, to feel her warm body against mine, to make sure she's still on my side, that she stands behind me no matter what.

As if she knew what I was feeling she snaked her arms around my neck and pushed herself even tighter against me and right there, right at that moment despite everything that was going on I felt peaceful and I knew it was going to be all right.


	7. Chapter 7 - Hopes And Prayers

_**AUTHOR´S NOTE: Here´s another update for you lovely people. I hope you´re enjoying this story so far. I have big plans with it in the future. **_

_**As usual feel free to share your thoughts and subscribe. Any feedback is appreciated :-)**_

**CHAPTER 7 – HOPES AND PRAYERS**

**Rick's POV**

I knew I wouldn't sleep that night so I decided to keep watch on top of the RV instead. I sat in one of the lawn chairs and scanned the surroundings. Everything was quiet and illuminated by the light of the moon. I sighed and rubbed my temples replaying the events of the day wondering if I could've done anything differently. I turned around when I heard someone climbing up to the roof. It was Kiara, her sword and a small linen bag slung across her body.

"Good evening Sheriff," soft smile on her face as she greeted me and sat down in the second chair beside me.

"Good evening miss," I played along.

"I come bearing gifts," she unpacked two cans of tuna fish and handed me one. "C'mon, you need to eat somethin'."

"Kiara," I started wanting to tell her how I felt but chickened out.

"What is it Rick?" she asked with genuine curiosity. I just sat there looking into her beautiful eyes marveling at how the moonlight made her skin glow. She'd always had beautifully pale complexion but these last days spent mostly outside on the sun gave her a slight tan making a few lovely freckles appear on her cheeks.

"Hello? Earth calls Officer Grimes!" she toned bringing me back to reality. I looked back at her, that brilliant smile plastered on her face, and took the can from her.

"I just… I wanted to thank you. Not only for today, for sticking your neck out for me, but for everything, for being there for me every time. I don't know what I'd do without you by my side. You have no idea how much it means to me. So just… thank you," I smiled at her hoping she would understand.

"You're welcome," she smiled back. "I told you I'm here for you, no matter what."

**Kiara's POV**

The sun was up high when we finally gathered in front of the RV and Rick was handing out weapons Carl found in one of the cars the other day, everybody was getting ready. I was wearing my black harem sweatpants along with black tank top and my black combat boots (guess what my favorite color is, right?) my katana slung across my body and my smaller leopard print backpack with a little bit of food and water and a few spare clips of ammo slung over it. I checked my handgun and put it back into my holster belt along with my hunting knife and I was ready to go.

"These aren't the kind of weapons we need." said Andrea pointing at the assorted blades laid down on the car hood. "What about the guns?" she demanded. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"We've been over that. Daryl, Rick, Kiara and I are carryin'." Shane shot her down.

"How come Kiara's carryin'?" Andrea argued pointing in my direction.

"My dad was a cop. The gun was a gift from him and it came with an extensive training," I retorted trying hard not to sound annoyed.

"Exactly, y'all need a proper trainin', but until then…" Rick reasoned.

"Can't have people poppin' out rounds every time a tree rustles," Shane explained.

"It's not the trees I'm worried about," Andrea retaliated not wanting to give up so easily.

"Say somebody fires at the wrong moment 'n' herd happens to be passin' by. Now that is game over for all of us. So you need to get over it" I chimed in, in hopes to end this pointless conversation.

Rick then proceeded to tell everybody how we were going to do this while people finished getting ready and instructing Dale to continue his repairs so we could get out of there as soon as we find Sophia and asking him to keep an eye on Carl. The little man wanted to go with us of course and with a little help from Dale, managed to get his own way.

We were walking through the thick Georgian woods scouring our surroundings for anything familiar. Daryl and Rick were leading the way with Carol and Andrea right behind them followed by me and Glenn.

"So how do you know Rick anyway? You two seem quite close," Glenn inquired.

"Well I moved to house right next to his about six months before all this happened. We became friends, I met Carl and we hung out together a lot. I guess you can say we grew fond of each other but weren't at that point to do somethin' about it. Plus I knew Rick was still kinda gettin' over his divorce and the last thing I would wanna do was to push him. Then he got shot and I had to leave for Boston because my mom died. Then the dead started walkin' around and the rest, as they say, is history." I chuckled, slightly nervous, because I knew everybody was listening. Well almost everybody seeing as Lori was a little behind us talking to Carl who looked somewhat sad.

Our conversation was cut short by Rick gesturing for us to get down while Shane, Daryl and he searched the tent we stumbled upon. I moved next to Carol and crouched down beside her, my hand on the handle of my katana ready to lunge forward if anything happened. Daryl moved forward first, his crossbow at ready, followed by Rick and Shane. They both had their guns ready to fire. He lowered his crossbow and raised his hunting knife sneaking closer to the tent trying to peek inside to see if he could make anything out. Rick called Carol over to him and told her to call out to Sophia softly.

"Sophia? Sweetie, are you in there? Sophia, it's mommy," she called out hopefully. "Sophia, we're all here, baby. It's mommy." Darryl snuck up to the front of the tent grabbing the zipper and started to pull it back, Shane and Rick close behind him. When he pulled back the flap, he was overwhelmed with a disgusting smell coming from decaying corpse inside. The men coughed and gagged at the smell, Daryl stepping in to check it out and coming out after few moments.

"Ain't her," the redneck announced.

"What's in there?" Andrea asked.

"Some guy… did what Jenner said, opted out. Ain't that what he called it?" Daryl retorted.

The silence was broken by the sound of church bells ringing in the distance and we all bolted towards where we thought it was coming from, everybody's hearts full of hope. We ran out of the forest to a clearing with a church surrounded by a graveyard. Everybody was looking around cautiously.

"That can't be it. Got no steeple, no bells," Shane murmured. "Rick!" he called out, exasperated, but Rick was halfway to the church not listening to him. I had a problem to keep up with him and I used to run five miles every day before all this.

We gathered in front of the church door, Rick, Daryl, Shane and I took our positions, Rick signaling us to be quiet then he and Daryl pushed the door open. We slowly walked in to find four stranded Walkers and set out to get rid of them. I reached for my katana and with one swift movement cut of the head of a really nasty looking zombie preacher man then ran it through its eye, finishing it off, and watched the men killing their assigned targets, smashing their heads in with numerous brutal strokes of their blades.

"SOPHIA!" Rick yelled and checked the door to his right for any other lurkers, but found nothing.

"Yo, JC…you takin' requests?" Daryl asked ironically, making me snort. I wasn't much of a believer.

"I'm tellin' you it's the wrong church. It's got no steeple Rick. There's no steeple," Shane insisted but was cut off by a sound of church bells. Everybody rushed out to see where it was coming from but it was just a speaker set on timer.

Carol announced she was going to go back in for a while and a few people from the group followed her. I chose to stay outside and slumped against the church wall enjoying the cool sensation of a shadow and drank some of my water.

"Mind if I join you?" I turned my head to see Andrea sitting next to me. I offered her some dried fruit I found in one of the cars on the highway.

"So how're you fellin'?" I asked. "I mean, with everything goin' on. Are you okay?"

"I don't know," she said. "I wish I had answer to that question but I don't."

"I'm sorry. I heard what happened to your sister. I know how you feel. I lost my brother too," I said.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Was it Walkers?" she inquired.

"Not exactly," I said earning a questioning look from the blonde. "I mean, it was after the outbreak, but it wasn't Walkers. One member of a group we stayed with near Charlotte turn out to be a real psycho. He murdered everyone in the camp, stabbed them all to death and then attacked me too when I was out huntin'. I killed him in defense and returned to the camp to find everybody, including my brother, slaughtered like animals." I turned away to wipe off a few stray tears from my face, and smiled lightly at the horrified woman.

"But!" I started to get up. "I haven't given up and nor should you."

"Why?" asked Andrea, doubtfully.

"Well even though world went to shit we can still find things that bring us joy," Andrea looked at me skeptically, but I stood my ground. "There's still room left for good things. I lost my family and I will never stop missing them, but I found Rick and Carl and I met you amazing people."

"Well that's all nice and lovely but I don't see anything good coming my way. No light at the end of the tunnel, you know?" she retorted.

"I know that feeling all too well. But trust me, it gets better eventually. I mean, the pain will never go fully away, but you'll learn to make a room for it." I smiled at her and held out my hand to help her stand up. We started to walk towards the church door when we happened to overhear the end of an exchange between Shane and Lori.

"You can't do this to me Lori. You can't just ditch me after everything we've been through, after everything I've done for you… Carl." despair and frustration clear in his hushed voice.

"Shane just…let me be," Lori pleaded. "Whatever this was… it's over." Then she walked back inside.

I stood there completely dumbstruck, not being able to move at all. Andrea started to drag me back to the shadows but Shane noticed us sending his best death glare our way and walked away, clearly pissed.

"I guess that comes as quite a surprise for you huh?" Andrea asked assuming I wasn't aware of the open secret of the camp. I gaped at her, bewildered.

"Everybody knows? How long has this been goin' on?" I started sputtering. "And Rick? Does he know that his best friend is, or was shacking up with his ex-wife?"

"Yes, everybody knows, they were quite obvious," Andrea answered. "Back at the camp? Lori going to look for mushrooms not a minute after Shane decides to go hunting…"

"And Rick?" I repeated my question. "Does he know?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe he suspects somethin's goin' on… I don't know for sure."

I went to sit on the stairs, trying to process everything I just learned and few minutes later Rick and the others were coming out and gathering under a big tree. I saw Rick having quite a heated discussion with Shane about something and my stomach twisted. Do I tell him? And how do I tell him something like that? I was truly conflicted at that moment. I didn't want to withhold anything from him but I also didn't want to tell him such news. I decided to think about it later and joined the group.

"Y'all gonna follow the creek bed back, ok? Daryl you're in charge." Shane announced. "Me and Rick we're just gonna hang back 'n' search this area another hour just to be thorough."

"Splittin' us up? You sure?" Daryl questioned.

"Yeah, we'll catch up to you," Shane replied.

"I wanna stay too," Carl chipped in. "I'm her friend," he announced proudly and my heart swelled. He was such a good kid – kind, brave and loyal.

Rick and Shane both shrugged and exchanged looks and Lori stepped forward to her son: "Just be careful okay?"

"I will," Carl promised. She then hugged him and kissed the top of his head, asking more herself than Carl: "When did you start growing up?" I felt sadness come over me when I realized I'd never have a chance to go through stuff like this with my own children, but I shook it off.

Rick walked up to me and hugged me, saying: "We'll be along soon enough."

I pushed him a little, questioning look on my face:"If you think I'm not going with you then the sun must have fried your brain off even with that hat on." I retaliated earning a sigh from him.

"I'll keep an eye on Carl so you and Shane can concentrate on scouring the woods for Sophia," I reasoned. Rick sighed defeated and then tried to give his Python to Lori which she refused.

"I'm not takin' your gun and leavin' you unarmed," that was probably the first reasonable words I heard coming from her mouth. Yeah, I didn't like her either – especially after what I learned earlier that day.

"Here," Daryl chimed in. "Got a spare. Take it." He handed her the gun. Andrea scoffed and rolled her eyes in disbelief. She looked at me and I nodded at her as we split up and went in different directions.

I noticed Rick headed back for the church saying it will only be a minute while Shane and Carl sat on the church steps. I leaned against the tree and waited but then I heard footsteps and saw Shane approaching. I knew the topic of our conversation before he even opened his mouth.

"So… 'bout earlier today," he looked down not knowing how to phrase things and I sure as hell wasn't going to help him.

"What about it?" I inquired.

"You damn well know what I'm talkin' about!" he raised his voice making me glare at him warningly. He calmed down a bit and continued: "I… are you goin' to tell him?" he motioned his head towards church.

"No," I replied. "That's not for me to tell. That's on you and Lori. It's none of my business anyway. I got enough on my plate as it is and I don't need to deal with your bullshit as well."

He looked at me relieved, but there was an obvious threat behind his voice: "I'm glad we understand each other then." He said nothing else on the subject and walked back to Carl. What the hell happened with this guy? He used to be nice and fun to hang out with but now… I shuddered, having a bit of a blast from the past but I had to let it go because Rick was coming out of the church and heading my way followed by Carl and Shane.

"C'mon," he squeezed my shoulder and started walking beside me, troubled expression never leaving his face.

We were scouring the woods for quite a while when we heard leaves rustle, which made Rick and Shane reach for their guns. I shoved Carl behind me, my hand shot up to my sword and then we saw it. A beautiful deer was making its way through thick woods, carefully scanning its surroundings. I saw Carl move from behind me towards the majestic creature, then looking back at Rick, who nodded at him encouragingly. I smiled at his face expression, eyes wide in amazement and mouth hung open in awe. He moved closer to the buck snapping a twig on the ground and alerting the animal to his presence, but nothing happened. It just stood there and stared back at Carl. It was a beautiful moment, peaceful. And then not a second later my ears were ringing from a single shot and I saw Carl lying on the ground, blood soaking through his shirt, and Rick crying in utter horror.

"Oh, no! No, no, no! NO!"


	8. Chapter 8 - History Repeating

**AUTHOR´S NOTE: _So we have a little flashback chapter ahead of us. Thought you might enjoy a little pre-apocalyptic Rick - Kiara interaction. Let me know what you think and whether you would like more flashbacks in future chapters :-)_**

**CHAPTER 8 – HISTORY REPEATING**

**Kiara's POV**

„How far?! How far?!" I yelled hysterically at the obese man, who shot Carl and was running and panting few feet behind us, Shane pulling him along. I was running right next to Rick, who was carrying unconscious Carl in his hands, crying and slowing down to adjust his grip on him. I barely saw through the tears streaming down my face.

"Half-mile! That way! H-Hershel! Talk to Hershel! He'll help your boy!" we didn't wait around and quickened our pace. It seemed like we were running forever when a big white farmhouse came into view. Rick was seriously out of breath at that point so I just ripped Carl from his hands, which was very hard to do because of the death grip he had on his son, and ran towards the main entrance, Rick following close behind me. I noticed a girl calling for somebody, then ran inside to get them. As we approached the farm, five people, three women and two men, stepped out on the front porch.

"Was he bit?" the older man at us. We approached them carefully, Rick answering his question: "Shot… By your man!"

"Otis?!" an older blonde woman asked incredulously while the older man ran down the stairs to have a look at Carl.

"He said find Hershel. Is that you?!" I asked out of breath. He nodded. My eyes then fell on a young woman with light brown short hair and I recognized her as my old college roommate and friend Maggie. We looked at each other, stunned, bud there was no time for that now.

"Help us! Help my boy!" Rick cried as we followed Hershel inside, the old man barking orders at everybody. We stepped into a bedroom and I laid Carl down on the bed, Rick standing behind me, not knowing what to do with himself and muttering the same question over and over again: "He alive? Is he alive?" I followed Hershel's instructions and made a pad of a pillowcase pressing it down on Carl's wound. Rick was now hovering over me still asking the same question.

"I've got a heartbeat." Hershel announced making me release breath I didn't realize I was holding then told me to step away asking about our names.

"R-R-Rick. I'm, I, I'm R-Rick." he stuttered. "Kiara," I muttered.

"Rick, we're gonna do everything we can, ok?" Hershel said reassuringly. "You need to give us some room."

I dragged Rick out of the room to the front porch just as Shane and the obese man were catching up to us.

"He's alive? He's still alive?" Otis inquired desperately, panting and wheezing. Rick didn't answer and tried to wipe the sweat of his forehead but ended up with a bloody stain across his face instead. Shane, not being able to utter a single coherent word reached inside his backpack for a rag and handed it to me to wipe Rick's face off. I looked into his eyes as I did so and the look on his face broke my heart into pieces and tears started to roll down my face again.

"Where is he?" Shane finally asked and we went back in closely followed Shane and Otis.

"You know his blood type?" Hershel asked as we stepped in.

"A-positive, same as mine," Rick obliged.

"Mine too," I said, glad that I could help in some way.

"That's fortunate," Hershel answered. "Don't wander far; I'm goin' to need you. Both of you," he added making me look at him and then on Maggie. She looked back at me and we nodded and smiled at each other.

"Hi roomie," I said, small smile gracing my lips.

"Hi Kiara," Maggie retorted smiling back at me.

"You two know each other?" Shane inquired.

"We were college roommates," I said, Maggie nodding her head and fiddling with an IV bag trying to attach it to a lamp.

"What happened?" Hershel inquired towards Otis, cutting our short exchange short.

We were sitting in a living room of some sort, waiting for Hershel to come out, Shane and I sitting next to Rick.

"Why'd I let him come with us? I should've sent him with Lori," Rick questioned, blaming himself for everything as usual.

"You know, you start that, you never get that monkey off your back," Shane retorted.

"Shane's right Rick. You just can't blame yourself for what happened to Carl. You couldn't prevent something like this from happening," I added, trying hard to reason with him but I knew very well it was futile.

"Little girls goes missing, you look for her. Simple," Rick said completely oblivious to our words. "You said call it, head back," he continued beating himself up.

"Don't matter what I said," Shane muttered under his breath looking down on the floor.

"Carl got shot because of me, because I wouldn't listen. It should be me in there." he insisted.

"You've been there Rick, remember?" I chimed in not being able to listen to his repentance anymore and my mind wandered back to one of the worst days of my life.

_I dropped by the police station earlier that day to bring Rick some fresh donuts and coffee. I wanted to thank him for fixing my truck the other day when that damn thing wouldn't start and to be honest I would use any half-plausible excuse to be able to see him. _

_ "Hey Leon, Rick's here?" I asked the rookie cop sitting behind his desk, organizing some papers and failing at it. _

_ "Hi there," he looked up at me from the stack of papers. "He back. Can't let you in there, it's against rules."_

_ "Sure it is," I muttered under my breath. "Can you call him?"_

_ "I can," he answered but didn't move one bit._

_ "Will you?" I asked him, exasperated._

_ "All right, all right. I'll get him," He finally got his ass up from his desk chair and hollered down the hall for Rick._

_ "Hey Kiara!" Rick greeted with a wide smile on his face. "What brings you by today? Everything okay?" he inquired, his brows furrowing momentarily in concern._

"_Well I just wanted to thank you for fixin' my truck the other day," I retorted looking at him and then looking down blushing wildly. I mentally cursed myself for acting like a fucking schoolgirl and asked him what he was up to. _

"_I'm just doing the inventory in the armory. Come back here, I'll show you around," he offered and I obliged, smirking back at Leon and shouting back at him:" Against rules my ass!" making Rick chuckle heartily. I handed him his coffee and donut and joined him on the bench across the hall from the armory._

"_So you cops really do enjoy munchin' on donuts and drinkin' coffee all the time," I cracked._

"_Hey what's with you and cop jokes all the time?!" he asked feigning frustration._

"_Shut up, you love it," I nudged him with my elbow making him spill some of his coffee. _

"_Watch out miss, attacking a police officer is a felony," he warned, pseudo-serious expression on his face. "Either you calm down or I'll be forced to restrain you." He joked._

_I almost choked on my coffee enjoying the newly discovered jester side to him. He was very funny guy when he was relaxed and not worrying about something constantly. I quickly recollected my wits and teased: "Does this hick-town police station even have a cell?"_

_My eyes widened in shock as I saw Rick's playful glare turn into a sinister grin and he stood up abruptly reaching for his handcuffs. I lowered my coffee on a bench and started to back away from him only to find myself cornered against the metal cage of the armory. I threw a smirk his way and he reciprocated but remained persistent in his advance towards me, his eyes never leaving my face. It was a weird mixture of scary and incredibly hot and I suddenly felt weak in my knees, my heart pounding in my throat._

"_It seems the only way to convince you is to show you," he muttered his face inches away from mine and his hands propped against the metal cage on both sides of my arms, handcuffs hanging from this right thumb. Holy shit! I was ready to jump him there and then. _

"_Ready for lunch partner?" the door swung open by Shane who stopped dead in his tracks when he saw us. "Oh, uh, I'll wait for you in the car then," he started back for the door smirking. _

"_You wanna join us?" Rick asked stepping back, the moment that made my blood boil ruined._

"_Uh, I don't know if I'll be able to digest my food properly with Shane smirking at me like that," I retorted. "Besides I have to get to the studio for an afternoon trainin'." _

"_All right," he stepped up to hug me and made my heart race again. "I'll see you later then?"_

"_Yeah sure," I told him. "Why don't you come by after work? I'll cook somethin' and we can watch the game."_

"_Sounds good," he smiled at me and walked me out of the station._

_Later I was standing in the kitchen chopping some onions to make my famous lasagna. I was freshly showered after the afternoon training dressed in my favorite white camisole summer dress with black floral embroidery on the bodice. I knew Rick liked it. I was a nervous wreck. I really didn't want to screw anything up. I hadn't felt like this for a long time._

_I was putting some beer I bought earlier into the fridge when my phone rang. I answered it and it was Shane telling me Rick got shot and it was bad. He was still in surgery when I arrived at the hospital. I entered the waiting room; tears streaming down my face, and collided with Carl who got out of his mother's arms and ran towards me crying. I hugged him tightly and said hello to Lori. She barely acknowledged my presence but I shrugged it off, her bullshit was the last thing on my mind at that moment. We waited for the doctor. We waited for hours._

"_Mrs. Grimes?" Doctor inquired entering the room. "Your ex-husband is out of danger for the moment. The surgery went well but he is in coma."_

_Lori and Carl started to cry and I followed closely after, while Shane just sat there, listless. We went into his room to see him and it took every ounce of strength within me not to slump down to the ground and ball my eyes out. _


	9. Chapter 9 - I Would Do Anything For Him

**AUTOR´S NOTE: _Since the previous chapter was quite short I decided to treat you guys to the next one today, enjoy :-)_**

**CHAPTER 9 – I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIM**

**Kiara's POV**

I was shaken out of my thoughts by Maggie rushing into the living room: "Rick! He needs blood!" we ran back to the room to find Hershel trying to remove one of the bullet fragments and Carl conscious and crying in pain.

"You!" he gestured towards Shane. "Hold him down!" I stood there; ready to do whatever I'm told, Carl's blood curdling screams echoing in my ears, making me cry along with him. I wanted to do something to stop it, to ease his pain but there was nothing I could do. I never felt so helpless in my life. Well the last time when I felt something remotely similar was when Rick got shot.

"STOP! You're killing him!" Rick yelled as he freed his hand from Patricia's grip clearly not able to stand his son's pained cries anymore.

"Rick! You want him to live?!" Hershel yelled back.

"Just let him do his job Rick, he knows what he's doing!" I tried to calm him down.

"He needs blood!" said Patricia, grabbing hold of Rick's arm again.

"Do it now!" Shane shouted.

Carl cried and screamed and then just passed out from pain scarring the hell out of us. Hershel finally managed to pull the damned fragment out. "One down, five to go," he said and dropped it into a bowl.

"Pressure's stable," Hershel announced. Rick was sitting in a chair next to Carl's bed doing his transfusion. I sat on the ground next to him, holding his right hand in mine and rubbing it with my thumb soothingly.

"Lori needs to be here. She doesn't even know what's goin' on." Rick muttered still in kind of a panicked daze. "I gotta go find her. Bring her back."

"You can't do that," Hershel shot him down.

"She's his mother!" he retorted angrily. "She needs to know what's happened. Her son's lying here shot."

"And he's going to need more blood," Hershel reasoned with him. "He can't go more than fifty feet from this bed," he instructed.

Rick stood up abruptly and his head spun from the blood loss. I caught him and helped him walk back to the living room and then went back to the bedroom to do the transfusion. I heard voices from the other room, Shane and Rick having a heated discussion no doubt about Lori's absence. Rick was right though. She was his mother and she should be here.

I heard the door open and saw Maggie entering from the corner of my eye. She waited with me while her father was draining me of my blood and we had a little time to catch up. I always liked her. She was kind and compassionate and just awesome. We were great friends back at college and I always regretted we hadn't had enough time to stay in touch properly after we finished our studies and now I was here, back at her father's house where she took me once to spend the spring break with her and her family.

"This place hasn't changed a bit," I said. "It's good to be back here even though the circumstances are less than ideal."

"I still can't believe you're here," Maggie retorted. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, I can't believe it took a zombie apocalypse for us to reconnect," I cracked.

"Hey Maggs, I have a favor to ask," I started.

"What is it Kiara?" she asked.

"Please. Can anybody go get Rick's ex-wife? Carl's mom, she needs to be here." I begged.

"All right. I'll go get her. You rest, I'll have Patricia bring you some food," Maggie said. "Kiara?" she continued making me lift up my head in her direction. "I'm glad we got to see each other again, in spite of everything going on."

"Me too Maggs," I smiled at her and then she left. I felt extremely weak, the blood still leaving my veins, but I didn't mind, I loved Carl just as much as I loved his father and I would give up every last drop of blood for that kid.

**Rick's POV**

Shane and Otis left to get the medical supplies, Maggie went to get Lori, Kiara was with Carl doing the transfusion and I was left with my own thoughts. I stepped out on the front porch to talk to Hershel a bit. We talked about his farm and about the disease. He still believes there's a cure. I tried to tell him that we were at the CDC and that it was all gone but he wouldn't listen.

When Maggie galloped back with Lori, she jumped down and ran towards me hugging me and crying. I took her inside to see Carl and we found Kiara sleeping huddled in a chair next to his bed, her tears-stained face peaceful and her transfusion still going.

When Lori saw Carl, she started to cry harder and then laid on the bed next to him. As she was muttering soothing words to our sleeping son I laid my hand on her hip and crouched down beside the bed.

"Oh, Lori. You're here," Kiara mumbled sleepily. "I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, I'm here," Lori snapped back at her making me lift my head up abruptly. Why the hell would she react like that?

"Okay," Kiara muttered under her breath.

"You were supposed to keep an eye on him!" she raised her voice at Kiara, venom leaking from her words.

"I… I was… uh," Kiara stuttered, guilt and confusion written all over her face. I felt weak but the anger inside me made me stand up in haste. Was she really blaming her for what happened to Carl? The woman who was literally bleeding in front of her eyes to save our son?

Before I could tell her anything, Hershel came back to the room and it was time for me and Kiara to switch. She stood up and her head spun but I caught her and helped her sit in the other chair. When I finished my transfusion, Kiara took my place again and extended her hand for Patricia to proceed in spite of my protests. I dragged Lori out of the room to talk to Hershel and give Kiara some rest.

We walked to the dining room, Lori supporting me and Hershel gesturing for me to sit down. I sipped on my orange juice slowly.

"Okay, so I understand when Shane gets back with this other man," Lori started only to be interrupted by Hershel telling her that the other man's name was Otis.

"Otis… the idiot who shot my son," Lori deadpanned.

"Ma'am, it was an accident," Hershel retorted, his face calm and understanding.

"I'll take that under advisement later, for now he's the idiot who shot our son," Lori snapped back. I had enough of it and tried to calm her down but when we learned that Hershel was actually a veterinarian I had to try hard to keep my composure and almost passed out spilling my orange juice all over the table.

"You're completely in over your head aren't you?" Lori muttered.

"Ma'am, aren't we all?" Hershel retaliated. Maybe he was right. "Let's check on your boy."

We went back in just as Kiara was finishing her second transfusion and as she was getting up I noticed that her tank top was soaked with blood in the back.

"Kiara! Your back!" I exclaimed alerting everybody in the room and started towards her lifting up her top a bit to see what happened.

"Oh shit," she muttered weakly. "I must've ripped out my stitches when I was carrying Carl."

"Let me have a look at you," Hershel chimed in and took Kiara to the other room across the hall, Patricia following him carrying his kit. I looked at Lori and she at least had a decency to look ashamed of her previous behavior.

When Hershel got back he checked on Carl's vitals and announced his pressure was dropping again and we couldn't wait much longer, that soon we would have to make the decision whether to operate on him without the essential tools. I told him to take more blood so I could go out after Shane and Otis. It was getting late and they should have been back by then. I feared something happened to them and I insisted I would go after them but Lori set me straight alright and she was right. My place was right there beside my son. I'd never felt so helpless in my life and I hated it.

Lori and I stepped out on the front porch to talk and she said the stupidest thing ever. She argued that this world wasn't built for kids anymore and that it may be better if Carl just died and would be at peace. I couldn't believe my ears. I understood the thought crossing her mind, it crossed mine too, but she said it was all she could think about. I was so desperate and angry at that moment. How could she think something like that? I tried to shake some sense into her but without any success so I decided to go check on Kiara. I knocked lightly on the door and stepped in. She was dressed in someone's nightgown and resting under the covers, IV set up for her.

"Hey, how's Carl? Does he need another transfusion?" she sat up and asked.

"There's no need for that," I said and sat into a soft armchair next to the bed to rest a bit too. The three transfusions started to really take their toll on me. I looked down at my hands. "His pressure's dropping though and… Hershel thinks we can't wait much longer and Shane and Otis are not back yet… I don't know what's going to happen…I…" tears started to stream down my face and I covered my eyes with my hand.

"I should go after them. I know where the high school is, Maggie showed me when I visited here once," she started to get up again and I had to push her back and sat on the bed next to her.

"No Kiara, you're in no shape to go after them," I shut her down, rubbing my thumb across her hand. "Besides, I need you here with me. I can't do this alone. Lori… she thinks… it would be better if he just died, that this world isn't for children anymore…. How? I…" I stuttered and started to openly cry at the thought or Carl slipping away.

I felt her hand on my shoulder, caressing me soothingly and pulling me into a hug. I laid there, my head rested on her chest listening to her heartbeat as she was trying to comfort me. I looked up at her and saw she was crying too. She leaned down and kissed my temple.

"Everything's going to be okay Rick. It has to be."

Later Kiara was sleeping while Lori and I were sitting in the hall outside of Carl' room. We weren't talking at all and when we heard Carl wake up we ran into the room to see him finally awake looking around confused. The first thing he told his mother about was how we saw the deer in the forest right before the accident. If Lori needed a proof to make her believe Carl still had a place in this world, it was that moment. It made me smile but my relief was cut short when Carl had a seizure of some sort. Hershel told us there was nothing we could do to stop it so we were forced to watch our son toss around on the bed and then pass out again. He said Carl's brain wasn't getting enough blood and he needed more. We were both crying at that point.

Moments later, Hershel was checking on Carl again and told us what we were fearing most, that we were running out of time and we had to make a choice right there and then. I was scared out of my wits and I couldn't make that choice by myself. Lori and I exchanged looks and decided to try to operate on him without the respirator. It was extremely unlikely to work but we had to try something. I couldn't let my only son just slip away.

We were preparing to help Hershel set up for the operation and we heard car engines roar. We ran outside to be met with Shane, panicked look on his face, asking about Carl. Otis died during their run but at that moment all I felt was a relief that my best friend was back with everything we needed and hope that my boy would survive.


	10. Chapter 10 - Heaven

**CHAPTER 10 – HEAVEN**

**Rick's POV**

Carl's surgery went well and when Hershel stepped out on the front porch and said he was stabilized I almost passed out from the sheer relief. I sent Lori to Carl and went inside with Hershel to tell Patricia about Otis. I spent a few hours at Carl's bedside along with Lori and then went to check on Kiara and tell her the news. When I entered her room, she was sleeping soundly. I crouched next to the bed and kissed her forehead to wake her up. She opened her eyes sleepily and then shot up, seeing as my face was still wet from tears of relief.

"Carl? What happened?" she asked, her voice laced with panic.

"He's okay. Shane got back and Hershel did the surgery. He'll recover." I said and grabbed her hand trying to calm her down. She sighed in relief and relaxed to my touch. "I can't believe I fell asleep. You were having the worst day of your life and I was here having a snooze," she started but I cut her off.

"Shut up Kiara. You were tired and injured and had every right to rest. You needed it ever since we got out of CDC."

"I guess you're right, but still. I should've been there with you." she quipped guiltily.

"You were," I retorted and kissed her palm. "You're always there for me."

"Lori's with Carl?" she asked.

"Yeah, she's going to sleep next to him tonight."

"Will you stay here with me?" she asked sheepishly.

"I thought you'd never ask," I joked making her giggle and scooped myself on the bed right next to her. I fell asleep immediately savoring the sensation of her warm body cuddling against mine.

**Kiara's POV**

I was standing beside the window of Carl's room, watching others load the barrow with rocks. Hershel was checking his vitals and Lori and Rick were sitting in chairs right next to his bed. When the little fighter finally woke up the first thing he asked was whether Sophia was okay. It made my heart swell with pride. He was just shot and almost died yet he still cared for his little friend. Rick didn't want him to worry so he said she was fine. A moment later T-dog came in announcing that the rest of our group was here.

We had a service for Otis and it brought up lot of memories of my mom. When Hershel asked Shane to speak for Otis he seemed very uneasy. He said they were down to pistols and Otis said he would cover him and then got swarmed. That didn't make any sense though. I knew Rick lent Otis his Python but Shane brought it back. What the hell was he laying cover fire with then?

Later that day we were about to head out and search for Sophia. Everybody was gathering in front of the Cherokee and Maggie brought a county survey map of the area.

"This is perfect, we can finally get this thing organized," Rick said hopefully. "We'll grid the whole area 'n' start searching in teams."

"Not you two. Not today," Hershel cut in, gesturing towards me and Rick. "You gave too much blood. You wouldn't be hiking five minutes in this heat before passin' out."

"And your ankle," he continued looking at Shane. "Push it now; you'll be laid off a month 'n' no good to anybody."

"Guess it's just me," Daryl chimed in, crossbow already slung on his shoulder. "I'm gonna head back to the creek 'n' work my way from there."

Rick looked disappointed but agreed it was wiser to postpone the search for the day. I didn't like it any better but it was true. We needed rest. Shane offered to drive back up to the interstate with Andrea and Carol to see if Sophia wandered back there. When he mentioned gun training, Hershel said he would rather have us not carrying guns on his property and we obliged, some of us reluctantly though. Rick as least managed to convince him to have one rifle on the lookout.

Rick and I were sitting on the front porch stairs enjoying the sun when we saw Daryl walk by. Rick jumped up and went to talk to him.

"Hey! We've got a base. We can get this search properly organized now," Rick started.

"You got a point or we just chattin'?" Daryl cut in with his typical attitude.

"My point is, it lets you off the hook. You don't owe us anything."

Daryl just shrugged and started towards the woods muttering: "My other plans fell through."

"You underestimate him," I said making Rick turn around at me.

"How's so?" he asked.

"Daryl, he cares about this group more than he cares to admit," I said. I knew guys like him. They were good at heart but people were always expecting the worst from them and they never bothered to prove them wrong. It was easier after all to leave people with their narrow-minded presumptions.

"I guess you're right," he sat back next to me and kissed my shoulder. Moments later, Hershel stepped out with two canteens and a map, ready to head out with Rick. I chose to stay behind and help others. It was a busy day. We set up our camp, found out here was a gross bloated Walker in one of the wells and when we tried to pull it out it snapped in half, its guts spilling right back into the well, ruining the water for good. Glenn and Maggie went on a pharmacy run and when they came back I knew something happened between the two. Maggie had a way too innocent expression on her face and Glenn was following her around with his eyes like a lost puppy. I managed to corner her and made her spill the beans and I was right, they hooked up. I was quite happy about it. In a weird way they seemed perfect for each other.

Later in the evening I was in Carl's room reading him one of shi favorite stories when Rick walked in.

"Hey, can I have a minute alone with Carl?" he asked.

"Sure thing," I said and went out to a front porch. Moments later I was walking back in and saw him walk out of Carl's room and stop in front of a dresser with a mirror. He started to take his uniform shirt off and then put the badges into a drawer. I saw the expression on his face – a mixture of fatigue, fear and qualm. I knew he was feeling lost, that he was tired of people looking up to him for answers and I didn't blame him. It was a heavy burden and I wanted to help him carry it. He shouldn't do it alone. I wanted him to know that I am with him no matter what. He was trying so hard and I knew he felt like he was failing everybody.

He finally noticed my reflection in the mirror, but didn't say anything. He didn't need to. I knew I loved him and I decided it was time for him to know it too.

**Rick's POV**

I saw Kiara looking at me in the mirror, her face understanding and laced with another emotion I couldn't quite puzzle out at that moment but it somehow made me feel better. She stepped behind me and helped me take off my T-shirt I was wearing under the uniform. Her hands were lingering over my abdomen caressing my scar lightly making me shiver. She didn't ask any questions. She understood. She kissed me on my shoulder and hugged me resting her head against my back. I wanted to tell her that Hershel was expecting us to leave as soon as Carl would be fit for travel, but I just couldn't bring myself to. I made him promise to reconsider but nothing was definite at that moment. We stayed there for a while, just enjoying the closeness of our bodies and the unspoken feelings lingering between us.

Then she stepped back a little taking my hand in her tiny one and dragged me into her room. She sat me into an armchair and brought a basin with some fresh water from the bathroom. She straddled me and started to wipe away the dirt from my face with a washcloth kissing me and gently caressing my face.

"I love you," I said out loud before I could stop myself. I froze momentarily waiting for her reaction but she smiled, the emotion was clear in her eyes now.

"As I love you," she whispered looking deep into my eyes and kissed me fiercely. I couldn't restrain myself anymore; the feeling of being consumed by her fire was absolutely overwhelming. I snaked my hands around her waist and pulled her tighter against me caressing her back. Her hands were entwined in my hair and she started to grind against me sending shivers of pleasure throughout my whole body. I moved my hands down to her backside caressing it lightly and then squeezed it making her moan against my lips. I could feel a bulge growing in my pants and I knew I needed her, all of her. I stood up from the chair lifting her up along with me, her legs crossed around my body and her lips never leaving mine.

I laid her down on the bed and almost lost it when I realized she was wearing that beautiful white dress of hers. I set out to explore more of her body, moving my lips to her neck and nibbling at the sensitive skin above her collarbone, her hand grabbing my hair clearly telling me to continue my administrations. She started to grind against me again and I had to still her a bit because I wouldn't last much longer if she kept doing that.

I started to pull down the straps of her dress along with her bra and soon she was lying in front of me only in her panties, her wild hair fanned out on the covers, looking into my eyes with pure adoration. The perfection, I thought to myself as I made my way to her ample breasts, caressing one with my hand and nibbling at the other with my lips and my teeth. The sounds she was eliciting made my blood boil. I started to move my hand lower and lower and slid her panties off, caressing the soft skin of her thighs and calves as I did so.

I started to play with her wet slit exploring it carefully and observing her reactions. One moment she was closing her eyes and arching her back, her mouth hanging open, the other moment her eyes were open wide and staring into mine, burning right through my soul. I slid two fingers inside her and started to pump in and out, trying to find that sweet spot that would send her over the edge. I could see she was getting a bit impatient and it made me chuckle under my breath. She grabbed me and started to rub me through the fabric of my pants. I took her hand away and pinned it against the bed watching her squirm under me. She was adorable. Her face was a mixture of love, devotion, innocence and carnal need and I needed to feel her immediately.

I released her hand and she started to franticly work open my belt buckle and then pushing my pants down along with my briefs. I stepped out of them, pinned her against the bed with the weight of my body and propped myself on my elbows staring deep into her eyes.

"I love you so much Kiara," I muttered and kissing her hard I entered her, making her buck her hips against mine and moan into my lips. I started to rock my hips, finding the rhythm we were both comfortable with. The sensation of her warmth enveloping me made me moan loudly. I buried my face into her beautiful breasts and we rocked together, our hands everywhere, caressing each other, our lips exploring every inch of our bodies and whispering sweet nothings to each other.

I saw she was close by the way she was arching her back even more and clutching the bed sheets with her hands, her moans becoming louder. I silenced her with another scorching kiss and quickened my pace, working her clit with my thumb as I did so. She hooked her legs even tighter around me making me go deeper, her fingernails digging into my back, making me groan loudly. And then she was there, her eyes wide open, staring straight into my soul, mouth shaped in a perfect 'o'. I adjusted my pace, deliberately going slower and deeper, letting her ride out her orgasm and she pulled me in close and bit my shoulder trying to silence the guttural moan that was ripping out of her mouth. That sent me across the edge. My movements became erratic and with one last thrust I spilled myself inside her, marking her as mine forever, moaning her name as I did so.

We laid there for a while totally spent, motionless and silent, enjoying the blissful moment, kissing and caressing each other. I still couldn't believe this beautiful young woman was laying there beside me. I loved her. I loved the way I got completely lost in her. Her presence and her words making me forget everything that was happening around us. I knew I found my harbor, my heaven.

**AUTHOR´S NOTE: _So how´d you enjoy smutt written from Rick´s POV? I really hope it was "readable". Feedback is welcomed as ususal :-)_**


	11. Chapter 11 - Chupacabra

**CHAPTER 11 - CHUPACABRA**

**Kiara's POV**

I woke up next morning a little startled by somebody's presence in my bed and realized it was Rick. His naked body was pressing against my back, his arms hugging me tight to him. I let out a blissful sigh and tried to loosen his death grip on me. He groaned in discontent and whined: "Nooo, where're you goin'?"

"I gotta pee, what do you think?" I whispered smothered against his chest. "Babe, you really need to let me go or else I'll explode," I urged him making him chuckle a little and he finally released me. I stood up and stretched a little, my muscles a little sore reminding me the events of the last night. I smiled to myself replaying the whole thing in my head and looking out the window on the rising sun.

"You look beautiful," Rick muttered, stretching lazily under the covers, his hands folded under his head, his eyes watching me taking in my naked form and making me blush wildly.

"You don't look so bad yourself Officer," I retaliated and went to the bathroom. After I did my business I took in my appearance in the mirror and decided shower was in order since the farm had its own generators to warm up the water. I was just scrubbing myself with a soapy washcloth when I felt Rick's finger brush against my back and saw him stepping in the shower hugging me from behind kissing my neck hungrily.

"Ready for round two?" I teased.

"Always," he retorted taking the washcloth from my hands and started to wash my back. Soon enough we weren't able to keep our hands of each other and made a terrible mess splattering water all over the bathroom floor.

When we exited the house, Lori and Carol were doing the laundry and Andrea with T-dog were getting ready by the car. I went to put all my gear into our tent since we weren't going to stay in the house anymore, now that our camp was fully set up and I didn't need any more of Hershel's assistance.

"All right, everyone's gettin' new search grids today," Rick started unfolding the survey map. "If she made it as far as the farmhouse Daryl found she might've gone further east than we've been so far." I looked over at Shane who was shaking his head in frustration but before I could ask what his problem was, Beth's boyfriend, Jimmy was his name, came up to us saying he wanted to help.

"Hershel's okay with this?" Rick asked cautiously.

"Yeah, yeah, he said I should ask you," Jimmy said looking around at us. I smiled at him reassuringly; he seemed like a nice kid.

"All right then, thanks," Rick said and looked back at the map.

"What Daryl found, doesn' scream Sophia to me. Anyone could've been holed up in that farmhouse," Shane finally chimed in.

"Anybody includes her, right?" I retaliated, getting frustrated by his attitude.

"Whoever slept in that cupboard was no bigger than yay-high," Daryl chipped in buttoning his shirt up.

"Good lead," Said Andrea appreciatively.

"Everyone will pick up her trail again," Rick continued hopefully. Dale was approaching us with the duffel with guns as Daryl was saying he would borrow a horse and go look for Sophia on his own.

"Good idea," T-dog cut in. "Maybe you see your chupacabra up there too."

"Chupacabra?" Rick asked incredulously. I just kept my mouth shut trying sooo hard not to laugh. I didn't need an arrow up my ass this early in the morning.

"Wait you've never heard this?" Dale asked laying the duffel on the hood of the car. "The first night in camp, Daryl tells us the whole thing reminds him the time he went squirrel hunting and he saw a chupacabra," which made Jimmy chuckle loudly.

"What're you braying at jackass?" Daryl barked at him. Jimmy just looked at him, mocking expression on his face, and asked: "So you believe in a blood sucking dog?"

"You believe dead people walking around?" Daryl retaliated. He had a point. Jimmy reached for one of the rifles but I shot him down. "Whoah, hold your horses buddy."

"Ever fired one before?" Rick asked him snatching the gun from his hands.

"If I'm goin' out I want one," Jimmy retorted reaching for the gun again.

"Yeah, and people in hell want Slurpees," Daryl retaliated slinging his crossbow over his shoulder.

"I wouldn't mind one myself," I added making Rick and Dale chuckle. Daryl just smirked at me and walked away from us. It was another scorching hot day and I was wearing denim shorts and black tank top, my katana slung across my shoulders, my handgun in my holster. We also made arrangements about the gun training, Andrea said Jimmy could join her and T-dog and we divided our grids.

I joined Rick and Shane but regretted it immediately when I was forced to learn more about Shane's high school love life than I cared for. It was excruciating to say the least. I was trying hard not to roll my eyes all the time in fear they would get stuck inside my head. Rick, Shane and I then got caught in an argument about leaving people behind and I couldn't help but notice that Shane changed significantly ever since he saved Carl's life. He became colder, unstable. It got me thinking about that night and about his story which still didn't make any sense to me and I decided to talk to Rick about it as soon as I'd get the chance. Moments later we wandered into Andrea and T-dog's grid so we headed back.

**Rick's POV**

We walked back to the camp and handed our guns back to Dale to keep them in the RV until the gun training. Shane just stormed off not even bothering to conceal his disagreement anymore. I was sick of his accusations. How could he possibly think that abandoning Sophia was the right call?

"You okay?" Kiara asked and sat beside me on the swing next to the RV. "You know you can't let what Shane said get to you. You're making the right call. You have not only mine, but everybody else's support. Shane's just acting out because he isn't the one in charge anymore. I have noticed he changed a lot ever since this thing happened. He's grown cold, heartless. In times like this people need a leader like you, kind, compassionate and caring."

She laid her head on my shoulder and I hugged her to my side. I don't know how she did it but somehow she eased my troubled mind again, reassuring me that I am in fact making the right decision. I kissed her softly caressing her shoulder when the younger one of Hershel's girls came to us saying her dad wanted to talk to me. I got up and went to see what he wanted and found him behind the shed filling one of the generators with fuel.

"One of my horses is missin'," he started when he saw me coming towards him. "Did one of your people take it?"

"I was given the impression you knew about that," I said inwardly cringing at the look he threw my way saying "I did not." I cursed Daryl for taking the damned horse without Hershel's consent. How the hell was I supposed to persuade him to let us stay here when everybody was running around doing whatever the hell they wanted?!

"I'll have a word with Daryl," I said trying to fix the situation.

"And Jimmy?" he continued, screwing the lid the tank lid shut. "You took him out today. Did he also give you the impression of my consent?"

"No, he said it out right," I answered. What the hell is up with everybody lying their asses off to me lately?! "I took the boy for his word."

"Jimmy is seventeen. He's not my kin but I am responsible for him. These things need to be cleared with me," Hershel said.

"Sounds like we need to work on our communication," I started hoping he would see that I am really trying to meet him halfway. "What do you suggest?"

"Keep it simple," he started. "I'll control my people, you control yours." That sounded reasonable. I couldn't argue with that so I nodded and I walked away. I found Kiara sitting in the shadows of the trees sharpening her sword. I sat next to her and kissed her lightly on cheek.

"Hey, what did Herhsel want?" she asked. I told her about Daryl taking one of the horses and Jimmy going out with us without his permission.

"Wow, no surprise he was pissed," she said.

"There's something else," I started and looked down on the ground not knowing how to continue. She took my hand into hers and asked: "What's goin' on Rick?"

"Well yesterday when I went out with Hershel, he said that he expects us to move on as soon as Carl is fit for travel," I looked up at her, she looked a bit shocked but recovered quickly.

"Okay, uhm… have you tried talking to him about it?" she asked.

"Yeah, I did. In fact I made him promise to reconsider, but I don't know how that's going' to work out when everyone is doin' what they want anyway makin' me look like an idiot who can't keep his promise."

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure he'll come around, he's a good man," she said rubbing my back soothingly. "Is there anything I can do to help? Should I talk to Maggie?"

"No, best thing now would be to give Hershel some space," I said and laid down on the bench laying my head onto her lap. She hummed contently and started to caress my hair.

Our little moment was cut short by Andrea screaming "Walker, Walker!" We jumped out immediately and Kiara grabbed her sword.

"Just the one?" I asked. Andrea checked it out with binoculars and then reached for the rifle.

"I bet I can nail it from here," she said but I shot her down.

"You best let us handle this," Shane joined in, walking towards us with a pickaxe in his hand along with T-dog with a baseball bat. I stopped him telling him that Hershel wanted to deal with Walkers on his own terms but there was no stopping him. I cursed and hurried to the RV to retrieve my gun and soon we were running down the hill.

We stopped dead in our tracks when we realized it was Daryl. He looked a bit worse for wear to say the least. He was covered in mud and blood and dragging his crossbow on the ground behind him, wearing Walker ears around his neck.

"That's the third time you pointed that thing at my head. You gonna pull the trigger or what?!" Daryl barked, making us all sigh in relief but only until we heard a shot and saw Daryl slump to the ground.

"No! No! NO!" I shouted and we all ran towards Daryl thinking he was dead. We crouched beside him to see that the bullet only grazed him and he was alive, thank god and started to pick him up.

"I was kiddin'," Daryl spoke up and then passed out. I slung his arm around my shoulder and we started to drag him towards the house. Dale and Andrea were running towards, the latter shouting hysterically and asking if he was dead.

"Unconcsious," I breathed out. "You just grazed him."

"Look at him," Glenn pointed out towards Daryl's chest. "What the hell happened?! He's wearing ears!"

"Let's keep that to ourselves," I whispered tearing Daryl's "necklace" off and stuffing it inside my shirt.

"Guys!" I heard Kiara holler behind us. "Isn't this Sophia's?" We all turned around to see her holding a doll Sophia always carried with her and my heart sank. We carried Daryl inside the house and Hershel was tending to his wound.

"How's he lookin'?" I asked.

"I had no idea we'd be goin' through that antibiotic so quickly," Hershel said and went to wash his hands. "Any idea what happened to my horse?"

"Yeah, the one that almost killed me? Be smart to leave the country!" Daryl retorted.

"You've gone out with Nelly, as in Nervous Nelly. I could've told you she'd throw you if you bothered to ask." he stepped to me scolding: "It's a wonder you people have survived this long."

We stepped out to find Kiara sitting in the hall. She stood up and I hugged her to my side.

"I hate to say it but I'm with Hershel on this one," Shane started. "We can't keep goin' out there, not after this."

"You'd quit now?" I asked. I couldn't believe my ears. "Daryl just risked his life to bring back the first hard evidence we've had."

"That's one way to look at it," he argued. "The way I see it Daryl almost died today for a doll."

"Yeah, we know how you see it, everybody knows how you see it," Kiara chimed in.

"I'm just trying to be realistic here!" Shane barked at her. "It's time to start makin' the tough calls. You know I'm right."

"No, you're not," Kiara shot him down. "It's the easiest choice to cut out losses and to not care. If I were lost out there, the thought that my group is out there looking for me would keep me goin'. Think about what kind of message you're sending by calling off the search. We have to look out for each other. People need to know we care. It's the only certainty we have left. You keep tellin' yourself that you're making the tough calls, but that's bullshit!" she glared at Shane one last time and walked away to our tent and I went to check in on Carl giving her some time to cool off.

The dinner Lori and Carol cooked for everybody was delicious and it was great to be able to dine like a normal human being for once and not to eat canned food beside the fire. The atmosphere was a little quiet, everybody focused on their meal. I was still mad at Shane and by the looks Kiara was sending his way, she was too. I squeezed her hand under the table and she sent me a small smile.

"Does anyone know how to play guitar?" Glenn asked turning around to the main table, small smile plastered on his face. "Dale found a cool one." Hershel just stared at him and no one bothered to answer his question. "Somebody's gotta know how to play!" Glenn urged.

"Otis did," Patricia said staring down at her plate, sufficiently making the atmosphere in the room even heavier.

"Yes, and he was very good too," Hershel retorted.

"Actually, I can play a little, my brother taught me." Kiara chimed in blushing a little trying to save the awkward situation. Nobody said anything else on that matter and we continued our dinner quietly.

Later everybody was in their tents and I found Kiara sitting by the fire alone, playing "Alive" by Pearl Jam on guitar and singing along. I sat next to her. She smiled at me and continued her little performance.

"I hate singing in front of people," she said but continued playing the guitar.

"Yeah? It didn't seem that way when Colin came to visit and we went to that Irish pub that had karaoke."

"Yeah, that was different. I was wasted and it's our tradition," she chuckled but then her face fell and she stopped playing. "Or rather it was." she said solemnly and stared into the flames.

"What was the name of that Irish pub anyway?" she asked trying to change the subject.

"Oh god, I honestly can't remember," I shook my head. It was a small wonder that I remembered anything from that weekend at all.

"Well I'm not surprised," she teased. "I warned you that Colin and I were goin' to drink you and Shane under the table but you wouldn't listen."

"Yeah well I couldn't skip off just because you warned us. It's about honor you know?" I joked. "You gotta admit though, we fought bravely Shane and I."

"That you did," she said and kissed my temple, her hand lingering on my cheek. "Let's get you to bed, Officer." She laid the guitar down on the ground and started to drag me towards our tent. It took us a while to actually fall asleep if you know what I mean.


	12. Chapter 12 - Boston Joy & Bullshit Pills

**CHAPTER 12 – BOSTON JOY AND BULLSHIT PILLS**

**Kiara****'s POV**

_I pulled up my truck on the parking lot of the Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport and headed towards the terminal to pick up my big brother, or a Boston Joy as I began to call him after I moved here because every time I was sad or homesick, I would call him and he would instantly cheer me up. I was incredibly excited because it was the first time he came to visit me here. I entered the airport just as his plane was landing and waited for him to come out. When I saw him I couldn't restrain myself and ran towards him jumping into his big opened arms, him lifting me up and swirling me around laughing._

_ "I missed you so much Kiara!" he rumbled into my shoulder, enveloping me in one of his crushing hugs._

_ "I missed you too BJ!" I told him and kissed him on his cheek. "Welcome to Atlanta!" _

_We went to get his bags and decided to grab a bite to eat since he was always starving. I showed him my pride and joy – my capoeira studio and then we headed for King's County._

_I was chopping some potatoes to put them on the grill along with burgers and hot-dogs when Colin went inside to get more beer._

"_Need a hand, lil' sis?" he inquired opening one for me._

"_Naah, I'm almost done." I said and put the remaining potatoes into a bowl. "Get your ass out there and talk to boys."_

"_Okay, bossy pants," he teased successfully dodging the kitchen towel I threw his way. I took the potatoes in one hand, my beer in the other and stepped onto the terrace. The grill was ready, Shane fumbling with the gas pipe and Rick right by his side._

"_There you are," Rick toned my way, big smile on his face. "We were about to start without ya." He teased and his eyes lingered on me longer than usual. I was wearing my favorite denim shorts paired with a muscle tank made out of my old Slayer T-shirt, my dreads gathered in an improvised bun._

"_How thoughtful of ya Officer Friendly," I teased right back making Colin throw suspicious glances at me and the Officer in question. Shane just snorted and rolled his eyes. The afternoon went quickly accompanied with food, booze and chatter and soon we were gathering our shit to move the party indoors._

"_So is there any karaoke bar in this town?" Colin asked and I cringed with horror when I realized what was on his mind._

"_Nope, there is none, so don't even think 'bout it!" I shot him down hoping the guys would just let it slide._

"_Think 'bout what?" Rick slurred._

"_Nothin'," I blurted out way too quickly._

"_K and I have sort of a birthday tradition," Colin started deliberately ignoring all the death glares I was sending his way. "Every year, on her birthday we go to a karaoke bar and tear that place down."_

"_Oh god," I muttered too embarrassed to look at them._

"_Today's your birthday?" Rick hollered incredulously. "Why didn' you say anything?"_

"_Well I didn' want to make a big deal out of it." I said._

"_Well karaoke it is!" Shane yelled out and went to call his buddy who owned a taxi service to drive us all the way to Altanta._

"_Dead or aliiiiive, oooooh, dead or aliiiiiiiive," Colin and I were just finishing our rendition of Bon Jovi's Wanted, Dead or Alive, and the crowd was cheering loudly. I looked at Rick and Shane who stood right under the stage. Their jaws were dropped on the ground. _

_I jumped down and walked towards them, placing my palms under their chins and closing their mouth for them: "Here gentlemen, let me pick those up for you." I teased and walked towards the bar ordering another round of Jameson._

_When I got back with the tray, guys were laughing their asses off on something. I exchanged amused looks with Colin, and I sat down next to Rick._

"_Are you guys sure you can handle another round?" Colin teased._

"_What the hell are you talkin' 'bout? Hell yes, we can!" Shane shouted grinning like an idiot._

"_Ok guys let me see what you got, but I must warn you. You're drinkin' with Irish folk tonight and beware we WILL drink you under the table!" I mocked with a pseudo-serious expression on my face._

_After a few hours we were packed in the same cab that drove us to Atlanta and were heading home. It was around four thirty in the morning and we were laughing our asses off on Shane's story about the time he stole the principal's car and let it get destroyed by the army of crazy chicken._

_I woke up the same day around two in the afternoon in a strange bed. The last thing I remember was the cab and then I must've passed out. I've never been so wasted in my life. It took a lot longer than we thought but Colin and I managed to get Rick and Shane drunk to the point they weren't able to utter a single coherent syllable. I wondered how the hell they managed to hail a cab._

_I looked around and assumed I must have been in Rick's bedroom. I went into the adjoining bathroom and tried to wake myself up a little splashing cold water on my face and then went out to explore the rest of the house. I entered the living room and found all three of them passed out on the couch, the table littered with more dirty cups and a bottle of Southern Comfort. The party must have continued even after I passed out. I went into the kitchen to put on a fresh pot of coffee and started rummaging through the fridge. I decided to make us some scrambled eggs and bacon – the best hangover remedy I know. _

_All the commotion must have woken them up because not long after I started chopping all the ingredients I heard groans coming from the living room. Then Rick entered the kitchen tapping me on shoulder making me jump up a little. _

"_Hey, how you feelin'?" he asked, his hand lingering on my shoulder. _

"_You mean besides embarrassed?" I asked. "How the hell did I end up in your bed?"_

"_I carried you," he said proudly._

"_What? You were wasted 'n' barely able to walk yourself," I doubted._

"_Well I was far less drunk than Shane and your brother, so…" he joked._

"_All right, well thank you," I said. "Now where's your pan?" I started to rummage through his cabinets. He took it out for me and then grabbed my hand stopping me._

"_Hey Kiara?" he started and stepped closer to me. "Happy birthday," he said and kissed me on my cheek lightly handing me a small package. I looked up at him confused._

"_I thought you didn't know it was my birthday," I inquired._

"_I lied," he smirked at me. "I'm a cop, I checked your files after you moved out here."_

_I stood there bewildered not knowing what to say. "C'mon, open it," he urged me. I did as he said so and opened the package to find a beautiful little snowflake necklace._

"_Rick…I… it's beautiful, thank you," I muttered blushing wildly and looked up at him. I hugged him and gave him a kiss on his cheek. "Would you help me out?" I asked gesturing to the necklace. He did as I asked him and his hands still lingered on my shoulders. I looked back at him and the look on his face made my heart race. We were just staring at each other when Colin barged in looking for some water._

_Few minutes later we were all sitting at the table, eating quietly trying not to think about the throbbing headaches we were all currently experiencing. I was sitting with my knees against my chest sipping on my coffee and mindlessly playing with my new necklace, when somebody started to unlock the front door to Rick's house._

"_Shit! Oh god, no," Rick started to whisper in panic._

"_What the hell's goin' on?" I asked startled by his reaction._

"_It's Lori, my ex-wife," he said his head in his hands. "She's supposed to bring Carl to spend the next two weeks here with me."_

"_Oh god," I muttered as a tall slim brunette entered the kitchen followed by the cutest kid I've ever seen. He had Rick's eyes. She stopped dead in her tracks when she realized how many people were in the kitchen, her puzzled look sliding from me to Colin, then to the empty bottle on the counter and dirty glasses in the sink and then finally at Rick._

"_Lori, Carl, hi! I didn't expect you so soon." Rick muttered weakly. "Hey buddy, how've you been?"_

"_Good," Carl beamed at his dad, then ran to hug him. "Dad, who are these people?" he asked looking around shyly. _

"_Hi buddy, I'm Kiara and I'm your dad's neighbor and this is my big brother Colin who came to visit me. It's nice to finally meet you. Your dad wouldn't stop talkin' 'bout you," I smiled at the kid and then extended my hand towards his mom: "Hi Lori, it's nice to meet you too!" I said smiling at her but she was just staring me down, surprised and angry, maybe? Her eyes shifted from my face to my hair and then to my tattoo._

"_Well, it was nice to meet you both," I said and started to drag Colin towards the door. "We'll go now. See ya… around," I muttered trying to avoid Lori's judging gaze. Boy oh boy, was she going to hate me!_

**Rick's POV**

I woke up the next morning next to Kiara huddled up against me, her hand clutching at my T-shirt. I just laid there watching her sleep, her eyelids moving rapidly. I kissed her temple lightly and stood up to get dressed. I heard her shuffle and mewl as she was stretching out on a cot.

"Good morning handsome," I heard her croak and turned around to sit down on the cot next to her.

"Morning beautiful," I whispered and kissed her lightly.

"A gall could get used to waking up like this," she joked, sitting up and kissing me intensely. I snaked my hands under her T-shirt caressing her bare back. She moaned into the kiss and started to undo the buttons of my shirt but I stopped her. We were supposed to head out for a gun training any minute.

"Noo," she whimpered and huffed in discontent.

"C'mon, we have to go soon," I said and kissed her a moment longer not wanting to break the connection just yet. I helped her dress and she left the tent to go talk to Maggie.

We were gathered next to the car, looking at the map and talking about the gun training when Shane called Lori and me telling us that Carl stole one of the handguns from the RV which led to a great argument about whether Carl should learn to shoot. Shane and I managed to persuade her to let us teach him.

We were at the practice range and people were doing better than I thought, especially Andrea. I suggested Shane should give her an advanced lesson after the rest headed back to the camp. Carl was turning out to be a good shot as well, I was proud.

Kiara decided to stay behind seeing as she didn't really need it and when we got back to the camp we saw her at the nearby meadow doing capoeira. I've seen her do it once with one of her training buddies at a demonstration practice for the public and I was blown away. The others gathered around, their jaws dropped to the ground, watching her kick, and punch and jump around with swift flawless movements, the smile of pure joy on her face. When she realized she had audience, she stopped and started walking towards us.

"Wow, that was cool!" Carl called out and ran towards her. "Can you teach me that?"

"Of course buddy," she told him. "How'd you do on the gun trainin'?" she asked hugging him to her side and walking towards us.

"He did great," I answered for my son and we all walked back the others.

Later, I was sitting by the table with Kiara. She was sharpening her knife and I decided to clean my gun when Lori approached us.

"Hershel expects us to leave?" she asked me, bewildered expression on her face. I really didn't want her to find out until it was definitely resolved. I looked at her not knowing what to tell her. "Does anybody else know?"

"I do. Nobody else knows, not yet." Kiara said oblivious to Lori's death glare.

"Were you gonna tell me?" she asked accusingly. To be honest I didn't see any reason why I should tell her. "How long have you know?"

"Not long, you don't need to worry about this," I tried to calm her down.

"How do you expect me not to worry? We have shelter here and food and water and medical care!" she continued.

"I've been talking with Hershel. It's not carved in stone," I said and it was true.

"He thinks it is," she retaliated. "We have to fix this. People are settlin' in here, they'll be devastated."

"I know, I'm working on it," I said, I knew we needed to fix this, I didn't need her to tell me that.

"Well then maybe I can talk to him too 'n' plead our case," she offered.

"No! Things are uneasy, the best thing right now is to give Hershel some space," I said and she was just staring at me, the fear and distrust clear in her face.

"Rick's right Lori. How do you think Hershel would feel when we all start pestering him 'bout it? He needs to see we won't be a liability." Kiara reasoned with her.

"Believe me, I don't want to leave either but if that's what we have to do, I'll do whatever it takes to make sure everybody's safe." I reassured her.

"We managed on our own before that," Kiara chimed in. "We can do it again." She stood up and secured her knife on her belt, then walked away.

**Kiara's POV**

I was sitting on the front porch talking to Maggie that afternoon. She was clearly upset about something and I wanted to know what it was.

"You have to promise me to keep this to yourself," she started looking at me intently. I had a bad feeling about it but I agreed anyway.

"What happened Maggie? You're clearly upset about something and Glenn seems really freaked out," I urged her to spill whatever it was.

"Well the last night Glenn kinda stumbled upon somethin' that none of you were supposed to see," she started. "In the barn. We uh, keep the sick people there. Well my father thinks they can be restored and I really want to believe that too, but after what I saw at the well, I just don't know anymore."

"Wow, didn't expect to hear that," I muttered carefully not knowing what to do. "I promise I won't tell but maybe you should let me talk to your dad."

"No, no way. He will kick you all out without a moment's hesitation. He's stubborn as hell, you know that." Before I could say anything else, we were interrupted by Glenn saying he needs to go on another pharmacy run and since I didn't have anything better to do I decided to join them.

We were slowly approaching the town on our horses, the silence and tension between the two was almost unbearable and I started to regret my choice.

"You didn't have to come," Glenn started. "You can hate me from the distance." more silence. "Please say something," he begged. "Maggie, I –"

"I asked for your trust and you betrayed it!" she yelled at him. "Now my dad's pissed at me. Your turn." she deadpanned making me suppress laughter. Good at least they were talking, well, sort of.

"So your dad thinks they're sick," Glenn started. "You agree with that? Even after what you saw at the well?"

"I'm not sure what I saw at the well," Maggie retorted.

"Yes you are," I cut in, making her glare at me. "You know damn well what you saw Maggs."

"Look if you'd seen Atlanta you would not have a barn full of Walkers," Glenn reasoned.

"I wish you'd stop calling them that!" she barked at him.

"What do you call 'em?" he asked.

"Mom, Shawn, Mister and Missis Fisher, Lacey, Duncan," Maggie started to enumerate all of her loved ones and then went inside the pharmacy closely followed by us.

"What does she want now?" Maggie asked annoyed.

"Can't say," Glenn muttered making me roll my eyes.

"Smooth move dude," I scolded.

"So one of them asks you to keep your mouth shut –" Maggie started but was cut off by Glenn handing her a piece of paper asking for her help.

"You have got to be kiddin' me," Maggie muttered under her breath handing me the paper. I looked at it and I felt like kicking something. Morning afterpills? Seriously? I shook my head and went outside to wait for them not willing to take part in that.

I was sitting on the railing and petting one of the horses when I heard Maggie scream with terror. I jumped up and ran inside, sliding my katana out of its sheath to find a gross Walker grabbing onto Maggie trying to get a bite out of her and Glenn running towards her half-chopping its head off with a shelf. He dropped it and hugged Maggie tight.

"Are you okay? Did he bite you?" I yelled and ran towards them and saw the bloody corpse rise to its feet, its head dangling over its shoulder and I finished it with my sword. Glenn took out his machete and smacked its head several times. I checked Maggie for bites and scratches and then hugged her tight trying to calm her down.

When we got back Maggie ran straight to Lori yelling at her that her special delivery was here. I didn't try to stop her because I wasn't far from making a scene myself. I went straight into our tent shaking my head trying really hard not to think about Lori being pregnant and what it meant for Rick and me. I laid down on the cot and started to cry.

**AUTHOR´S NOTE: **_**Hope you enjoyed this chapter :-)**_


	13. Chapter 13 - Goodbye Sophia

**CHAPTER 13 – GOODBYE SOPHIA**

**Rick****'s POV**

I was heading to our tent when Lori pulled me aside saying she needed to talk to me. I sighed; I thought we were clear on the Hershel situation. She dragged me away from the camp and then just stood there looking at me.

"What's up?" I asked baffled and curious.

"We can't leave. I'm pregnant." she said, the expression on her face unreadable. I just stood there trying to process what I just heard.

"You're what?" I asked not waiting for her response. "And you're telling me this why?"

"I need you." she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and started towards me. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the look in my eyes.

"I'm sorry but I still don't see how this is my responsibility," I started aggravated. "You've been shacking up with Shane behind my back all this time, not even having a decency to say anything, just sneaking around hoping I wouldn't notice. And yet, this morning, you were in my face for not telling you about Hershel." I added incredulously. "I don't care who you're sleeping with, not anymore, but I still don't understand what you want me to do about this. You're pregnant? Talk to Shane, it's not my problem anymore." I realized I was being too harsh but I've had enough of it at that point.

"We broke up," she said quietly. "Before we got to the farm. I ended it with him because he's not the one I want to be with." she said. I had no idea what to say to that so I just walked away slamming the gate behind me. I felt like my skull was going to split in half. I was really pissed at Lori at that moment, yet I still felt sort of responsibility towards her. She was a family after all.

I walked into our tent to find Kiara sitting pensively on the cot. I took off my holster belt and smashed it against the chair stronger than I intended making her jump up.

"What happened?" she asked concerned. I just sat down next to her not sure where to start; the magnitude of what just Lori told me starting to sink in.

"Lori's pregnant," I said looking at her. She didn't seem surprised.

"I know," she said making me look at her incredulously. "I went with Maggie and Glenn on a pharmacy run today, that's how I learned. I was just thinking about the right way to tell you. Does Shane know?"

"You knew about Shane and her?" I asked irritated. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I, I wanted to but," she started stuttering, flustered probably because of my tone, but I didn't have any energy left to try to keep my temper anymore.

"But what?!" I snapped at her.

"Just hear me out. The day we found the church, I overheard their conversation. That's how I learned. I wanted to tell you but then Carl got shot and everything was happening so fast and it just slipped my mind completely. I'm so sorry." she said and reached out her hand towards me but I flinched. I was so angry I needed to get out of there so I just stormed off.

I took a long walk to calm my nerves. I realized I was awful to Kiara even though she did nothing wrong and I hated myself for it. I felt so stupid for snapping out at her like that.

It was getting dark so I went back to our tent wanting to apologize and fearing her reaction. What if she sends me away? I couldn't even bear the thought of that but I had to make things right. I stepped inside to find her sleeping huddled up in a ball, her face tearstained. "Now you've made her cry, you asshole" I mentally scolded myself. I sat next to her on the cot and shook her lightly. She whimpered a little clearly not happy about being waken up.

"Kiara? Baby, wake up. I need to talk to you," I whispered against her ear and kissed her temple lightly stroking her back with my hand. She slowly opened her eyes and they immediately started to tear up again. The apologetic look on her face was killing me because she did nothing wrong.

"I'm so sorry Rick. I should've told you right away," she whispered back and sat up hugging me tight against her. I sighed in relief, she wasn't mad at me.

"No I'm sorry Kiara. I shouldn't have flipped out like that. I'm so sorry baby. I was so pissed off and wasn't thinking clearly. You didn't do anything," I mumbled against her neck and kissed the sensitive skin under her jaw line breathing in her scent.

"It's okay babe. You had every right to be pissed," she muttered and entwined her fingers into my hair. I helped her sit up on me so she could straddle me. She was already in her sleeping T-shirt and panties. I snaked my hands under her shirt pulling her closer to me then moving down to her backside and squeezing it lightly making her moan with pleasure and tug on my hair.

"I love you baby. I need you, now," she moaned against my lips as she worked open my pants and took out my member stroking it lightly, making me groan loudly. I pushed her panties aside and positioned myself at her entrance not waiting for an invitation and with one swift movement I slammed myself into her. The sensation made her arch her back and I reached to take her shirt off as she started to move on top of me slowly, unbuttoning my shirt and kissing my exposed chest. I looked up into her fierce eyes breathing heavily as she pressed her forehead against mine and quickened her pace eliciting breathy moans that vibrated through my whole body making me shiver. I moved my lips to her breasts, kissing, licking and nibbling hungrily everywhere I could reach making her whimper and writhe in my embrace.

I could tell she was close by the way her walls started to clench around me so I put my hips into work making every thrust more intense and soon she was arching her back, breath hitching in her throat. The sight of her like that made me follow her sending the most intense waves of pleasure through my body. I couldn't contain myself and I bit her shoulder making her hiss in pain and pleasure. We just sat there for a while, motionless, and then laid down on our cot sweaty and spent, limbs and hearts entwined and drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

**Kiara's POV**

We were sitting by the campfire eating scrambled eggs and I looked over at Rick deep in thought absentmindedly staring into the flames. I rubbed his neck and kissed his temple lightly.

"Earth calls Officer Grimes," I toned quietly so only he would hear me.

"I'm here," he said with a small smile on his lips and squeezed my thigh lightly. My gaze then fell on Glenn who sat a little bit further going back and forth between starring at Maggie who stood on the front porch scowling and then at Dale and me. I nodded at him encouragingly. I knew Maggie would be pissed, but they needed to know.

"Uhm, guys?" he started quietly standing up making everybody look up at him somewhat amused. Why couldn't they take him seriously for once?

"So… the barn's full of Walkers." Da-da-daaah. Now he had their attention and I was mentally preparing myself for the shitstorm that would no doubt follow.

We were down at the barn and Shane was peeping through a gap between the wood planks and jumping back abruptly when one of the Walkers started snapping at him. "You cannot tell me you're all right with this." Shane growled brushing past me and Rick with obvious distaste.

"No, I'm not, but we're guests here, this isn't our land," Rick raised his voice.

"For god's sake this is our lives man!" Shane yelled.

"Lower your voice," Lori scolded him.

"We can't just sweep this under the rug!" Andrea chimed in.

"It ain't right, not remote," T-dog joined in.

"We either gotta go in there, gotta make things right, or we just gotta go," Shane started. "Now we've been talkin' 'bout Fort Bennin' for a long time…"

"We CAN'T go!" Rick shouted.

"Why Rick, why?!" Shane asked exasperated.

"Cause my daughter's still out there," Carol told him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Okay," Shane muttered scoffing a little. "Okay I think it's time that we all start to just consider the other possibility…"

"Shane!" Rick bellowed. "We're not leaving Sophia behind!"

"We're close to finding this girl! I just found her damn doll a few days ago!" Daryl cut in making Shane laugh at him.

"You found a doll, Daryl. That's what you did. You found a _doll_!"

"You wanna tell me what the hell are you talkin' 'bout!?"

"Hey look, I'm just sayin' what needs to be said here!" Shane argued while Rick was trying to calm him down. "You get a good lead, it's the first forty-eight hours, after that you don't – let me tell you somethin' else man! If she was alive out there 'n' saw you coming, all methed out with your buck knife, geek ears around your neck, she would've run in the other direction man!"

"Shut up!" Daryl growled and lunged at Shane. "Just stop!" Rick shouted and pushed the two men apart and I grabbed Daryl by his arm, tugging him away telling him to calm down. "Just stop!" Rick repeated. "Back off!"

"Keep your hands off me," Shane warned pointing his finger into Lori's face.

"Now just let me just talk to Hershel. Let me figure it out," Rick reasoned with Shane but without any success.

"What are you gonna figure out?!" Shane roared and started towards Rick but I pushed him back shouting.

"ENOUGH! Stop shouting at each other, you're making them all riled up!" I pointed at the barn door that was shaking under the pressure of the undead trying to get out.

"If we're gonna stay, if we're gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it. This is his land!" Rick reasoned and Dale walked up to him saying:" Hershel sees those things in there as people. Sick people – his wife, his-his stepson."

"You knew?" Rick asked incredulously.

"Yesterday, I talked to Hershel," he said.

"And you waited the night!" Shane barked at him.

"I thought we could survive one more night. We did!" Dale retorted saying he wanted to say something but that Glenn wanted to be the one. Shane and Rick started to shout at each other again but before I could set them straight, the door began to rattle even more violently making everybody back off a little.

After that everybody just wandered off listless. Rick went to talk to Hershel, Shane was down at the barn keeping watch and I decided to borrow a horse and look for Sophia along with Daryl. Hershel told him he needed to recover first but the mulish redneck was having none of it so I offered I'd go with him. I was heading down to the stables when I heard the exchange between him and Carol and saw him storm off in the opposite direction. I went back to our tent and laid down a bit reading a book Dale lent me waiting for Rick to come get me when he was done talking with Hershel.

Moments later he walked in telling me to get ready. I could see on his face that something was bugging him.

"How'd it go?"

"Well, we're negotiating. I told him Lori's pregnant so… I also told Shane." he said looking down on the ground. "I thought he should know."

"Yeah, he should know, but you should've let Lori tell him."

"I'm not sure she wants him to know. Yesterday… it almost seemed as if she wanted me to take her back or somethin'," he muttered making my blood boil with rage and insecurity. I had to look away because of the tears that started to well up in my eyes. What if he decides to get back with her?

He must have sensed something was wrong with me because he forced my head up making me look up at him and said. "But that's not my problem. Listen to me! I won't let this destroy what we have. I love you Kiara and nothing can change that. I will help her as much as I can, she is family after all, but I love you and I want to be with you and nobody else."

I couldn't muster any words at that point, relief washing over me, so I just smiled weakly at him. He pulled me into a tight embrace and kissed me roughly making me believe every word he just said.

"I know. I'm sorry for acting like such a stupid head. I love you Rick and I'll help you take care of her," I said. "You shouldn't do everything alone."

He kissed me once more and we headed out to meet up with Andrea to go out and look for Sophia. We were getting ready, looking over the map one last time when Hershel came up to us asking Rick for help. Andrea and I offered too but he refused saying he just needed Rick.

Andrea went to keep watch down at the barn and I went to find Carl and play some checkers with him whilst I waited for Rick to come back. We witnessed and exchange between Glenn and Maggie and then the reconciliation as well to which Carl reacted in accordance with his age whining "Eeeeewww" as loudly and for as long as possible making us all laugh our asses off.

Rick and Hershel had been gone for a while, Shane and Dale weren't at the camp as well and I was starting to worry. I was looking around nervously when I saw Andrea and T-dog heading in our direction.

"Do you know what's goin' on?" T-dog inquired followed by Andrea asking where everyone was.

"You haven't seen Rick?" Glenn asked making me lift my head up from the board.

"He went off with Hershel," I answered.

"We were supposed to leave a couple hours ago." Andrea added frowning.

"Yeah you were. What the hell?" we heard Daryl call out walking up to us followed by Carol. "He told us he was goin' out."

"Dammit isn't anybody takin' this seriously?" he asked incredulously. "We got us the damned trail." he turned around gesturing wildly and noticed Shane walking towards us with the duffel with guns. "Ah, here we go."

"What's all this?" Daryl asked as Shane approached him.

"You with me man?" he asked, maniacal expression on his face. Daryl nodded curiously taking the shotgun from Shane's hand. I stood up and hurried down the stairs curious as to what he was up to.

"Time to grow up!" he growled. "You already got yours?" he asked me and Andrea.

"Yeah, where is Dale?" Andrea asked.

"He's on his way," Shane muttered with disgust.

"Thought we couldn't carry?" T-dog inquired as Shane was handing him a pistol.

"Yeah well we can and we have to," Shane told him. "Now look, it was one thing standin' around here 'n' pickin' daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe, but now we know it ain't!"

"Shut up Shane, what the hell are you doin'?" I barked at him.

"No you shut up Kiara, I've had enough of this!" he roared.

"How 'bout you man? You gonna protect yours?" Glenn looked hesitant at first but then took the shotgun from him. Shane then turned around at Maggie asking: "Can you shoot?"

"Can you stop?!" Maggie returned. "You do this, you hand out these guns 'n' my dad will make you leave tonight!"

"Shane! Stop! This is no way to deal with this situation!" I tried to reason with him, but no luck.

"We have to stay Shane!" Carl chimed in.

"We ain't goin' anywhere. Now look, Hershel, he's just gotta understand, okay? He, well, he's gonna have to." Shane continued and walked towards Carl. "Now, we need to find Sophia, am I right?" he knelt in front of him handing him a gun. "Now I want you to take this. You take it and you keep you 'n' your momma safe. You do whatever it takes; you know how, go ahead."

"That's enough," I said cocking my gun and pointing it at Shane's head making him stop and turn around looking at me with disbelief. I've had enough of his bullshit and I'd be dammed if I let him take advantage of Rick's absence, rile everybody up and execute Maggie's family. Deep down I knew we needed to clear that barn and put Hershel's family out of their misery but this was not the way to do it.

Shane just stood up still staring into my eyes. The maniacal expression on his face was making my skin crawl, but I stood my ground. "You calm your ass down right now! This isn't your decision to make!" I said. Everybody just stood there watching us cautiously. I looked up as I saw Lori finally get out of the house asking what was going on and Shane took advantage of that snatching my handgun from my hand and pointing it at me.

"What?" I asked. "You gonna shoot me like you shot Otis?" I spat out in his face. He just sneered at me but before he could do anything else, T-dog called out: "Oh shit!" pointing towards Rick, Jimmy and Hershel leading two captured Walkers towards the barn.

Shane quickly disarmed my gun throwing it on the ground and then ran towards Rick and Hershel screaming and growling and everybody followed close behind me. I picked up my gun and ran after them, cocking it back up. I just joined the group as Shane drew his handgun and shot three rounds into the woman Walker's chest.

"STOP IT!" Rick yelled at him but to no effect.

"That's three rounds in the chest! Could someone who's alive, could they just take that? Why is it still coming?!" He fired another shots. "That's its heart, its lungs! Why is it still coming?!" More rounds drilled into the Walker.

"SHANE, ENOUGH!" Rick yelled at him again.

"Yeah, you're right man, That is enough," Shane replied as he walked up to the Walker shooting it into head right in front of Hershel who fell on his knees in shock. "ENOUGH! Risking our lives for a little girl who's GONE! ENOUGH! Living next to a barn full of things that're trying to kill us! ENOUGH! Rick, it ain't like it was before! Now, if ya'll wanna LIVE, if ya wanna survive, ya gotta fight for it! I'm talking about FIGHT, RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW!"

"SHANE DON'T!" I yelled at him raising my gun at him as he started running towards the barn but Rick yelled at me to stop and then screamed at Hershel to take the snare pole from him but he just knelt there, catatonic. Everybody was yelling at Shane to stop but he wasn't listening anymore.

Soon enough the door to the barn was wide open and Walkers started to crawl out towards us. Shane started shooting them closely followed by Andrea, T-dog, Daryl and reluctant Glenn. Then he shot the Walker Rick was holding on to and continued his execution. I just stood there next to Rick not knowing what to do. I saw Lori and Carl approach and I yelled at them to stay back and stood in front of them in case things got out of control. And then it was over and ominous silence fell all over the place. Everybody just stood there, silent, Hershel and his family was crying. Dale just caught up to us looking in horror at the scene before him.

And then we heard it, another growl coming from the shadows of the barn. Everybody raised their guns again, ready to finish what they started. And then she stepped out of the barn, the little girl we've spent days looking for in the woods. Her shoulder mauled, her face contorted and her blank eyes staring at us, mindless growls escaping her throat as she started to make her way towards us through the corpses littering the ground.

Everybody just stood there, motionless, paralyzed. Then Carol started to run towards her daughter but was stopped by Daryl. She started to cry desperately, closely followed by Lori and Carl. I felt my eyes water too as I watched the little girl approach us and saw Rick stepping up with determined expression on his face. He took out his gun and pointed it at Sophia but couldn't bring himself to do it. I stepped in front of him, taking the gun from his hands.

"No Rick," he looked up at me, desperate, heartbroken. "You don't have to do this alone anymore," I told him and turned around. I pointed the gun at the poor girl, whispering "Goodbye Sophia" as I pulled the trigger.


	14. Chapter 14 - Nebraska

**AUTHOR´S NOTE:_ I´m sorry this took longer than usual, but I have the worst week behind me and even worse ahead of me. Anyway, I hope you´ll enjoy it. Comments and suggestions are welcome as usual :-)_**

**CHAPTER 14 – NEBRASKA**

**Kiara's POV**

I lowered my gun and looked down at the motionless corpse listening to Carol's anguished cries. I turned around to look into Rick's eyes and let the tears fall freely. Everybody else just stood there, shocked. Daryl started to pick Carol from the ground telling her not to look but she just shoved him back and ran away.

Beth was crying loudly and ran towards her mother's body pushing past us ignoring our warnings. She pulled the Walker that was lying on top of Annette and when she started to turn her around, the corpse suddenly gripped her hands and tried to make a little snack out of its own daughter. We immediately sprung towards her, Shane and Rick tried to pull Beth away from her growling mother while Glenn was holding her hands struggling to keep her from harming anybody. I pulled out my knife and shoved it into Annette's eye socket, putting her out of her misery once and for all. I looked up into Hershel's eyes apologetically. He was holding onto crying Beth for dear life and started to walk towards the house. I was walking next to Maggie when Shane caught up to us and started throwing ridiculous accusations everywhere.

"We've been out, we've been combing these woods looking for her, and she was in there all along?" Shane yelled. "You knew!"

"Leave him alone!" Maggie yelled back at him while Rick was trying to hold him back but without any success.

"Just stop man!" Glenn pleaded exasperated.

"You knew and you kept it from us!" Shane continued his crazy rampage.

"I didn't know!" Hershel answered weakly.

"That's bullshit! I think you all knew!" Shane barked.

"We didn' know!" Maggie retorted, aggravated.

"Why was she there?" Shane insisted making Hershel finally turn around to face him.

"Y' know, Otis put those people in the barn. Maybe he found her and put her in there before he was killed."

"Do you expect me to believe that? What do I look like? Do I look like an idiot?" Shane stepped into Hershel's face making my blood boil. Before I could think it through I lunged forward and punched him straight in the nose making it crack and bleed. He stepped back shocked but then, not a second later, lunged at me with revenge in his eyes. Before he could do anything he was shoved back by Rick pleading for everybody to calm down.

Hershel turned around, death serious expression on his face, and said: "I mean it. Off my land." and he stepped inside followed by his daughters and Glenn.

"Go inside and wait for me there!" Rick ordered pushing aggravated Shane away from me. I obeyed and sat on the couch next to Maggie hugging her tight listening to Rick and Shane arguing outside.

"You okay?" Glenn asked gesturing towards my right hand.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My brother taught me how to throw a good punch without gettin' myself hurt too bad," I joked, but my knuckles were busted anyway. "I should take care of that." I pointed towards my bloody hand.

I was in one of the downstairs bathrooms fumbling through the cabinet looking for some bandages. I found one and started unpacking it when I heard the door open. It was Rick. He sat me down on the edge of the bathtub and without a word started to clean by knuckles. The silence was unbearable as he was wrapping up my hand.

"Look at you, patching me up once again," I joked trying to lighten up the mood a little. He smiled but kept his eyes on my hand. "On the scale of one to ten, how much are you pissed at me for punching Shane?"

He chuckled. "Ten," he said, and finally looked up at me. "But only because you beat me to it." I giggled and hugged him tight to me. Even though he was joking, I knew he was heartbroken and blaming himself for Sophia's fate. I heard him mumble "Thank you" against my shoulder and hugged him even tighter.

**Rick's POV**

We all stood there in front of three freshly dug graves and nobody was saying anything. Well except for Carol. She refused to attend her own daughter's funeral. I was hugging Kiara to my side, and she was holding onto me resting her head on my shoulder. I felt like I was failing everybody around me over and over again. I really believed we would find her and now all that hope was lost, gone for good. After the service we all scattered and T-dog and Andrea started to load the truck up with remaining corpses.

Kiara and I were sitting on the front porch contemplating our options since we would most likely be forced to leave this place when Maggie ran out, panicked, telling us that Beth collapsed and was in some kind of shock and she couldn't find Hershel anywhere.

"Your stepmother's things?" I inquired rummaging through a box. We were all standing in the master bedroom, looking around trying to figure out where Hershel could go.

"He was so sure she'd recover 'n' they'd just pick up where they left off," Maggie said.

"Looks like he found an old friend," Shane muttered throwing me a flask, I caught it and handed it to Maggie who said it was her grandfather's and that he gave it to Hershel when he died.

"I didn't take Hershel for a drinker," I said carefully not wanting to offend her.

"No, he gave it up on the day I was born," she said and walked towards the dresser. "He didn' even allow liquor in the house." I knew where to look for him.

"What's the bar in town?" I asked.

"Hatlands," Maggie answered immediately. "He practically lived there in his drinkin' days."

"Bet that's where I'll find him," I said.

"Yeah, I've seen the place, I'll take you," Glenn offered only to be shut down my Maggie.

"Don't worry Maggie, we'll bring him back," Kiara cut in making me lower my head. Somehow I knew she would want to go with us but I wished she wouldn't. We didn't know what was waiting for us out there and I didn't want her in danger. Ever. I knew though there was no point in arguing with her.

I started to walk towards the door with Kiara by my side to get the truck ready when Lori stopped me.

"You wanna have a conversation about this before you leave?" she scolded making me sigh in exasperation.

"So you're seriously gonna go after this guy with everything that's goin' on?" Shane joined in looking at me and Kiara incredulously.

"You stupid-ass selfish piece of shit!" Kiara lunged forward, but I caught her just in time, preventing her from strangling Shane. "Everything that's goin' on is happening because of you in a first place, you fuckhead!"

"Kiara calm down!" I yelled still holding her while Shane just smirked at us and walked away. She shook me off and went to stand nearby, arms folded across her chest.

"Carl said he would've shot Sophia himself," Lori started. "That's your son. He's getting cold. He's growing up in a world where he needs a father like you. Around. Alive. Not runnin' off solving everybody else's problems."

"Everybody else's problems?" Kiara cut her off walking up to us again. "Are you for real?! Your lover boy just massacred all of Maggie's and Beth's family and now their only living relative, their FATHER is missing and you're saying this is not our problem? These people gave us shelter and you're in Rick's face for trying to fix this? How can you be so fuckin' selfish!" Kiara shouted at her and stormed off. I gave Lori one last look and went after Kiara.

I found her standing by the Cherokee checking out her gun and securing it in her holster belt next to her knife. Her katana was already in the car. I walked up to her and hugged her from the back whispering soothing words into her ear. She leaned into me and caressed my neck with her free hand. "I'm sorry I yelled at your ex-wife… again," she said making me chuckle. We noticed Glenn and Maggie saying their goodbyes.

"They're so cute together," Kiara muttered.

"You mean cuter than us?" I joked feigning hurt and making her giggle.

"Nobody's cuter than us. Now focus Grimes! The last time we were in the town, Maggie got attacked, so we don't know how bad it is really." she ordered but her voice was laced with amusement.

"Yes ma'am," I retorted and she gave me her infamous elbow in the rib cage making me chuckle. When Glenn approached us he looked a little freaked out to say the least. Kiara went to sit in the passenger's seat and nodded one last time to Maggie who was standing at the front porch scowling and then stormed off inside the house as we were leaving.

We were nearing the town and everything seemed quiet. I looked over my shoulder at Glenn who seemed distracted, looking out the window and not talking.

"Maggie said she loves me," he suddenly spilled. I nodded appreciatively but Glenn scoffed. "She doesn't mean it. I mean… she can't… I mean why… she's-uh- she's upset… confused…"

"I think she's smart enough to know what she's feelin'," Kiara chimed in defending her friend and I nodded in agreement.

"No, no," Glenn refused making me chuckle. "You know, she- she wants to be in love, so – so she needs somethin' to like hold on to," the poor boy continued his ramble but I cut him off.

"Glenn it's pretty obvious to everyone Maggie loves you and not just because you're one of the last men standin', so what's the problem?" I inquired.

"I didn't say it back," Glenn said making Kiara sitting next to me huff and roll her eyes saying: "Duuude, what is wrong with you?"

"I've never had a woman say that to me before," he defended himself. "You know except for my mom, of course and my sisters, but with Maggie it's different, I mean we barely know each other. What does she really know 'bout me? Nothin'. We're practically strangers. I didn't know what to do with 'er. I just stood there like a jerk."

"Hey, hey, this is a good thing. Somethin' we don't get enough of these days," I said. "Enjoy it. And when we get back return the favor, it's not like she's goin' anywhere." I felt Kiara squeeze my thigh lightly and I turned around to see her beaming at me, clearly satisfied with my answer.

We arrived into town and found the bar very easily as it was straight across the street from the pharmacy. He walked in and found Hershel sitting behind the counter drowning his sorrow in a bottle of whiskey.

"Hershel?" I called out carefully.

"Who's with you?" he inquired.

"Glenn and Kiara," I answered.

"Maggie sent them?" Hershel questioned again.

"They volunteered, they're good like that," I retorted and approached the desperate man asking: "How many have you had?"

"Not enough," he muttered.

"Let's finish this up back at home," I urged him a little. "Beth collapsed 'n' is in some sort of state, must be in shock. I think you are too."

"Maggie's with 'er?" Hershel asked.

"Yes, but Beth needs you," Kiara cut in.

"What could I do?" he asked looking down at his hands. "She needs her mother, or rather to mourn, like she should've done weeks ago. I robbed her of that. I see that now."

"You thought there was a cure," I said. "You can't blame yourself for holdin' out for hope."

We spent some more time talking to Hershel trying to persuade him to come home. It got quite ugly at one point but finally we managed to convince him. We were about to leave that dump when we heard the door open and saw two men come in, one of them saying: "Son of a bitch, they're alive."

We were sat at the bar drinking and talking to the two strangers. I was pouring out drinks while Kiara was sitting up on the bar right between Glenn who was standing behind it and Hershel who hadn't moved from his spot.

"I'm Dave and that scrawny lookin' douchbag there is Tony," the slimmer one was doing the introductions and looking at Kiara more than at anybody else making me clench my jaw tightly.

"Eat me Dave," Tony retaliated.

"Hey, maybe someday I will," Dave quipped right back. "We met on the I-95 coming out of Philly, damn shitjob that was."

"I'm Glenn, it's nice to meet some new people," Glenn started our introductions.

"Rick Grimes," I continued handing a glass to Kiara.

"How 'bout you sweetheart?" Dave inquired making me ball my free hand into a fist.

"Sweetheart? Really?" she started, but I shot her a warning look telling her to behave and she answered: "Kiara."

"How 'bout you ol' pal? Have one?" Dave inquired gesturing towards Hershel.

"I just quit," Hershel answered making Dave joke that he had a unique sense of timing.

"His name's Hershel. We lost people today. A lot of them," I explained and Dave at least tried to look compassionable. Then he raised his glass.

"I'm truly sorry to hear that," he told Hershel. "To better days and new friends, and to our dead, may they be in a better place," he toasted and we all followed him drinking our shots. He reached for the bottle to refill his glass and I noticed he had a gun tugged behind his belt. He saw where I was looking and reached for it: "Not bad, huh? I got it off a cop."

"I'm a cop," I retaliated and he chuckled.

"This one was already dead."

"You fellas're long way from Philadelphia," I commented.

"Seems like we're long way from anywhere," Dave joked.

"What drove you south?"

"Well I can tell you it wasn't the weather. I must've dropped thirty pounds in sweat alone down here," he joked rubbing his eyes.

"I wish," Tony chipped making Dave chuckle lightly.

"Well first it was DC. I heard there might be some kind of refugee camp but the roads were so jammed we never got even close. We decided to get off the highways, into the sticks, keep hauling ass," he continued with their story. "Every group we came across had a new rumor about a way out of this thing."

"One old guy told us there was a Coast Guard sitting on the Gulf sending ferries to the islands," Tony joined in.

"The latest was a rail yard in Montgomery running trains to the middle of the country. Kansas, Nebraska,…"

"Nebraska?" Glenn echoed confused.

"Low population, lots of guns," Tony answered.

"Makes sense," Kiara chipped in making Tony look her up and down.

"Ever been to Nebraska sweetheart?" Dave asked smirking at Kiara, the look in his eyes making my skin crawl. "There's reason they call 'em fly over states," he joked. I saw him exchange looks with Tony partner and he asked: "How about you guys?"

"Fort Bennin', eventually," I told him.

"I hate to piss in your cornflakes Officer, but we ran across a grunt who was stationed at Benning. Said the place was overrun by lamebrains."

"Wait, Fort Benning is gone? Are you for real?" Glenn asked incredulously. And I saw Kiara nudge him with her knee to shut up. Guess I wasn't the only one who had a bad feeling about these guys.

"Sadly I am," he said looking down at his hands. "Truth is there's no way out of this mess. You just keep goin' from one pipe dream to the next, praying one of those mindless freaks doesn't grab a hold of you when you sleep."

"If you sleep," Tony chimed in.

"Yeah, doesn't look like you guys are hanging your hats here. You hold up somewhere else?" There it was. Shit. I knew this would come up but there was no way I would bring these two back with us. I shook my head saying: "Not really."

"Those your cars out front?" Dave inquired. I nodded my head, Glenn asking why.

"Well, we're livin' out of ours. Those look, uh, kind of empty, clean. Where's all your gear?"

"We're with a larger group, out scouting," Hershel told him quickly. "Thought we could use a drink."

"A drink Hershel? I thought you quit!" Dake cracked. "Well we're thinking of settin' up around here. Is it, is it safe?"

"Can be, we had to… kill a couple of Walkers around here" Glenn answered making me cringe inwardly. I turned around and shot him a sharp look silencing him effectively.

"Walkers?" Dave inquired. "Is that how you call them?"

"Yeah," Glenn answered nervously making Dave nod his head in appreciation. "That's good, I like that. I like that better than lamebrains."

"So what? You guys set up on the, uh, outskirts or somethin'? That new development?"

"Trailer park or somethin'? A farm?" Tony asked rising from his seat and walking over to the opposite corner of the bar.

"Ol' McDonals had a farm," Dave toned under his breath making Tony chuckle while he was taking a leak in a corner.

"Classy," I heard Kiara murmur under her breath looking the other way with a disgusted expression on her face.

"You got a farm?"

"Is it safe? Gotta be."

"You got food? Water?"

"You got some more cooze?" Tony asked smirking at Kiara making me look at him wish disgust. "I ain't had a piece of ass in weeks."

I felt Kiara behind me tense up and I turned around begging her to keep her mouth shut then back at Dave who winced: "Listen, pardon my friend. City kids, they got no tact, no disrespect," he looked at Kiara but she just sent him her best death glare making him turn back at Glenn. He started to ask him more about the farm than I was comfortable with so I shot him down. Unfortunately he was quite persistent in his efforts to convince us to take them back with us but I was having none of it.

"This is bullshit!" Tony snapped at me. I told him to calm down which made him riled up all the more.

"Don't tell me to calm down. Don't EVER tell me to calm down. I'll shoot you three assholes in the head and take your girl here AND your damn farm!" I reached for my Python and heard Kiara cock her gun too pointing it at Tony.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Relax!" Dave interfered. "Take it easy! Nobody's killin' anybody!" he said and climbed over the bar searching for another bottle. "Nobody's shooting anybody, right sweetheart?" he asked smiling slimily at Kiara. I gestured for her to lower her gun which she reluctantly obeyed.

"You gotta understand. We can't stay out there. You know what it's like." Dave tried to reason.

"Yeah, I do. But the farm is too crowded as is. I'm sorry. You'll have to keep lookin'." I said cautious to Dave's every move.

"Keep lookin', and where do you suggest we do that?"

"I don't know. I hear Nebraska's nice," I deadpanned.

"Nebraska," Dave chuckled. "This guy," I saw the flinch in Dave's eyes as he reached for his gun but before he could do anything I saw him tumble to the ground with Kiara's knife jammed in his forehead. I quickly turned around to see Tony point his shotgun at her screaming "You little bitch!" but before he could fire I shot him twice in the chest and then finished him off with a shot in the head. I turned around to see the stunned expressions on Glenn's and Hershel's face and then looked at Kiara who looked calm but I could see the bewilderment in her eyes. I bet she was thinking the same thing. It has come to that. We killed the living.


	15. Chapter 15 - Kill Or Be Killed

**CHAPTER 15 – KILL OR BE KILLED**

**Kiara's POV**

I was still sitting on the counter watching Tony's body slump to the ground and trying to process what had just happened. We were all numbly starring at each other trying to reassure one another that what we did was necessary.

"Let's head back," Hershel muttered and Rick crouched down to search Tony for more guns and ammo. I jumped down behind the counter and took the gun out of Dave's cold dead hands. We were heading towards the entrance when headlights shined through the windows.

"Car, car, get down!"

We all ducked down against the wall. I was crouching behind Rick on one side of the entrance while Glenn and Hershel took the opposite side and we waited, breathlessly listening to three or four men sneak around calling for their friends who lied with bullets in their heads not five feet from us. It was absolutely quiet except for the strangers' footsteps on the wooden porch and a distant rumbling of thunder. I stayed in my position while Rick prowled up to Glenn and Hershel trying to figure out what to do.

"We can't sit here any longer," Rick whispered hurriedly. "Let's head out of the back 'n' make a run for the car." He looked at me for approval and stood up carefully trying to not make more noise than necessary. But then we heard more shots coming from outside and were forced to duck back down again. I heard chatter outside but couldn't work out what they were saying. As their footsteps got closer I heard one scold: "We're lookin' for Dave and Tony and no one checks the damn bar?!"

We all exchanged panicked looks as the strangers approached the entrance and Rick raised his gun ready to fire. As the door started to push open, Glenn got up and slammed himself against it shutting it close again.

"What?!" one of the guys muttered in surprise. "Someone pushed that shut, there's someone in there."

"Yo, someone in there? If someone's in there we don't want no trouble! We're just lookin' for our friends!" we heard them argue outside about what to do next and than the one in charge called out again repeating they didn't want any trouble, that they were just looking for their friends. I was checking the other window hoping they would just give up and leave. I turned back at Rick and could see him battling with himself trying to figure out whether make ourselves known or stay quiet. He looked at me and I shook my head begging him not to say anything but somehow I knew he would anyway.

"They drew on us!" he yelled at them and I cocked my gun ready to fire if things got out of control.

"Dave and Tony in there? They alive?"

"No!" Rick answered mentally cursing himself for blabbing. The men outside started arguing again and in one moment it looked like they were leaving but I knew we weren't going to be that lucky.

"Your friends drew on us! They gave us no choice!" Rick yelled back and I could hear the panic in his voice. "I'm sure we've all lost enough people, done things we – we wish we didn't have to but – but it's like that now 'n' you know that! So let's just chop this up for what it was – wrong place, wrong—"

He was cut off by gunfire and shattering glass as the men outside decided to take their revenge. I stood up and started shooting through the broken window closely followed by Rick who yelled at Glenn and Hershel to get out of there. I saw them running to the back dodging bullets that were flying through the windows, Hershel passing Glenn one of the shotguns.

Rick and I were reloading our guns and he was still trying to reason with the gunmen. I sighed inwardly. He was sometimes a little too caring for his own good but that's one of the reasons I love him. The noise coming from the back room of the bar made us all jump up and Rick gestured for Glenn to go and check it out. We were now standing next to Hershel when we heard a shot but the young Korean yelled he was all right.

"I'll hold them here, you two cover Glenn. See if he can make it to your car," Rick said. "Tell him – tell him to pull up back 'n' we make a run for it and get the hell out of here," I looked at him bewildered at the idea of leaving him but he pleaded with his eyes for me to obey at least this once. I didn't like it but I did as I was told. We hurried to the back room and Glenn almost shot us. He was clearly freaked out and I didn't blame him. Hershel filled him in on the plan telling him to try for the car.

"Try?!" Glenn asked incredulously.

"You'll try and you'll succeed," Hershel told him in a fatherly tone.

"We'll cover you," I chimed in sending him a reassuring smile.

"This is great plan," Glenn retaliated but reluctantly started moving towards the exit. Hershel and I followed closely behind him. I opened the door carefully stepping out quietly and scanning the surroundings. I gestured for Glenn to come out and make a run for it while Hershel covered him from the other side. The only thing we heard was chirping of grasshoppers and rumbling of thunders in the distance.

Glenn brushed past me as I was checking the street then I heard more gunfire behind our backs. I shoved him into the cover of the dumpsters. One of the bullets grazed my shoulder and cursed under my breath. I looked out from behind the dumpsters and saw Hershel nail down the asshole that shot at us. I turned at Glen who was just sitting on the ground not moving, paralyzed from the shock of being shot at. I was shaking him lightly when Rick caught up with us.

"It's all right, the car's right there," he said soothingly. "We're almost home. You good?"

"Yeah," Glenn muttered weakly and I nodded. The wounded man was screaming in pain and I knew it was only a matter of time before the Walkers would appear.

"We have to move Rick," I told him and we started to run towards the car only to jump right back behind the dumpsters as there was another man shooting at us from the rooftop of the opposite building. We saw a car rush up the street stopping in front of the pharmacy, the driver yelling at the sniper to hurry and jump down as there were more and more Walkers emerging from the dark every minute. The boy then jumped down but must have landed badly because he started to scream in pain and the man in the car just drove away leaving him there.

"Get Hershel," Rick ordered and ran towards the pharmacy. I followed him and soon we found the boy howling and whining with his leg impaled on one of the iron fence rods.

"Oh god, what are we gonna do with him?" I asked although I was pretty sure I knew the answer.

"We can't leave him here," Rick started but was cut off by Hershel and Glenn running towards us and yelling we had to go. The boy was pleading for his life, begging us to not leave him there.

"He was just shooting at us!" Glenn yelled incredulously.

"He's just a kid!" Rick barked at him. We started to yell at each other arguing about what to do. I couldn't help but feel sorry for the kid but the will to survive was winning at that moment. Hershel suggested putting the boy down as there was no way to get the leg off the rod without tearing the muscle to shreds and the boy bleeding out.

"Can't we just take the leg off?" Glenn asked and we all looked at each other. Hershel started to take off his shirt and telling us how we were going to do it. I handed him my big hunting knife and Rick slammed the boy down against the dumpster to keep him from tossing around and screaming.

I stood next to Hershel in case he needed my help when Glenn yelled there were more Walkers coming out way.

"Oh god, they're everywhere," I heard Rick call out. I ran to him telling him to hold the boy down and started to shoot the Walkers that were approaching quickly but there were too many of them.

"C'mon we gotta go," Glenn yelled. He was right, there was no time. Hershel climbed down and ran to the car. I grabbed Rick's hand and started dragging him away too.

"No, no, no! Please don't leave me! Please!" Rick freed himself from me and ran towards the boy ripping his leg free making him scream in agony.

"Shit," I muttered and ran to help him get the kid into the backseat of the car. Once we were all settled, Hershel, the kid and I in the back and Glenn at the passenger's seat, Rick started the car and bolted out of there just as the Walkers started to gain on us.

**Rick's POV**

We drove for a couple minutes until we left the town safely behind us. We stopped at the gas station that was halfway between the farm and the town. I handed Kiara a piece of cloth to blindfold the kid.

"What's your name?" Kiara asked him, holding him down as Hershel was doing everything he could to stop the bleeding.

"Ra-Randal," the boy stuttered weakly whimpering in pain.

"Randal, we're going to help you but you have to promise not to do anything stupid," I tried to calm him down.

"I p-p-promise," he said but Kiara took out her hunting knife and let him have a good look at it.

"You so much as think 'bout crossing us, you're dead," she growled in his ear. For a tiny girl she could be pretty scary.

"I PROMISE I won't!" he yelled at her. She put her knife back into its sheath and tied the cloth around Randal's head.

"Well I'm glad we understand each other," I said satisfied and stepped out of the car along with Glenn to search the gas station for Walkers and food. We were lucky and found no Walkers, only few water bottles and some stale candy bars.

"We'll stay here for the night," I said as I approached Kiara who was taking watch sitting on the hood of the car.

"Seems like a good idea," she said. "Rick?" she started. "You realize this will cause pretty big shitstorm back at the camp. People won't be happy 'bout Randal being there. Especially Shane. He's gonna flip out."

"I know, but I couldn't just leave him there. He's not a danger to us, nor is his group. They left him for dead, they're not coming back for him," I reasoned.

"I realize that but they probably won't," she said jumping down and hugging me. I leaned into her not saying anything. "I got your back Jack," she cracked making me chuckle. "You did the right thing baby."

I hugged her tighter kissing her lightly. It was getting a bit cold as the storm was rolling in and I felt her shiver so I started to rub her shoulders trying to warm her up. She hissed in pain and I saw the blood trickling down her arm. I lifted up the sleeve of her T-shirt and saw the lesion on her left arm.

"What is this? When did this happen?!" I asked panicked.

"A bullet must've grazed me," she muttered, frustrated.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I didn't wait for her answer and cut the sleeve off of my shirt wrapping it around her shoulder muttering: "I shouldn't have let you come with us."

"You honestly think I would let you leave me behind? That's my best friend's father we were goin' to bring back," she argued. "Don't worry so much, it's nothin'," she said. "It probably won't even need stitches."

"Let Hershel decide on that," I cut her off. "What's up with you gettin' hurt all the time?" I muttered under my breath shaking my head slightly.

"Believe me, I know," she answered. "Sooo annoying." she said, looking down. I lifted her head up making her look at me.

"It's not that," I muttered. "I just hate to see you get hurt." She didn't say anything, just buried her face in my chest and pushed herself against me tighter.

"C'mon, we should settle for the night," I said and nudged her towards the car. "We'll move Randal inside so Hershel and Glenn will be able to keep an eye on him. You and I will take watch outside." I commanded and holstered my Python.

Soon we were sitting on a pile of cardboards outside the gas station wrapped in a blanket Glenn found inside. Kiara had her head rested against my chest, her sword by her side, and watched our surroundings cautiously. We weren't talking much and just watched the lightning show safe under the small roof that was covering us from the light drizzle accompanying the storm that finally caught up to us.

We headed out early in the morning and when we reached the farm we saw Shane, Daryl, Andrea and T-dog getting ready to go look for us. The rest started to pour out of the house as we were pulling up. I stepped out of the car and Carl ran to me hugging me tightly and then ran towards Kiara to hug her too.

"Who the hell is that?" T-dog asked gesturing towards the Cherokee.

"That's Randal," Glenn answered as everybody went closer to have better look. What followed was of course a very heated discussion about what to do with Randal while Hershel was in the shed trying to repair his calf as best as he could. Shane flipped out just like Kiara anticipated and I saw her right hand twitch no doubt longing to add another sweet-ass bruise to the one that he was currently sporting under his right eye. When Hershel came back he set him straight reminding him that the only reason he allowed Shane to stay on his property was because I begged him to.

I was on my way to our tent when Lori pulled me aside to talk to me. She said Shane was dangerous and that she was sure he killed Otis practically insinuating that my best friend was an unstable murderer. I noticed he had changed and I didn't like it either. The truth was he was starting to get on my nerve, hounding me around, questioning my every move, scoffing at my every decision and threatening people around him. When Lori mentioned he raised his gun at Kiara the other day my blood boiled with rage. I realized it was time to have a word with my old pal.


	16. Chapter 16 - Walker Cops

**CHAPTER 16 – WALKER COPS**

**Kiara' POV**

Over the next few days Rick hovered over me like I was going to break or something. It was both sweet and a little annoying. Hershel had a look on my shoulder and reassured me it was just a flesh wound and wouldn't require stitches.

"See, I told you," I smiled at Rick trying to cheer him up. I could see something was wrong but I didn't press the issue knowing that he'll talk to me when he's ready.

I was walking around the property gathering some firewood when I heard someone approaching. I turned around and saw it was him.

"Hey, need a hand?" he motioned towards the pile of twigs in my hands.

"Sure, make yourself useful," I teased making him glare at me playfully. I handed him the pile and we started walking towards the camp. I settled at the table and started to clean my gun, and Rick soon joined me.

"I need to talk to you about Shane," Rick started looking at me intently. "I know what happened that day when Hershel's family was… you know," he muttered making me raise my eyes from my gun to him.

"How did you find out?" I asked lowering my eyes again and pushing the lever out.

"Lori told me," he said. That surprised me. I didn't expect her to say anything that might put Shane in the bad light despite the fact they weren't together anymore.

"She told me some other things too," he continued.

"Did she say anything 'bout Otis?" I asked making him look at me with surprise. "Yeah, I thought 'bout it Rick and Shane's story 'bout what happened that night doesn't make any sense. Think 'bout it babe. He said they were down to pistols and you said yourself you lent Otis your Python because he only had his rifle but Shane brought your Python back so what other pistol did Otis use?" I asked watching various emotions cross his face.

"Rick I know he's your best friend, I know he's like brother to you but he has changed. He's not the same person anymore. I know this world changes people and none of us is the same as we were before all this, but this kind of change? The way Shane changed? It has always been within him… dormant, just waiting for the opportunity to break free," I argued cautiously judging his reaction. He just sighed not wanting to hear what I was saying but he knew it was true.

"That's what I thought. You're not the only one who thinks he killed Otis, Lori and Dale think so too. I'll have a word with him," he said solemnly and I grabbed his hand running my thumb across it soothingly. He pulled me into him, running his hand gently across the fabric of my T-shirt on my shoulder where my newest scar was.

The whole week passed since we brought Randal back with us and his leg was healed enough to cut him loose. I was in our tent getting ready to head out when Rick walked in.

"Kiara, I need you to stay put this time," he said making me look at him incredulously.

"What?" I asked. "You can't be serious Rick, you want to go alone with Shane?"

"Yeah, we have some things we need to work out Shane and I, some things to discuss and we need to do this alone," he cupped my face making me look into his brilliant orbs. "Just trust me on this one. He's not that far gone."

"Ok, but I still don't like it," I muttered unable to argue with him when he was looking at me like that. I kissed him lightly and then he left. I decided to help Maggie in the kitchen trying to keep my mind occupied. I was chopping up the chicken when she asked.

"Did Rick say anything 'bout Glenn when you guys got back from town?"

"Not really, we were all quite preoccupied with the whole Randal thing," I said looking up at her. "Why? Somethin' happened between you two?"

"He's not the same… says he froze," she muttered. "Blames me… says I got inside his head."

"Ugh, sooo typical," I rolled my eyes smiling at her. "Cherchez la femme, right?" I cracked munching on a piece of cucumber. Maggie didn't seem so amused though.

"Look, what he said only proves he loves you back, even though he may not realize it just yet," I said. "He's a big boy, Maggie, he'll figure it out soon enough, don't worry about it. He just needs to get over himself."

She finally smiled at me and went to bring Beth some food and then talk to Glenn. I ate by myself in the kitchen and then decided to check on Beth. I found her crying in her room.

"Beth?" I started but she didn't even look at me. "I know how hard it is, hon. My mom was one of the first people killed by this epidemic. We didn't know what was happening at the time but it was no less awful. I lost my father and my brother to this thing too, but I'm still here and I still got people to live for and so do you. I know that it seems hopeless now but it will get better, you just have to find the will to carry on."

She just looked at me and muttered thank you. I smiled at her and took the tray with the untouched food back to the kitchen. I was putting the cutlery back to the drawer when I noticed the knife was missing and I panicked. I ran back to Beth's room and begged her to give me the knife. I ran outside and bumped into Lori and asked her and Andrea to find Hershel or Maggie. I ran back to the house too afraid to leave Beth alone for too long.

Later, we were sitting in the kitchen silently listening to Maggie and Beth arguing and screaming at each other.

"Where's Hershel?" Andrea finally broke the silence.

"Maggie doesn't want him to find out yet," I said drinking coffee. "It's a family affair. Let them work it out."

"That's working it out?" Andrea asked skeptically.

"When they stop fightin', that's the time to worry," Lori chimed in.

"That's true," I said making the brunette smile at me, probably for the first time since we'd known each other.

"This could've been handled better," Andrea scoffed.

"How's so?" Lori asked.

"You shouldn't have taken the knife away," she said turning towards me.

"That's a little harsh don't you think?" I asked.

"You were wrong. Like Dale taking my gun. That wasn't your decision," she said. "She has to choose to live on her own; she has to find her own reasons."

"Well that may be true but you seriously think that's the way to do it?" I argued. "She still has family and friends who are there for her. If that's not a reason to live, I don't know what is."

I went out to get a little fresh air and heard the conversation in the kitchen continued even without me resulting in quite a heated argument between the two women. I was a bit conflicted. On one hand I understood Andrea's point of view but on the other I didn't want to see anybody else die whether it was fromWalkers or by their own choice. My thoughts were interrupted by Carl calling for me to come play checkers with him and I gladly obliged.

I was getting lemonade for me and Carl when I heard Maggie calling out for her sister frantically and banging on the door. I ran into the room asking what happened. I heard Beth crying inside the adjacent bathroom and Maggie told me she heard glass break. Lori ran inside the room while Maggie was looking for a key saying she left Beth with Andrea, and then begging her sister to open the door. I ran across the room to get the poker and forced the door open. We ran inside to find Beth with her left wrist slit crying and saying she was sorry. Lori and Maggie got Beth into the dining room and I ran outside to get Hershel.

Moments later, Maggie, Lori and I were stepping out of the house when we saw Andrea run towards us.

"Where were you?" Maggie barked at her.

"I heard. Is she all right?" Andrea asked panting slightly.

"She would be if you would have stayed with her," Maggie retorted. "Where were you?"

"How bad is she?"

"She didn't cut deep enough, thank god," I said.

"She wants to live," Andrea muttered to herself. "She made her decision."

"She tried to kill herself!" Maggie yelled at her.

"No, she didn't," Andrea retorted calmly.

"My father's stitching her wrist right now!"

"She'll live," Andrea said and started towards the door but Maggie stepped in her way growling at her: "Stay away from her, from both of us. Don't you dare step foot inside this house again."

Andrea was looking at us for help but Lori just stood there quiet that self-righteous expression plastered on her face.

"Maggie, I know you're pissed right now, and I'm not saying this was the best way to handle this but Andrea's right. Beth has made her choice." I reasoned making her look at me incredulously. I looked her into eyes, standing my ground and she just shrugged and started to walk back inside.

Andrea threw me a small smile and walked away. I decided to stay on the porch and heard Lori saying: "I'm not gonna say she was right but Beth has made her choice. She wants to live and now she knows it. Sometimes you have to cross the line." Maggie just shrugged again and went inside. I just stood there with my mouth hung open. Now she's talking. What a fucking hypocrite. I shrugged it off quickly though and went back to Carl to play with him a little more and trying my best not to think about why Rick wasn't back yet.

**Rick's POV**

We were driving through Georgia countryside for a while when I stopped the car at a crossroad. It was time to talk, to clear the air between Shane and me. I was really tired of his attitude.

"Thought we were goin' further," Shane quipped.

"We are, eighteen miles out," I said looking around.

"Why are we stoppin'?"

"I wanna talk," I started. "Been waiting a week 'till we were gonna do this. I just wanna talk."

"We don't need to," Shane started but I cut him short. "We do."

"No man, we don't," he insisted. "We're doin' this, I get it. He was passed out when you brought him back, don't know where the farm is –"

"That isn't what I need to talk to you 'bout." I said and I noticed the subtle change in his demeanor. "I heard what really happened at the school. Was it to survive?"

"Yeah," he muttered still not looking at me. "One of us wasn't goin' to make it out, had to be him. I shot him to the leg, Carl lives. Reality is, he had no business bein' here…there… whatever."

"You don't think I would've done it?"

"No man, I know you wouldn've," Shane deadpanned.

"You don't think I can keep my son safe?" I asked.

"I didn't say that," Shane started. "Rick you can't just be the good guy 'n' expect to live, okay? Not anymore."

"I'm not the good guy anymore," I retorted. "To save Carl's life, I would've done anything, _anything_." I stepped up closer to him trying to emphasize every word I uttered in hopes that he would understand that this was his last chance. "Now, Lori and Kiara, they both say you're dangerous, but you're not gonna be dangerous, not to us, not to me, not anymore."

"How 'bout you look at me?" I asked him. I was getting a little irritated by then. "You raised your gun at Kiara." I stated. "Lori told me 'bout it when we got back from the town. When I heard… I wanted to break your jaw… let you choke on your teeth, but I didn't. In the name of our friendship. But know this, if you ever do anything like that again I will not keep my temper. Now, the only way you and me keep on is that you accept what I just said, right here, right now, and we move forward with that understanding."

We walked back to the car to check on Randal and continued our road-trip. We drove for another hour or so. We were more than eighteen miles out and I was looking for a place to give Randal a fair chance when I spotted a Department of Public Works. I decided to cut Randal loose there and scavenge some supplies and gas, if we were going to be lucky enough to find any. There were two Walker cops and we managed to put them down with our knives, saving the ammunition and keeping low profile. We checked the place out. I was filling up canisters with gas when Shane noticed, the Walker cops weren't bitten, but we found scratches. We brought Randal in and took of the gag and earbuds.

"What the hell is this?" he asked confused as we started to walk away. "Oh c'mon don't be stupid! I owe you guys! I can help protect what you got! Why would you save my life just to kill me by leavin' me here! One guy! One guy can't make it alone! That's why I was with those dudes! I was alone!" I turned around and tossed him a knife completely ignoring his pleading. "Don't be stupid, I'm not like them! I'm just some guy! I used to watch football and screw 'round on the internet! I lived with my mom! I lost her like you lost people!"

"I went to school with Maggie for god's sake!" I almost had a heart attack upon hearing that. The boy continued his rambling and we ran back up to him asking how did he know Maggie. This was a nightmare. He knew her and he knew Hershel so he could bring his people to the farm. Shit! I was hoping we would cut him loose and this will all be over, but this…this changed the whole situation. Shane drew his weapon on Randal and would have shot him if I didn't tackle him to the ground, kicking his handgun under one of the cars.

"Shane! No! Not now! Just not now!"

"Well when Rick? When?" he asked frustrated sitting propped against the car.

"When I've had a chance to think 'bout it," I said. It was true. I knew we would probably have to kill him, but I had to think about it and talk it through with others. Randal continued begging for his life but I shot him down, pacing nervously and trying to figure out what to do.

"We're goin' back. It's a man's life. I need a night to think it through," I said.

"You're gonna bring this piece of garbage back to our camp?" Shane yelled. "He shot at you for god's sake! You're seriously gonna bring him back to where we sleep?"

"He'll be locked up in a barn," I said. He was really getting on my nerve and I spat out: "Unless you bust it open!"

"I'm takin' the night!" I barked.

"Yeah man, you take the night, you think on it, keep – keep strugglin' with it!" he started. "It ain't hard man! The right choice is the one that keeps us alive! It's always the same with you!"

"Stop actin' like you know the way ahead, like you know the rules! There are no rules. man! We're lost!" I raised my voice.

"No, no, no man, I know exactly what they are," he started muttering.

"You don't know shit anymore!" I yelled at him.

"What the hell happened to you? Ever since you started screwing Kiara it's like you left your brain somewhere along the way!" he spat at me venomously. "That girl has made you soft. Well, I guess young pussy'll do that."

That last remark made my blood boil with cold raw rage and I wasn't able to keep my temper anymore, not even for our friendship. I lunged at him and we started to beat the crap out of each other. He tried to take my gun but that didn't pan out and I was hitting him hard letting out all the frustration and rage I'd been piling up for a long time. It was getting real serious real fast but I didn't care anymore. He toppled a motorcycle on my foot trapping me effectively while he went to retrieve his gun. I managed to get from under it just in time to stop him from shooting Randal and tackled him to the ground once again. We were struggling and I managed to get on top of him and land him a few solid punches. He just laid there and I stood up, ending this stupid fight, or so I thought.

"You're not doin' this!" I yelled. "You don't get to make these calls anymore. I won't let you!"

He stood up, grabbed the wrench that was propped against the truck and threw it at me screaming like a mad man. I dodged it landing in a pile of garbage, the glass from a broken window scattering all around me, and when I looked at Shane, the look on his face made my skin crawl. This wasn't my friend anymore. That was my first thought and I didn't want to believe it although it was starting to dawn on me. My thoughts were cut short as one Walker started to climb through the window landing few feet from me. It lunged at me but I managed to jam my knife in its forehead. And then about a dozen Walkers started to spill out from the building. I jumped back into the garbage toppling the disgusting corpse on me hoping they wouldn't notice me and it worked. They all started to follow Shane and when the air was clear I tossed my smelly camouflage aside and started to look around for my gun.

Then I heard glass creaking under the weight of few more stranded Walkers that decided to join the party but it was too late to hide. They saw me and started to chase me. I ran frantically looking around for my gun when I finally found it under one of the cars just in time to shoot the first Walker in the head. The bastard landed on me trapping me there and the next one fell right down on his friend, snatching at me and I managed to shoot him too. I was trying to topple the bodies to the side when the third one appeared slumping down adding to the pile of corpses crushing me. I couldn't get a good aim so I stuck the gun into the mouth of the first Walker's pulling the trigger like crazy blowing off its head into smithereens.

I got from under the disgusting pile just in time to catch Randal trying to escape. Shane was trapped in a school bus with about a dozen of Walkers trying to bash in and make an afternoon snack out of him. Randal was trying to convince me to leave saying he wouldn't say anything. I was really conflicted. If I left Shane there, it will all be over. No more fighting, no more sneaking behind my back, no more conspiring. On the other hand, he was my best friend once and I was still kind off hoping he could be saved. But I really wanted it all be over so I started to drag Randal towards the exit.

I was taking the Walker cops' guns ready to head out but the sight of them lying there side by side dead got me thinking. Were they also buddies like Shane and I? Did they die trying to help each other, protect each other from the Walkers? I realized that in spite of everything, in spite of the fact that deep down I knew our friendship was gone, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I had left him there. I duct taped Randal to a driver's seat and we barged in. I was in the passenger's seat shooting Walkers and yelling at Shane to run for the back door of the bus. He hopped into the car and we drove away, Randal yelping and screaming in excitement. His joy was cut short when we tied him up and tossed him into the trunk again.

We were standing propped against the hood of the car – dirty, bloody and exhausted. I turned around to face Shane and said: "If you wanna kill me, you're gonna have to do better than a wrench. We're probably gonna have to kill that boy, but I am gonna think 'bout it a night. It can't be that easy, killin' someone, killin' anyone. You know that," I paused.

"I don't want to hear you speak of Kiara like that ever again. Now if you're gonna be with us, you have to follow my lead, you gotta trust me," I took out his gun and handed it to him. "It's time for you to come back."


	17. Chapter 17 - The Cold Cruel World

**CHAPTER 17 – THE COLD CRUEL WORLD**

**Kiara's POV**

When Rick and Shane got finally back, it was already dark. I was sitting on the railing of the front porch, taking watch because I knew I wouldn't fall asleep until he was back anyway. I was really glad we finally got rid of Randal. It was creating a way too much tension among people, but as I saw Rick walk to the trunk of the car, pulling tied up Randal out of it and then dragging him back to the shed, I knew something must have gone wrong. My suspicion was confirmed when he stepped into the light and I saw various cuts and all the blood on his face. I noticed Shane storm inside and he didn't look any better. I guess the boys worked it out pretty well then...

"What the hell happened Rick?" I went up to him to examine his face. "Did Shane do this to you?"

"Well uh… we had a little disagreement, Shane and I," he said and hissed when I touched his forehead.

"A little disagreement? That must be the understatement of the century," I scolded him lightly. "So?" I urged. "What happened?"

"I…uh, well we got into fight, and he uh, pushed me… told me I couldn't keep the group safe and…uh, and said some crass stuff about you and I kinda snapped. I started it and it got out of hand very quickly. At one point I was pretty sure he wanted to kill me… and then Walkers came…" he looked at me and stopped rambling. I could only imagine what I must've looked like, all my emotions were probably battling on my face. On one hand, my heart fluttered at the thought that he defended my honor, and on the other hand I was so furious with Shane that could kill him myself.

"Son of a bitch!" I turned by back on Rick and tried to calm down. "I'm gonna kill him!"

"Kiara!" Rick raised his voice and turned me around to face him. "Calm down baby. I'm okay. We worked things out. It will be fine. Shane will behave himself from now on."

"You seriously believe that?!" I asked him incredulously trying to wriggle out of his grasp but to no effect.

"Yes Kiara, I do," he said almost pleadingly. "I need to believe it because the other alternative is just too damn depressive!"

I finally looked up at him and saw the desperation in his eyes and tried to calm down at least for him. "Okay baby, no I'm sorry, I understand. For you I hope, you're right about Shane."

"It's alright babe, I understand," he said and hugged me tight. "You don't like him and you have every right to."

"You ok?" I asked concerned. "You both look like you took the quite beating."

"I'm okay," he kissed my temple. "I love you."

"I love you," I said. "So what happened? Why'd you bring Randal back?"

"Things got… complicated," he started. "We found a perfect spot to cut him loose. We were leaving and he was begging us not to leave him there and then he said he went to school with Maggie. He knows her, he knows Hershel. We couldn't just let him go."

"Oh god," I said, the gravity of the situation dawning on me hard. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't… I don't know, but I'm afraid we're gonna have to…" he muttered looking down on the ground. I could see he didn't want it to come to that but he didn't see a way around and to be honest, at that moment, neither did I. I thought I would puke. I had always been against the death penalty and the idea of executing Randal, in spite the fact he was shooting at us, made me sick to my stomach. Asshole or not, the boy didn't deserve to die just because he might or might not be a threat. On the other hand, in the world for what it was now, trusting people and hoping they are as civilized and merciful as you are would most likely get you killed. I hated it but that was a harsh reality we lived in and there was nothing we could do at that time to change that.

"Well, first things first, let's get you cleaned up, then we will talk about it," I said and dragged him into our tent. I cleaned his lip and forehead with some rubbing alcohol and then we laid down talking about what we should do, looking at it from many different angles, leaving no stone unturned. Soon enough, the sun was rising on the horizon and we fell into a quick and shallow slumber.

Few hours later we were assembled around the fire place waiting for Daryl to finish his "interrogation". I was sitting in one of the lawn chairs, drinking my coffee (thank god Hershel's farm was so well stocked) and huddling myself up in my thick white cardigan with hood on my head. Days were getting colder and the leaves were slowly turning yellow and orange. I loved fall, it was my most favorite of the seasons but with camping outside, it was turning out to be a bit of a problem.

"So what're you gonna do?" Lori asked pouring herself a cup of tea from the kettle placed near the fire. "We'd all feel better if we knew the plan."

"Is there a plan?" Andrea joined in.

"You're gonna keep him here?" Glenn inquired. I noticed Shane looking questioningly at Rick and then on the ground with an exasperated "go-fuck-yourself" kind of expression on his face. I knew Rick knew very well that their little road trip hadn't changed anything and that Shane became one dangerous asshole. He seemed to be reluctant to do anything about it and I was worried about how was all this going to end.

Rick just shrugged and nodded towards approaching Daryl saying." We'll know soon enough."

"Our boy there's got a gang, thirty men. Got heavy artillery and ain't lookin' to make friends," Daryl stated. "If they roll through here, the boys are dead and women, they gonna – they gonna wish they were."

I was standing next to Maggie and we exchanged looks. I already knew to what end was all this coming to and I didn't like it one bit, but there was no other choice, was it?

"What did you do?" Carol asked pointing to his bloody knuckles.

"Had a little chat," he retorted looking somewhat ashamed.

"No one goes near this guy," Rick ordered.

"Rick what are you gonna do?" Lori asked him.

"We have no choice," Rick said. "He's a threat. We have to eliminate the threat."

"You're just gonna kill him?" Dale asked incredulously.

"It's settled," Rick shot him down not looking at him. "We'll do it today," he said. He came up to me, took my hand and we started to walk away. I knew he needed me beside him today. This was hard for him. In spite of everything he was still a good guy with a conscience that was burdening him heavily for what he was about to do.

"You can't do this," Dale muttered as he caught up to us. "You don't wanna do this, I know you don't!"

"Dale talked about it all night," I said. "This decision was not made on a whim."

"And with what we know now I don't see a way out of it." Rick continued.

"But you can't just decide on your own to take someone's life!" Dale argued, persistent in his mission.

"Do you see a way around Dale?" I asked sadly.

"Plus the group seems supportive," Rick added.

"What, because they didn't speak back?!" Dale countered. "You didn't let 'em."

Rick started to pace around nervously while Dale continued pleading his case: "Look, there's gotta be a – a process."

"And what would that be?" Rick asked. "We – we can't call witnesses, go before a judge."

"So he's automatically guilty by association and sentenced to death?!" Dale questioned. "He's just a kid!"

"Give me some time to talk to everyone, to try to figure out another way –" Dale pleaded but was cut off by Rick.

"We can't drag this out," Rick shouted. "People are scared!"

"Which is why they need time to discuss this!" Dale was persistent.

"No! They need to be safe! I owe 'em that!" Rick retaliated.

"You think about your son!" Dale shouted at Rick. "The message that you're giving him. Shoot first, think later? I'm asking for one day to talk to everybody. You can give me that."

"Rick, Dale may be right," I said making him look at me in disbelief.

"You changed your mind 'bout this?" he asked and I could feel the hurt in his voice.

"No I haven't changed my mind about what we should do with Randal, but we should give everybody at least a space to voice their opinion. We need time to properly discuss something so serious like this. It's the least we can do. It's just one day." I could see he was not pleased with this but he finally agreed.

"We reconvene at sunset and then what happens, happens," he said and walked away.

"Thank you for speaking up for me Kiara," Dale said.

"No problem," I threw a small smile his way. "The least we can do is to talk it through with everybody. God, this will sound awful, but part of me wishes we would just left him there, in the town, but then we wouldn't be any better than the assholes that left him behind in the first place."

"Can I ask you a favor?" I heard Dale say as I started to walk away. I stopped and turned around curious as to what he wanted.

"Sure," I said.

"Could you guard Randal?" he asked. "You know Shane. If he finds out, he might do something rash."

"Yeah the thought crossed my mind," I agreed. "I'll keep an eye on him." I smiled at Dale and started walking towards the shed listening to the sound of distant thunders.

I was sitting on a barrel with my back propped against the shed when I heard Randal call out asking for some water. He was quite persistent. I sighed and went inside with my gun pointed at his head. I made him turn around to check if the shackles were still tight around his wrists and only then I gave him a drink from the water bottle I brought with me.

"They're gonna kill me right?" he asked making me snap at him.

"Don't even try that shit on me," I barked. "Just sit down and shut up."

I went outside again pissed at myself for going in there in the first place. Now that son of a bitch is trying to guilt me into helping him? I was resting my head against the wall and saw Andrea and Shane talk animatedly about something. They got quite close and I was afraid of the influence he might have on her. I was shaken out of my thoughts by approaching Rick.

"Hey! What're you doin' out here?" he asked.

"Dale asked me to keep an eye on Randal while he talks to everybody," I said and rested my head against his chest when he stepped up close to me. "Just trying to prevent certain individuals from doing something impetuous."

"Certain individuals, huh?" he asked pensively.

"Yeah," I said. "What's goin' on Rick?"

"I just… I hate to be the person that has to make this kind of decisions is all," he muttered into my hair.

"I know baby, that's why it's a good thing you gave Dale time to talk to everybody. Because, no matter what will transpire, it will be a group's decision, not entirely yours or mine. It will be on all of us."

Our conversation was cut short by the sound of Randal talking to somebody inside the shed. We barged in to find Carl inside in spite of Rick's explicit order to not come near the prisoner.

"Carl! What the hell are you doin' in here?!" Rick barked at him ushering him out.

"What the hell did you say to him?!" I shoved Randal against the wall putting my knife to his throat. "Remember what I said to you in that car? You mess with us, you're dead. It would serve you well to remember that my friend." I growled at him, then stepped outside and locked the shed. Rick was scolding Carl a few feet from where I stood and then told him to go find Lori.

**Rick's POV**

I was in the barn walking around, trying to figure out the best place to put the rope. I was trying to figure out the best way to do it and hanging him seemed appropriate. His neck would break and it would be all over. I was starting to think that it would be better if I just had left him for the Walkers that night. None of this would be happening right now.

"Is that really the best way to do this? To string him up?" I heard Kiara's voice behind me. I sighed.

"I have no idea," I said with a small smile. "It's my first time." I looked around not knowing how to continue. "Look I know how you feel about the death penalty…"

"Yeah, I made that pretty clear yesterday when we were talking about it," she cut me off. "But I also said that with the world for what it is now, I think it is the only solution and I…" she stopped, thinking. "I don't like it any better than you do, but I – I don't see a way around."

"So you support this decision?" I asked.

"I do. We talked about it all night and didn't come up with anything better. I seriously doubt that it will change after the sunset, but I really hope that maybe somebody will come up with better solution. Maybe we overlooked something…I don't know…" she was looking down on the ground, her bottom lip quivering in spite of all her efforts to stay strong, I knew this was killing her. It was killing me too.

"I hope so too," I said and sat on a haystack motioning for her to come sit next to me. She did so and I hugged her tight to me taking comfort in her warm body pressed against mine. She buried her face in my chest and muttered: "No matter what happens today, I'm beside you."

We were walking out of the barn when Carol approached us looking very displeased and yelling: "You need to control that boy!" It turned out he was mean to Carol about Sophia. I sighed, exasperated, and assured Carol I will have a word with my son and that it wouldn't happen again. I stormed off in the direction I saw him leave and tried to set him straight. He started to ask about Randal and the way we were gonna do it and it freaked me out, the expression on his face was so cold. I didn't like it one bit but I was clueless as to how to fix it.

"It's almost time," I heard Kiara mutter as she stepped on the front porch.

"I know," I said not able to say anything else.

"I know this isn't the way you wanted things to work out," she started.

"Yeah, it isn't, but I thought it through. I made the call. I'm ready to do this," I said.

"Now that's a lie," she stated making me turn around at her. "A guy like you, kind and loving and compassionate, you'll never be fully ready to do something like this. I mean, in the town, at the bar… that was different, none of us had time to think and if we didn't do what we did, we'd be dead now and those assholes would be out there looking for this place. But this? I mean, the more you think about it, the more you realize you don't wanna do this. That you don't wanna become this person that has to make these kinds of calls, and it's natural. There's no malice in your heart, there never was. But this world? This cold cruel place we all live in now? It changes people, it changes everybody, so you do whatever you have to do, and do it with a clear conscience. I agree with Dale that we need to hold on to our humanity as much as we can, but what good would our humanity do to us if we're dead?"

"What would I do without you, huh?" I asked as I enveloped her in a crushing hug.

"I seriously have no idea," she joked trying to lighten up the mood. "You know," she started. "You don't have to be the one to do it. I'm sure Shane would gladly do it for you."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, it has to be me," I said. "I brought him back here… Maybe I shouldn't have. I gotta keep these people safe. I gotta keep you safe. That is what I'm gonna do."

We were all gathered up in the sitting room of the farmhouse. Everybody was quiet and pensive.

"So how do we do this? Just take a vote?" Glenn started.

"Does it have to be unanimous?" Andrea asked.

"Well, let's just see where everybody stands, than we can talk through the options," I instructed.

"The way I see it, there's only one way to move forward," Shane said.

"Killing him?!" Dale barked at him. "Right? I mean, why even bother to take a vote, it's clear which way the wind's blowin'."

"Well if people believe we should spare him, I wanna know," I countered.

"Well I can tell you, it's a small group," Dale muttered "Maybe just me and Glenn."

The debate continued, many suggestions were thrown into the mix but none of them seemed to be the right one. At one point the topic somehow changed from whether we should kill Randal to how we were actually going to do it. Dale was pleading and begging and I saw he was starting to get to people, but none of us were going to agree with him. We were all scared and clueless.

"If anybody wants the floor before we make the final decision, has the chance," I said. More silence.

"You once said that we don't kill the living," Dale turned at me.

"Well that was before the living tried to kill us," Kiara cut it.

"But don't you see? If we do this, then the people we were, the world that we knew is dead! And this new world is ugly, it's… harsh, it's survival at the fittest! That's a world I don't wanna live in… and I don't – I don't believe that any of you do!" Dale pleaded, tears in his eyes. "I can't! Please… let's just do what's right. Ain't there anybody else who's gonna stand with me?"

"He's right," Andrea finally spoke up making Shane looking up at her in disbelief. "We should try to find another way."

"Anybody else?" I asked, the gravity of what we were about to do was starting to get to me. I turned around at everybody in the room but no one spoke up. It was settled. I looked up at Dale and shrugged.

"Are you all gonna watch too?" Dale spat out. "No you'll go hide your heads in tents 'n' try to forget that we're slaughtering a human being. I won't be a part of this." he said and started towards the door. He stopped next to Daryl and putting his hand on his shoulder, he said: "This group is broken."

Shane, Daryl, and I were dragging Randal into the barn. We decided that shooting him was going to be more humane. Randal was crying and pleading for his life, stuttering, making incoherent sounds. I was loading my Python while Shane blindfolded the kid telling him it would all soon be over.

"Do you have any final words?" I asked. He just cried and pleaded some more. I cocked my gun mentally preparing myself for what I was about to do.

"Do it dad," I heard Carl saying from the entrance. "Do it." At that moment I knew I couldn't, I knew I'd never could. "Take him away," I muttered. "Take him away."

Shane just stormed off, slamming the barn door open. Carl and I walked back to the camp to find everybody gathered around the fire. They saw us approaching and I said: "We're keeping him in custody. For now."

Everybody seemed relieved. Andrea went to tell Dale the good news. I wasn't entirely sure it was good for I knew Shane would be very difficult to deal with, especially after this.

Lori ushered Carl into the tent and followed right behind him nodding at me. I knew she was glad we didn't do it. I went into our tent to find Kiara sitting pensively at the cot, few stray tears streaming down her face. She looked up at me and I told her what happened. I told her that Carl followed us and wanted to watch the execution and that I realized I couldn't do it after all. She looked about as freaked out as I felt at that moment but reassured me it was a good decision to not go through with it.

We were sitting by the fire when we heard Dale scream. We grabbed our guns and ran towards the field where we heard the screams come from. Daryl found him first killing the Walker immediately and screaming for us to help. We arrived only to find Dale's abdomen torn apart. Everybody was standing around helpless, crying. Andrea and Kiara were kneeling beside Dale trying to calm him down.

"What can we do?" Kiara asked and Hershel knelt down to look at the wound.

"Can we move him?" I asked.

"He won't make the trip," Hershel said solemnly.

"You'll have to do the operation here! Glenn get back to—" Hershel cut me off shaking his head. Everybody was crying, their anguished cried mixing with Dale's cries of pain. Andrea was pleading for us to do something.

I raised my gun but couldn't bring myself to do it. To end the life of yet another one of us. Daryl stepped up and took my gun and aimed it at Dale's head and muttering "Sorry brother" he pulled the trigger.


	18. Chapter 18 - Lost

**CHAPTER 18 – LOST**

**Rick's POV**

"Dale could get under your skin. He sure got under mine. Because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought, how he felt. That kind of honesty is rare… and brave. Whenever I'd make a decision, I'd look at Dale. He'd be lookin' back at me with that look that he had… we've all seen it one time or another. I couldn't always read him, but he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us, the truth, who we really are.

In the end he was talkin' 'bout losing out humanity, he said this group is broken. The best way to honor him is to unbreak it, set aside our differences and pull together, stop feelin' sorry for ourselves, take control of our lives, our safety, our future. We're not broken. We're gonna prove him wrong. From now on, we're gonna do it his way. That is how we honor Dale."

I stopped speaking because I didn't know what else was there to be said. We were all standing beside yet another freshly dug grave. Kiara was huddled under my arm, clutching at my jacket and silently weeping.

After the funeral we split up into teams and went around the farm, checking the fences, making the place as secure as possible. Shane went with Andrea, Daryl and T-dog and I took Kiara, Glenn and Jimmy. None of us were really talking. Nobody knew what to say.

"It'll be tight, fourteen people in one house," I stated. We were moving our things inside the house. We talked about it and agreed it wasn't safe to camp outside anymore.

"Don't worry about that. With the swamp hardenin' 'n' the creek dryin' out –" Hershel started.

"With fifty head of cattle on the property, we might as well be ringing the damn dinner bell," Maggie added.

"She's right," Hershel agreed. "We should've moved you in a while ago."

We finished packing and moved everything inside, strategically placing all cars close to the exits facing out and stocking basement with food and water that could last for a few days. We also set up watch up on the windmill and barn window and assigned shifts.

I also decided I'll take Kiara (Not that I had a choice in the matter, after the last time she refused to let me go without her) and Daryl with me to drive Randal even further out and to cut him loose like we should've done the first time around. Shane didn't like it of course, but I made it clear, he doesn't have a say in the matter anymore.

"I see why you're not taking Shane with you," Hershel started. "Just know I've got no more patience where he's concerned."

"He's turnin' over a new leaf," I said, hardly believing it myself and had to suppress laughter when I heard Kiara mutter behind me: "Like hell he is."

"Andrea," I hollered. "When I'm out with Daryl and Kiara, help Hershel keep an eye on things around here."

"Me?" she questioned, surprised.

"Shane's got a way of letting things get out of hand, especially when he's all worked up."

"We're all a bit worked up at this point," Andrea countered.

"If he'll stay here permanently, he's got to understand that it's what Rick and I say, not whatever he wants," Hershel explained.

"You two become close," I stated.

"We talk," she retaliated.

"Then you know he's not a bad guy, he's just his own worst enemy," I reasoned and could almost hear Kiara roll her eyes next to me.

"You want me to babysit Shane?" Andrea asked incredulously making Kiara snort in amusement at that notion.

"I need to make sure that every time I leave the farm, all hell doesn't break loose," I said.

"Then maybe you should stop leaving," Andrea countered again.

"Well who else is stepping up to risk their lives and run errands for y'all?" Kiara chimed in. "I don't see that many volunteers." Andrea just rolled her eyes and started walking away.

"Will you keep an eye on things?" I asked exasperated.

"Of course."

We were setting up our stuff on the living room, Kiara and I took the corner of the room, setting up our cot and putting our backpacks on a pile next to it. We decided not to unpack them in case we needed to leave in a hurry. Hershel gave Lori and Carl his room which I was grateful for. At least my son will get a good sleep.

**Kiara's POV**

Rick, Daryl and I were standing on a front porch considering our options and figuring out where would be the best place to cut Randal loose.

"We take him out to Sannoy, hour there, hour back, give or take," Rick stated. "We may lose the light, but we'll be halfway home by then."

"This whole pain in the ass will be a distant memory, good riddance" Daryl muttered.

"Nicely said Daryl, almost poetic," I cracked making him roll his eyes at me and smirk.

"Focus woman!" he yelled at me jokingly.

"Carol put together some provisions for him," Rick continued, oblivious to our teasing each other. "Enough to last a few days."

"That thing you did last night," Rick started, but didn't know how to continue.

"Ain't no reason why you should do all the heavy liftin'." Daryl muttered. I could kiss him at that point. Finally, there was someone else who was with me on Rick's side, and understood the burden that was the leadership in this group. Daryl walked away to take a piss and Shane came up to us. I didn't even bother to cover my disgust anymore and turned my back on the man, huffing and rolling my eyes.

"Hey man, you've seen Carl lately?" he asked.

"He's inside with his mother," Rick said.

"Look he came to me," he started. "I wasn't supposed to say anything but he was out in the swamps yesterday, he came across a Walker stuck in a mud. He got scared 'n' ran off."

"The same Walker that killed Dale?" Rick asked.

"That's the one," he answered.

"I'll have Lori talk to him," Rick said.

"Look I think he wants to talk to his father," Shane retorted making me turn around to look at him. I didn't expect this level of empathy from a man like him.

"Well I need this Randal thing done already," Rick countered.

"Man that needs to wait ok?" Shane said, persistent and I could see that Rick was becoming restless, sighing and saying that it was his call. Shane offered to ride out with Daryl and me but I could see that Rick didn't like the idea any better than I did. Frankly, the idea of being in a car with Shane for hours made me homicidal. I spaced out a little and suddenly Shane was walking away rubbing his head in agitated manner.

"He's right," I said making him turn at me incredulously. "You need to talk to Carl. Randal can wait."

"I guess so," Rick sighed and went to find Carl.

I stayed at the front porch looking over a map once more. Then I decided to guard Randal before we head out and I went inside to tell Maggie where I'll be in case Rick got back and took my katana and gun. I walked towards the shed and peeped inside, but I didn't see anyone. What the hell? Where's Randal? I noticed tracks leading into the forest and I started to follow them. I cursed myself for not telling anybody what happened or where I went but it was too late for that now. I was walking through the forest for a while when I saw Shane walking right behind rambling Randal. It didn't look like he was chasing him. What the hell? I hid behind the trees, sneaking around, waiting to see what he was up to. It seemed that Shane decided to run with Randal back to his group. That sneaky bastard.

I was trying to figure out what to do when suddenly, Shane snapped Randal's neck. Just like that and then he ran towards a tree and busted his nose against it. I just stood there trying to process what I just saw happen right in front of me. I stepped back, shocked and snapped a twig under my feet alerting him to my presence. He looked up and when he saw it was me, the look on his face went from deranged to murderous and he lunged towards me. I jumped back and started running away from him, but he was stronger and faster. He grabbed me in a choke hold and dragged me to the ground.

"You shouldn't have come out here to follow me," he hissed into my ear. My head was becoming fuzzy from the lack of oxygen. I was writhing, trying to get out of his death grip but to no effect. "I had some other stuff planed for you when I was done with Rick, but I guess this will have to do."

I was still struggling; the panic was rising in my heart. Not only was I most likely going to die, but I was going to die knowing that Rick was in a lethal danger and there was nothing I could do to warn him. Those were the last thoughts that went through my mind before I slipped into the darkness.

**Rick's POV**

I was checking the handcuffs in the shed trying to figure out how the hell Randal got out of them and where the hell was Kiara. Everybody ran out, asking what happened. We were arguing about what to do when we heard Shane yelling my name and coming out of the woods, his face bloody.

"What happened?!" Lori yelled at Shane.

"He's armed! He's got my gun!" Shane yelled back.

"You okay?!"

"I'm fine! Little bastard just snuck upon me, got me in the face!"

"You seen Kiara?!" I asked and the panic I felt when I thought something might have happened to her, was absolutely overwhelming.

"Haven't seen her anywhere!" Shane retorted.

"Alright Hershel, T-dog, get everybody back in the house! Glenn, Darryl, come with us!" I shouted orders checking out my gun, and the four of us started to walk towards the woods.

"I saw him head out through the trees that way before I blacked out!" Shane pointed out the direction. "I'm not sure how long!"

"He couldn't have gotten far," I stated, following close behind him. "Where the hell is Kiara?! Maggie said she went to guard Randal!"

"Don't know," Shane dodged. "Maybe she went away for a moment and he snuck out."

"Maybe she went after him herself," Daryl argued.

"Yeah, maybe," Shane quipped.

"Can you track him?" I asked Daryl, I was losing it. Where the hell was Kiara? What if she went after Randal? What if he ambushed her? Or worse, what if he killed her?

"No, I don't see nothin'," Daryl said.

"Hey look, there ain't no use in trackin' okay? He went that way! We just need to pair up, we spread out and chase him down!" Shane insisted. All this was very weird. How the hell did Randal get out of the shed and what was Shane doing in the woods in the first place? I had a suspicion that this was his plan to get rid of me and if so, he would want to get rid of Kiara too but I decided to play along. Enough was enough. This was going to end tonight.

"All right, Daryl, you and Glenn start headin' up the right flank, me and Shane will take the left," I instructed. "Remember, Randal is not the only threat out there. Keep an eye out for each other."

We were walking for a while and it got dark. I knew what he was up to and I was trying to figure out what to do.

"Does this way feel right?" I asked.

"As right as any," he said turning around to face me.

"Snatched your gun, huh?" I asked.

"Yeah," he muttered. "Was my favorite piece too. C'mon, let's go," He urged. I didn't like it but I needed to buy some more time, so I started walking and let him follow me. We walked out on the clearing and I could see the farmhouse in the distance. The light was shining through the windows, unaware of what was transpiring nearby.

"So he got you with a rock?" I asked again.

"That's what I said," he muttered few feet behind me.

"Beside the shed?" I continued. No answer. "Except the door was shut when T-dog rolled up," I said calling him bluff.

"I saw that too," he said. "He must have slipped through the rafters in the roof."

I stopped and holstered my gun. "So this is where you plan to do it?" I inquired quietly.

"As good place as any," he quipped.

"At least have the balls to call this what it is… murder," I said and turned around to face him. "You really believe if you walk back on to that farm alone, no me, no Randal…" I started to circle around him. "You really believe they gonna buy whatever bullshit story you cook up?"

"There just ain't no story," Shane muttered with a cold blooded expression on his face. "I saw that prisoner shoot you down, I ran after him, I snapped his neck. It ain't gonna be easy, but Lori and Carl will get over you. They've done it before."

"And Kiara?" I started. "You know very well she's not gonna buy that for one second!"

"Well I wouldn't worry about that," he retorted, smirking at me. "I already took care of her."

"What the hell do you mean by that?!" I yelled at him. "Tell me!" I had to know. I almost lost it, but then I remembered my son was on that farm and that I needed to do what I could to protect him and everybody else from Shane's tyranny. He pointed his gun at me.

"Why?!" I asked. "Why now? I thought we worked this all out."

"We tried to kill each other man!" Shane barked at me mockingly. "What'd you expect? That we're just gonna forget everything and ride off into the sunset together?"

"So you kill me and my girlfriend in cold blood? Screw my ex-wife? Have my son, MY SON, call you daddy? Is that what you want? I know you! You won't be able to live with this!"

"What you know about what I can live with?" he sneered at me. "You got no idea what I can live with, what I live with! Wanna talk about what I can do Rick? How about what you can do Rick?!" he put his gun behind his belt and raised his arms in the air. "Here I am. C'mon man, raise your gun."

"No," I shook my head. "No I will not."

"What happened Rick? I thought you weren't the good guy anymore! Ain't that what you said?!" he pushed. "Even right here, right now, you ain't gonna fight? If I am such a threat to the camp, to everybody, why don't you do somethin', huh?! I had everything! I had Lori, I had Carl! I was the leader of the camp, but just have to come back with your fuckin' little girlfriend and destroy everything!"

I didn't know what to say. After everything we've been through, it has come to this… And he killed Kiara. It took everything for me not to crumble to the ground and scream in agony. I thought about my son and watched Shane circle me. I didn't recognize him at all.

"Raise your gun!" he barked at me.

"You're gonna have to kill an unarmed man," I said calmly and raised my hands in the air. "Watch my hand," I said as I started to lower my left arm to retrieve my gun from the holster. "Nice and easy," I took it out. "Easy does it," I whispered and started to walk towards him. I was quiet, watching his every move and getting closer to him. He had his gun still pointed at me.

I was just handing him my gun, effectively distracting him as I took out my knife and jammed it into his chest.

"Damn you for making me do this Shane! This is you! Not me! You did this to us! This was you! NOT ME!" I yelled. "What did you do to Kiara! WHAT DID YOU DO?!" I was grabbing him by his jacket, shaking him violently but he was already dead.

I couldn't keep it together any longer. I slumped to the ground and screamed like a mad man. Not only have I just killed my best friend, but the girl that I loved was probably dead. I didn't know what to do. I had no idea how I would ever come back from this. I felt absolutely lost.


	19. Chapter 19 - Found

**__****Whew, so with this chapter, the season 2 is behind us. What do you guys think?**

_**Just a heads up, I don´t know how soon I will be able to update, because I need to think some thing through and I also have a shitload of stuff to do for school since the semester is nearing the end, so just please be patient :-)**_

**cutelittlekitten18: _thank you so much. I still have some things to figure out when it comes to season 3 so stay tuned :)_**

**Micky-Moo:_ I believe you will find answer to your question below ;-)_**

**CHAPTER 19 – FOUND**

**Kiara's POV**

It was already dark outside when I started to perceive the world around me again. My head was pounding and my throat was sore. I picked myself up and looked around. I had no idea which way was back to camp. I was able to follow Shane out here but that was in the day. In this darkness, I was lost. I heard footsteps and muttering and saw flashlights. I snatched my katana out of its sheath, hid behind the nearest tree and waited. I jumped out only to be confronted with Daryl and Glen who both looked freaked out.

"What the hell are you doin' out here by yourself?! Where the hell were you?!" Daryl barked at me, but the relief was evident on his face.

"Where's Rick?! Shane?! I need to find Rick!" I yelled, panic rising in my throat.

"Whoah, calm down Kiara!" Glenn grabbed me by my shoulders.

"It was all Shane," I explained. "He freed Randal, lured him into the woods and then snapped his neck. He even broke his own nose against the tree."

"That explains the blood we found," muttered Daryl, not seeming remotely surprised.

"I went to guard Randal and when I found he wasn't inside the shed I ran into the woods and saw it all happen," I said. "Shane saw me and tried to strangle me, but I guess he stopped too early for me to actually suffocate," I said.

"You okay?" Glenn asked concerned.

"Yeah, I guess," I rasped. "Where's Rick?"

"That crazy son of a bitch went off with Rick to search for Randal," Daryl said.

"Oh my god. How long since you parted?!" I asked trying not to think what might happen to him.

"'Bout two hours ago," Glenn said.

"Shit!" I yelled again. "Which way did they go?!"

"That way," Daryl pointed out.

"Let's go!" I started towards the direction but Daryl pinned me to a tree, covering my mouth with his hand. I struggled against him but then I followed his gaze and saw a lone Walker. Guys took care of him and discovered it was Randal. We checked him for bites and scratches but didn't find any. That was odd, but we decided to worry about that later.

"Maybe we should go back and check if they returned," Glenn suggested.

"No way!" I shot him down. "I'm tellin' you, Shane's going to kill Rick!" I insisted and the tears started to blur my vision.

"C'mon," Daryl supported me with his arm. "We need to get back and tell the others. We need more people," he reasoned.

"All right," I breathed in and out to calm myself down. "But hurry."

We were running towards the front porch when I heard Glenn mutter "Oh shit". I turned around and saw the biggest herd of Walkers making its way towards us. Glenn ran inside to warn the others and soon we were all standing on the front porch deciding what to do. We decided to defend the farm for as long as we could because Carl was missing and frankly I wasn't going to leave until I found out what happened to him or Rick.

We loaded our weapons and I took the car with Maggie and Glenn. He was shooting from the passenger's seat and I took the back seat while Maggie was driving.

"Look, the barn's on fire!" I yelled at Glenn and then whistled at Daryl who was nearby, shooting Walkers from his motorcycle. He motioned for Jimmy who was driving the RV to go and check it out. We were still circling the farm and shooting as many Walkers as we could, but we were running out of ammo way too quickly and there was more and more of them coming. I knew the farm was lost but none of us was willing to give up so easily. The fire burning in the barn gave me a little glimmer of hope that maybe it was Rick who started it. It had to be, the other alternative was simply out of question.

We saw T-dog and others head out of the farm.

"Where the hell are they goin'?!" I asked.

"Should I follow them?" Maggie questioned.

Glenn turned around to see a big mass of Walkers coming towards our car and said to follow them. He told her to turn around the car and she did so, but we were cut off.

"Oh my god," Maggie cried out. We were swarmed. "I can't get through!"

"Get out!" Glenn said sternly. "Get of the farm now!"

"Don't say that!" Maggie protested.

"Maggie it's lost!" Glenn insisted.

"Wait! No!" I yelled. "What about Rick!? What about the others?! We can't just leave them!" I pleaded but my protests were being ignored as one of the Walkers slammed against the front window, making Maggie scream and back up.

"Get of the farm NOW!" Glenn yelled and Maggie did. We drove away leaving the farm and the others behind. I turned around and saw the endless stream of crawling corpses illuminated by the blazing fire consuming the barn and I started to cry, hugging my knees on the back seat of the car.

"All right, let's just – let's just circle back to the highway," Glenn instructed.

"Did you see my dad?" Maggie asked weeping. "Did – did he make it? Did you see?"

"I couldn't see anything," Glen muttered solemnly.

"And Beth, I lost Beth," Maggie rambled on, panicking. "We gotta go back."

"We can't go back, okay?" Glenn retorted. "There's nothing to go back to. Let's just circle around to the highway where we left supplies for Sophia."

"No!" Maggie shot him down. "The herd came from that direction."

"Just stop," Glenn muttered. "Stop the car, stop the car." And Maggie did, hitting the breaks roughly and momentarily shaking me out of my daze. I was numb but the stream of tears flowing down my face was restless. Glenn and Maggie switched their places and as soon as she was sitting on the passenger's seat she started to cry hysterically. I wanted to reach out my arm to soothe her, but I was inconsolable myself and I started to cry even harder. I had no idea how I was going to survive this.

**Rick's POV**

Carl and I were sneaking through the woods, avoiding the herd of Walkers swarming the farm. We managed to circle around and emerged from the woods beside the shed. Everybody was gone and I noticed Hershel standing alone and shooting one Walker after another. His Cherokee was still parked in front of the entrance. That was a relief. Then I saw a lone Walker sneaking behind him and managed to shoot it just as it was reaching its arms to grab him by his shirt. He turned around and I asked him:" Where's everybody? Kiara?! Have you seen Kiara?! Did she come back?!"

"I don't know what happened Rick. They just keep coming. It's like a plague. They're everywhere!" Hershel said, confused and sorrowful.

"Kiara! Did you see her?!" I insisted.

"No!" Hershel yelled back.

"We have to go! To find the others!" I said and shot the nearest Walker.

"It's my farm!" Hershel yelled with the typical Irish stubbornness.

"Not anymore!" I shot him down. We ran towards the Cherokee and drove away, leaving the farm behind us for good. I'd never been so terrified in my whole life.

We were the first ones to arrive at the place where we left supplies for Sophia. We agreed that if anybody got out of the farm, this was where they'd go. It was ominously quiet and we decided to look around.

"Wait, where is mom?" Carl asked. "You said she'd be here! We gotta go back for her!" he insisted.

I tried to calm him down but without any success. I don't blame him. I knew how he felt, I felt that too, but I had to keep him safe. I begged him to be quiet though. We didn't need another herd to blow through.

"Rick," Hershel started. "You got to get your boy to safety. I'll wait here for my girls and the others. I know a few places. We'll meet up sooner or later."

"Where?" I asked. "Where is safe? We're not splittin' up."

"Please," Hershel insisted. "Keep your boy safe. I'll hide in one of the cars. If a Walker gets me, so be it. I've lost my farm; I've lost my wife, maybe my daughters."

"You don't know that!" I retorted. "They'll be here." I said trying to reassure myself as well.

"You don't know that," Hershel said.

"You're a man of God!" I snapped at him. "Have some faith." I hadn't given much thought to Shane or Kiara. I couldn't. If I did, I would break down. I had to stay strong… for Carl.

We were waiting for quite a while and had to deal with a few lone Walkers. It really wasn't safe anymore. I was about to give up and do as Hershel said when I heard an engine rumbling and seconds later I saw Daryl and Carol on his motorcycle followed by the others. I saw Glenn and Maggie getting out of the car, the latter running towards her father.

And then the back door opened and I saw her. Kiara, her eyes tearstained and puffy, was looking at her feet, but then looked up and when she saw me, she started to cry and ran towards me. I just stood there unable to move, the relief washing over me in intense waves, tears prickling my eyes. She collided with me and tackled me to the ground yelling "You're alive, you're alive" then kissing me feverishly. I sat up with her still in my arms and enveloped her in a crushing embrace and cried and cried, kissing her on her mouth and cheeks and forehead and her hair. I really thought I would never see her again.

I looked around and saw everybody made it out except for Patricia, Andrea, Jimmy and Shane. We decided to head east and stay of the main roads to avoid large groups of Walkers. Leaving the blue truck behind we set out. Me, Kiara, Lori, Carl and T-dog we driving in the Cherokee, while Glenn, Hershel, Maggie and Beth took the Hyundai and Daryl with Carol were driving his motorcycle. We were on the road for a few hours and the sun was about to set, when I stopped the caravan.

"You out?" Daryl asked.

"Been runnin' on fumes," I muttered.

"We can't stay here," Maggie urged, but I didn't see any way around.

"We can't all fit in one car."

"We'll have to make a run for some gas in the morning," I said.

"Spend the night here?" Carol asked.

"I'm freezing," Carl cried.

"Here you go buddy," I turned around to see Kiara taking off her leather jacket to give Carl her thick cardigan she wore under it. He put it on and she ruffled his hair lovingly. It was such a motherly gesture. "This should keep you warm."

"We'll build a fire, yeah?" Lori instructed, looking up at Kiara, grateful for helping our son.

"Well we better go look around for fire wood," Daryl muttered readying his crossbow. "Stay close, only got so many arrows. How you doin' on ammo? "

„Not enough," I muttered.

"We can't just sit here with our asses hangin' out," Maggie countered but was immediately scolded by her father.

"Watch your mouth," Hershel said. "Everyone stop panickin' n' listen to Rick."

"All right, we set up a perimeter," I started, glad that I had Hershel's support. "In the morning we find some gas and some supplies and we keep pushin' on."

"Glenn and I can go make a run now 'n' try to scavenge some gas," Maggie offered, but that was out of the question.

"No, we stay together," I shot her down. "God forbid something happens and people get stranded without a car."

"Rick, we're stranded now," Glenn retorted.

"I know it looks bad. We've all been through hell and worse, but at least we found each other," I said, looking around. "I wasn't sure… I really wasn't… but we did. We're together. We keep it that way."

"Guys, Rick's right," Kiara started. "After what we've been through not twenty four hours ago, I don't want to split us up. We're stronger together." I went to her and hugged her to my side, knowing exactly how she felt. I won't leave her out of my sight ever again.

"We'll find shelter somewhere. There's gotta be a place!" I pleaded.

"Rick look around, okay?" Glenn started. "There's Walkers everywhere. They're - they're migrating or something."

"There's gotta be a place," I started, pacing around nervously. "Not – not just where we hole up, but we fortify, hunker down… pull ourselves together and build a life for each other! I know it's out there, we just have to find it!"

"There is such a place, and we will find it!" I heard Kiara state as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I know you're all freaked out, but we have to hold on!"

"Even if we find a place 'n' we think it's safe, we can never be sure for how long." Maggie retorted. "Look what happened with the farm! We fooled ourselves into thinkin' that it was safe!"

"We won't make that mistake again," Hershel countered.

"We'll make camp tonight, over there," I started. "Get on the road at the break of day."

People were still uneasy and panicked and when Daryl mentioned he found Randal and he turned without getting scratched or bit, my heart sank. It was true… what Jenner said at the CDC. I didn't want to believe it, but when Shane turned after I killed him, I knew he was right. I was dreading this moment. I didn't dare to predict the group's reaction to such news but there was no avoiding it now.

"We're all infected."

**Kiara's POV**

I was just standing there, looking at Rick, dumbstruck, and I wasn't the only one.

"What?" Daryl asked.

"At the CDC… Jenner told me… Whatever it is… we all carry it," Rick said. I couldn't believe my ears. I was a bit hurt that he didn't tell me, but I decided to hear his end of the story first before flipping out at him for keeping it a secret.

"And you never said anything?" Carol came up to him.

"Why? Would it make any difference?" Rick asked. I guess it wouldn't, but still.

"You knew this whole time?" Glenn asked incredulously.

"How could I've known for sure?" Rick retaliated. "You saw how crazy that bas…"

"That was not your call!" Glenn cut him off. "Okay, when I found out about the Walkers in the barn, I told for the good of everyone!"

"Well, I thought it best if people didn't know," Rick countered. Everybody just stood there, looking at him, trying to process what we just learned.

"Okay, let's just calm down. That's a shitload to process, so let's just set up a camp before the nightfall," I said and Rick started to walk away. I followed closely behind him. We had a lot to discuss.

"Hey there," I said quietly as I approached him.

"Hey," he threw me a small smile and gestured for me to come closer. I huddled under his arm and hugged him tight.

"So how mad are you at me?" he asked, the guilt heavy in his voice.

"I'm not mad at you," I said and looked up at him. He was looking down at me relieved but confused. "How are you not mad at me?" he asked.

"I really wanted to be, and maybe deep down I am," I started. "But not twenty four hours ago, I thought I lost you forever and that feeling was so overwhelming and terrible, that even thought I am holding you in my arms now, it's still lingering within me. I am way more relieved and grateful for the fact that we both survived this, than being mad at you for keeping a secret."

"I love you so much," he muttered into my hair and squeezed me so hard I thought my eyes would pop out. "I really thought I'd never see you again. Shane… he told me, he killed you…"

"Well, he certainly tried to," I muttered not wanting to relive that particular moment. "When did he tell you? What happened to him? Did you…?" I couldn't finish the sentence. The look on his face stopped me.

"He lured me out on the clearing… far away from the others… He threw everything he'd been holding back right in my face… then he said he took care of you… I couldn't… I almost lost it… the thought of losing you… it hurt so bad I almost couldn't breathe… He came at me and I… I killed him… stabbed him in the chest and he turned…. That's how I knew Jenner was right… Carl put him down."

I looked up at him again and his eyes were watery, his face full of fright, despair and fatigue.

"It's okay, Rick. You're gonna be okay. We're all gonna be okay. I love you," I said and kissed him. He kissed me back, hard, as if he was trying to reassure himself that I was still there. We just stood there hugging and rocking from side to side, savoring the moment, rejoicing that in spite of everything, we found each other again.

The night came early and we were all sitting beside the small fire. Rick, Daryl, T-dog and I were keeping watch on all sides of the mural. I heard Carol whining to Daryl who came down for a while about how they weren't safe with Rick and the anger inside me was rising very quickly. Daryl was defending Rick, which was sweet of him, but I couldn't contain myself anymore so jumped down and snapped at the older woman.

"You don't like where you are? How 'bout you try your luck on the road by yourself! Rick has done more to keep this group safe than any of you combined! So he didn't tell us we were infected, so what?! I' not sayin' it was a right call, but he's just a human! He makes mistakes just like anybody else! So do us all a favor and shut up. I'm sick of you people blaming him for everything that happens!"

"Kiara, baby, keep it down, please," Rick pleaded but as he came to me and hugged me to his side I could see the gratitude in his beautiful but tired eyes. We all heard leaves rustle in the distance and people started to panic again.

"What was that?"

"Could be anything, could be a raccoon, could be a possum," Daryl quipped.

"Or Walker?" Glenn asked.

"We need to leave! I mean what are we waitin' for?!" Carol urged.

"Which way?" Glenn asked.

"It came from over there," Maggie gestured to where we came from.

"Last thing we need is for everyone to be runnin' off into the dark… We don't have the vehicles. No one's travellin' on foot," Rick snapped, exasperated. He was done playing nice. That much was obvious and I welcomed it. These people needed to be set straight.

"Don't panic," Hershel whispered.

"I'm not," Maggie retorted. "But I'm not sittin' here waitin' for another herd to blow through. We need to move, now!"

"No one is goin' anywhere!"

"Do something!" Carol urged and Rick finally flipped out. I didn't blame him. It was long time coming. I was surprised he lasted this long without telling anybody to fuck off. I knew I wouldn't be able to.

"I am doin' somethin'! I'm keepin' this group together, alive! I've been doin' that all along no matter what! I didn't ask for this! I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ's sake!"

It was out now. Everybody just stood there, dumbstruck, not able to say anything. It was a lot to process, I admitt.

"You saw what he was like… how he pushed me… how he compromised us… how he threatened us. He staged the whole Randal thing and led me out to put a bullet in by back. He almost killed Kiara! He gave me no choice! He was my friend, but he came after me… My hands are clean!"

More silence.

"Maybe you people are better off without me… Go ahead! I said there's a place for us but maybe – maybe it's just another pipe dream. Maybe – maybe I'm foolin' myself again! Why don't you – why don't you go and find out for yourselves?! Send me a postcard! Go on! There's the door! You can do better? Let's see how far you get!

No takers? Fine! But let's get one thing straight! You're stayin'? This isn't a democracy anymore."


End file.
